Author ShaunaN Posted March 14, 2019 Author Share Posted March 14, 2019 We did get a priest in the end. They said they are not sure if any damage to his brain function has occurred. So he might be alive but not there. I am refusing to believe that. I went in and took his hand and said "Hey its Shauna" took his hand and he squeezed it. He did the same with his best friend I don't believe he has gone, I won't believe it. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 14, 2019 Share Posted March 14, 2019 Just sending you a hug Shauna. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShaunaN Posted March 14, 2019 Author Share Posted March 14, 2019 Thank you His heart stopped again today. The hospital reacted very quickly and were working on him in under a minute and had restarted it quickly. I'm scared. I don't know what to do. I know he will be mad I've not are I don't want to leave him Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted March 14, 2019 Share Posted March 14, 2019 Thank you. As for the will. Its not void as there is a provision if we was to get married. I have to admit I am not amazing or anything. I'm just me. There was times I wanted to give up, walk away or disappear. Times I felt so lonely. Don't get me wrong. Shauna, sometimes ordinary people ARE the most amazing people and I think you're definitely proof of that. You've shown strength, compassion, and love in a way that fits some of the best of what humanity is capable of. However this works out, I think what you've done is way, way beyond admirable. You can and should be very proud of how you've handled one of the most difficult situations that people find themselves in. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 14, 2019 Share Posted March 14, 2019 (edited) Shauna, sometimes ordinary people ARE the most amazing people and I think you're definitely proof of that. You've shown strength, compassion, and love in a way that fits some of the best of what humanity is capable of. However this works out, I think what you've done is way, way beyond admirable. You can and should be very proud of how you've handled one of the most difficult situations that people find themselves in. I completely agree. Shauna, having been in a similar position, there is nothing you can do right now except be there and pray. Don’t forget to eat, drink water, and try to rest however you can. Your husband would want you to do that. Sadly, the outcome is not yours to control... it’s not even the doctors to control. I don’t know about you, but I believe in a higher power and I believe that there are some things we are just not meant to understand. The sad reality is, this cancer has consumed and weakened his body. If he does recover, he faces a difficult battle and the prognosis is not good. As difficult as it was to accept, I had to at some point accept that this kind of suffering was not what I wanted for my mom. The sad reality was that coming home to resume life as it was was no longer an option. If the options were indefinite pain and suffering or death, I made my peace with the fact that I may need to let her go. We gave her permission to go... You are not there yet, he is still fighting. But, you may need to prepare yourself. You may need to find the strength and love him enough to let him go... Edited March 14, 2019 by BaileyB Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShaunaN Posted March 14, 2019 Author Share Posted March 14, 2019 I'll be honest. I'm not ready to let go. He has been strong all afternoon. I've still not ate or really drank. But I don't want to leave him Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 14, 2019 Share Posted March 14, 2019 Shauna, you need to get something to eat and drink. Go get something and bring it to his room. Or, all a friend and ask them to bring you something. It’s not realistic to think that you will be able to stay with him every moment. You do what you can, but you also need to stay healthy yourself. No, you are not there yet. He is not there yet. Right now, it’s wait and see. Give it time. I’m just preparing you, with much love and support, you may need to steel yourself for the possibility... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShaunaN Posted March 14, 2019 Author Share Posted March 14, 2019 Shauna, you need to get something to eat and drink. Go get something and bring it to his room. Or, all a friend and ask them to bring you something. It’s not realistic to think that you will be able to stay with him every moment. You do what you can, but you also need to stay healthy yourself. No, you are not there yet. He is not there yet. Right now, it’s wait and see. Give it time. I’m just preparing you, with much love and support, you may need to steel yourself for the possibility... No one is able to go. Ste's best friend has had to back to work. I don't want to go and something happens, because I feel it would be selfish of me if something happened, but I know Ste would be upset if I didn't take care of myself. I figured out apart from Ste's parents and his best mate I'm on my own, My family can't come over due to costs (I offered to pay but they refused saying I need to save my money). So its mainly me. I recorded a plane taking off when we was at the airport from the airline he has links with. I just hope he can hear it and recognises my voice when I talk (Not on the video) and the plane taking off. I don't want to think he is going. If I need to get a private doctor, if I have to sell my soul to the devil himself to fund the best doctors if the NHS can't do it I will. I don't want to let go. We have just started our adventure together. Surely his goal in life wasn't to marry me right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShaunaN Posted March 14, 2019 Author Share Posted March 14, 2019 I just got this text I'm one of your oldest friends and I've been by you in this whole situation. I have to say after whats happened you need to let go. Please walk away the pain now will be significantly less than when the inevitable happens and you'll be lumbered with everything. I'm going to be honest you shouldn't have left Dan for the UK. Look at this mess! Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted March 14, 2019 Share Posted March 14, 2019 I just got this text IÂ’m just curious...did your friends have a very poor impression of your husband? I just canÂ’t imagine any real friend would keep urging you to leave at a time like this. Do you think you may hire someone (like a college kid) a couple of hours each day to get the essential stuff like food ready for you for the day? Sending you my best wishes! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShaunaN Posted March 14, 2019 Author Share Posted March 14, 2019 IÂ’m just curious...did your friends have a very poor impression of your husband? I just canÂ’t imagine any real friend would keep urging you to leave at a time like this. Do you think you may hire someone (like a college kid) a couple of hours each day to get the essential stuff like food ready for you for the day? Sending you my best wishes! She did, I was seeing her brother and when I left for the UK I didn't think my relationship was enough to keep me in Ireland. Where would I find someone? I do need to eat soon I am feeling light headed and bleh 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted March 14, 2019 Share Posted March 14, 2019 She did, I was seeing her brother and when I left for the UK I didn't think my relationship was enough to keep me in Ireland. Where would I find someone? I do need to eat soon I am feeling light headed and bleh In the US, I would use craigslist to hire help. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShaunaN Posted March 14, 2019 Author Share Posted March 14, 2019 In the US, I would use craigslist to hire help. I don't know if I would feel comfortable letting a stranger see me so weak. Someone at work asked how I was. Sent them an essay Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted March 14, 2019 Share Posted March 14, 2019 I don't know if I would feel comfortable letting a stranger see me so weak. Someone at work asked how I was. Sent them an essay On the other hand, a stranger is someone who won’t judge you. There might be volunteers in the hospital who can help you buy meals at regular hours. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShaunaN Posted March 14, 2019 Author Share Posted March 14, 2019 On the other hand, a stranger is someone who won’t judge you. There might be volunteers in the hospital who can help you buy meals at regular hours. I've ordered off deliveroo. Asked them to deliver to the ward. I feel so empty at the minute. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 14, 2019 Share Posted March 14, 2019 Most hospitals have a cafe, or shops that sell sandwiches, drinks and snacks. Speak to the nurses. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShaunaN Posted March 14, 2019 Author Share Posted March 14, 2019 Most hospitals have a cafe, or shops that sell sandwiches, drinks and snacks. Speak to the nurses. They do, the cafe isn't bad but I really don't want to leave him at the minute. So I have food coming to me. When its the good nurses on like this morning they gave me lunch and dinner off the trolley. They always seem to order an extra one. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted March 14, 2019 Share Posted March 14, 2019 I've ordered off deliveroo. Asked them to deliver to the ward. I feel so empty at the minute. But you need someone to bring you food at regular times of the day. It’s very thoughtful for the nurse to give you food. Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted March 14, 2019 Share Posted March 14, 2019 I don't get why your friend would urge you to walk away and to think walking away reduces pain. You cannot have love in your life without pain and fear as well ... as we worry about the other person and take care of the other person. Part of a full and rich life is risking love and risking the disappointment and loss that can come from love. Running away is no answer ... You'll be in double-agony if you ran away. You would experience the same loss ... and you'd be critical of yourself. In a period of six years, I lost my mother, my father, and two brothers ... I spent hours ...days ... weeks ...years ... traveling back and forth to visit and take care of my parents and one of my brothers ... fatigue, despair ... loneliness ... tension ... terror ... And yet having been there for my family members in their last days has been one of the most satisfying experiences of my life. I have total peace about helping them, giving them all the love and support they needed, making sure they weren't alone ... You're doing absolutely the right thing ... Unfortunately we don't have good stories and narratives to draw upon when we're thrown into a crisis like the one you are in. So we don't know that fantasizing about fleeing and all of that is totally normal. You're doing wonderfully well ... even if you feel like crap right now ... That's simply the truth of the situation you're in ... Now eat! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShaunaN Posted March 14, 2019 Author Share Posted March 14, 2019 (edited) She was never happy I left her brother. He had a one night stand and expected me to be ok with it. She is poisonous. Funny thing (I laughed at this and I don't know why) the deliveroo driver said "I'm not allowed to deliver to patients. I said I'm not. Come on up and walk away if its for a patient you still get paid" He comes up and goes "Lady you aren't going to blend it are you?" I don't know if I'm doing it right or wrong. I'm just trying my best Edited March 15, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 14, 2019 Share Posted March 14, 2019 I just got this text With friends like this, who needs enemies... I’m glad you got some food. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted March 14, 2019 Share Posted March 14, 2019 Hi Shauna. Glad you got some food and hubby is staying strong. It’s all very good to hear Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShaunaN Posted March 15, 2019 Author Share Posted March 15, 2019 He is very strong. Just hope he gets stronger and pulls through. Last night was a good night for him. I haven't slept. I can't sleep with worry. The nurses are telling me to sleep. I can't. Coffee is my friend Link to post Share on other sites
Double Helix Posted March 15, 2019 Share Posted March 15, 2019 Glad to hear last night was a good night for your hubby and I hope that things will look up from now on. You really have to take care of yourself, if you don’t and fall ill the docs might not let you see him. Even a small cold may prevent you from being with him. Please take care of yourself for your sake and for your hubbys sake. I understand that sleeping , eating and drinking are not the highest priority for you right now. You are an amazing person, your hubby is lucky to have you and your body deserves to be treated well even under these circumstances. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted March 15, 2019 Share Posted March 15, 2019 It’s true what helix says. If you compromise your immune system by not giving yourself proper care you may fall ill and won’t want to be in the same room with him at all for fear of harming him in his delicate state. Are you at least taking vitamins and supplements when you are up to eating? Link to post Share on other sites
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