Date in hospital/after hospital

[ShaunaN]

Thank you all

 

I have been eating a bit today. Had breakfast and lunch. I needed new surroundings so when his parents came I went for a wander and to get food. Went outside too.

 

Doctor's have said he appears to be better today than yesterday but he is improving.

[amaysngrace]

Excellent news, Shauna. Thanks for the update

[BaileyB]

That is all good news...

[ShaunaN]

There is a pub next to the hospital. I had my lunch in there. I feel guilty though had a glass of wine with lunch. I just wanted to do it for me. I do feel guilty though.

[amaysngrace]

Why? He’s probably on some heavy meds himself.

 

The unwind is good for your nerves Shauna. And ‘tis St Pats after all.

[Lotsgoingon]

There is a pub next to the hospital. I had my lunch in there. I feel guilty though had a glass of wine with lunch. I just wanted to do it for me. I do feel guilty though.

 

Great update on your husband. Keeping my fingers crossed.

 

I love your guilt, Shauna. It's so cute ... I've been urging you to let it go ... but it's part of you and what makes you wonderful. Sometime after this crisis ... you and Ms. Guilt can perhaps schedule a conversation. Tell her to ease up on Shauna.

 

Did you get those massages yet? Yes, you may feel guilty getting them, but please do it anyway.

[ShaunaN]

Why? He’s probably on some heavy meds himself.

 

The unwind is good for your nerves Shauna. And ‘tis St Pats after all.

 

I know, I hope the luck of the Irish is rubbing off on him. I've built a little Aer Lingus model and I've put my Aer Lingus teddy next to him. It smells of me (perfume etc) so hopefully he recognises it. Make it a bit Irish, I have a little Irish flag in my bag I might put it up. As for the wine, if this was any other St Patricks day at any other time. We would be drunk and not remembering anything!

 

I've got some snacks and some bottles of pop for the afternoon. His best friend is coming shortly so I can go eat.

[ShaunaN]

Great update on your husband. Keeping my fingers crossed.

 

I love your guilt, Shauna. It's so cute ... I've been urging you to let it go ... but it's part of you and what makes you wonderful. Sometime after this crisis ... you and Ms. Guilt can perhaps schedule a conversation. Tell her to ease up on Shauna.

 

Did you get those massages yet? Yes, you may feel guilty getting them, but please do it anyway.

 

I had some before the wedding and one Monday before the op. I have to admit they are amazing! I just can't justify leaving Ste for a while to go have one. Plus the guilt I'd have.

[JuneL]

Do you sleep and shower in the hospital? Have you heard from his friends/relatives about coming to visit him?

[ShaunaN]

Do you sleep and shower in the hospital? Have you heard from his friends/relatives about coming to visit him?

 

I sleep in the chair in his room and there is a shower the nurses kindly let me use.

 

His mum and dad and his best friend come daily. He has his friends from Holland checking in on him.

[ShaunaN]

I've eaten, Sitting in a hospital restaurant is actually a nice change than the ward. Do you think I'm weird/crazy staying here constantly?

 

Ste keeps squeezing my hand when I talk to him. I hope its him saying he is there.

[amaysngrace]

He knows you’re there. He hears your voice and so he definitely knows. Our sense of sound is really quite remarkable.

[BaileyB]

I've eaten, Sitting in a hospital restaurant is actually a nice change than the ward. Do you think I'm weird/crazy staying here constantly?

 

Ste keeps squeezing my hand when I talk to him. I hope its him saying he is there.

 

I stayed the night the last few nights before my mom passed. Prior to that, I went home to sleep every night because staying over was not really sustainable long term. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. The last thing that I wanted was to get sick and not be able to visit at all...

[Lotsgoingon]

Shauna, there is no weird in your position ... You living at the hospital basically ... no not weird whatsoever ... a student of mine told me her little sister had cancer ... and mom basically moved into the hospital room. Now that's mom and child ... still of course, you are going to basically be at the hospital all the time.

 

But you can give yourself a break ... go home and sleep ... and get another massage! ....

 

Maybe there's a way we make you feel guilty for NOT having a massage. Glad you liked them. Have a drink and a massage! ... That should be one of your next goals... a drink and a massage on the same day.

[ShaunaN]

One of the reasons I don't want to leave him was something he actually said when we worked together. Its a belief of his. Some back story. On a Friday afternoon, if we had finished out jobs, we could leave at 2pm. We'd be on call but can work remotely. Everyone had finished but me as I was struggling that week, so I couldn't leave early. He was getting up to go and everyone was going for a few drinks.

 

He turns to me and asks me if I was coming. I said no because I still have a few jobs left to do (This was before we started dating). He put his stuff down. Sits back down and starts helping me finish my jobs. We get them fairly quickly. He turns to me and says "You've not eaten today. You need to eat. I insist I will take you for some food".

 

We end up in some greasy kebab/chicken place near work. He bought me something to eat and we talked. I asked him why he stayed when he could have left. He replied "We are a unit, a team. If one of us is struggling I see it as the teams job to stay and help. Leave no one behind". It really stuck with me. I offered to repay him for staying and for the food. He said "Just pay it forward to someone else". He even walked me to my car to make sure I got back on. Now he could have left hours ago. He could have gone I'm done I'm off. He didn't he stayed with me until the end. I see it as me doing the same here, if you get me?

 

What he didn't know was I had hardly ate that week because I was stressed, my ex in Ireland was having a go. I suppose we could class that as our first date, but it was more the humanity he had shown.

 

So until he is out of danger I'm going to try and stay. I hear him say "Leave no one behind". When he is out of danger and on the road to recovery then I can go back to the old routine where I slept at home and went in to see him.

 

If I was going to have another drink it would be tomorrow. A pint of Guinness. Its tradition in our family that we have one either Sunday before or if it falls on a Sunday as many as we want. So if his parents come at lunch I can grab some lunch and try and keep the tradition. If not. no worries. I can wait for massages and such. He is more important.

 

I was looking for after hospital. A mini city break when Ste is up to it. A honeymoon so to speak. I saw some amazing deals. I then remembered travel insurance and travel insurance for Ste is 4 times the cost of the break. So we might need to wait for a while, take a break to York or similar.

 

Ste did well again last night. Doctors seem really happy. I didn't sleep at all.

[ShaunaN]

I've also not kissed him from before the op. I miss doing that. I don't want to do anything whilst he is hooked up to the machines and such. I don't know what pain he is in, so wouldn't want to hurt him more.

 

I do feel guilty for not kissing but I don't want to hurt him.

 

Have to say the nurse we've become friendly with has been amazing, she brought me in a full breakfast this morning

[Double Helix]

Hey Shauna,

regarding the kissing, I have no experience what to do or not to do in this situation. But kissing his hand for example should be fine I would imagine? (i know it’s not the same as a “real” kiss)

Talk to him so he can hear your voice, or play him some music that means something to the both of you.

 

I am glad the nurses are taking some care of you too. Please don’t feel so guilty, you are doing more than a lot of people would have done in your situation. Sending you lots of strength.

[ShaunaN]

Hey Shauna,

regarding the kissing, I have no experience what to do or not to do in this situation. But kissing his hand for example should be fine I would imagine? (i know it’s not the same as a “real” kiss)

Talk to him so he can hear your voice, or play him some music that means something to the both of you.

 

I am glad the nurses are taking some care of you too. Please don’t feel so guilty, you are doing more than a lot of people would have done in your situation. Sending you lots of strength.

 

I've been told its ok to kiss. I just don't want to hurt him.

 

Today, Ste's best friend came, said she'd sit with him for a bit, So I've popped home to change the clothes I brought, pick the post up and I've ended up in a take away eating.

 

Apparently I forgot to pay a bill, now I've been charged £12 Not sure if I can ring up and ask them to remove it. I owed £8.50 on a credit card. One I used to pay for the parking when he was rushed to hospital.

[anika99]

I've just read this whole thread and I'm so sorry that you and your husband are going through so much.

 

You really must sleep. I went through a loved one passing several years ago and I came down with the flu which turned into pneumonia. I hadn't slept or ate properly for weeks and I really think that's why I got so severely I'll. Can you have a doctor prescribe a mild sedative for you just to make sure you're getting some sleep every night? Also it's pretty hard to sleep well in a chair. Are you at least able to use a second chair as a sort of foot rest so that you can kind of recline. Some hospitals have fold away cots that loved ones can use when they stay overnight. I guess if they had anything like that they would have already offered but it never hurts to ask.

 

I'm really hoping for the best for you both.

[ShaunaN]

I've just read this whole thread and I'm so sorry that you and your husband are going through so much.

 

You really must sleep. I went through a loved one passing several years ago and I came down with the flu which turned into pneumonia. I hadn't slept or ate properly for weeks and I really think that's why I got so severely I'll. Can you have a doctor prescribe a mild sedative for you just to make sure you're getting some sleep every night? Also it's pretty hard to sleep well in a chair. Are you at least able to use a second chair as a sort of foot rest so that you can kind of recline. Some hospitals have fold away cots that loved ones can use when they stay overnight. I guess if they had anything like that they would have already offered but it never hurts to ask.

 

I'm really hoping for the best for you both.

 

I do have another chair I can pop my feet on. The doctors here have been really good. The nurses get them to check me regularly. I don't want sedatives. I want to be alert if something happens.

 

I've got the 6 nations rugby on, being a bit selfish but I'm sure Ste won't mind.

[Lotsgoingon]

I've just read this whole thread and I'm so sorry that you and your husband are going through so much.

 

You really must sleep. I went through a loved one passing several years ago and I came down with the flu which turned into pneumonia. I hadn't slept or ate properly for weeks and I really think that's why I got so severely I'll. Can you have a doctor prescribe a mild sedative for you just to make sure you're getting some sleep every night? Also it's pretty hard to sleep well in a chair. Are you at least able to use a second chair as a sort of foot rest so that you can kind of recline. Some hospitals have fold away cots that loved ones can use when they stay overnight. I guess if they had anything like that they would have already offered but it never hurts to ask.

 

I'm really hoping for the best for you both.

 

Great suggestion, Anika! ... I was thinking of recommending that Shauna ask for a sleeping pill of some sort. People have fear of going on sleeping pills. But this is exactly the kind of situation where a sleeping pill or a sedative is absolutely appropriate ... A friend of mine had a saying along the lines of ... sometimes you need a pill to calm yourself down ... so that you can sleep ... and think ... about how to calm yourself down ...

 

Shauna ... if you are afraid of kissing him ... then tell him you are imagining kissing him ... describe what you want to do in detail ... you can get playful even ... he'll get a kick out of that.

[ShaunaN]

Great suggestion, Anika! ... I was thinking of recommending that Shauna ask for a sleeping pill of some sort. People have fear of going on sleeping pills. But this is exactly the kind of situation where a sleeping pill or a sedative is absolutely appropriate ... A friend of mine had a saying along the lines of ... sometimes you need a pill to calm yourself down ... so that you can sleep ... and think ... about how to calm yourself down ...

 

Shauna ... if you are afraid of kissing him ... then tell him you are imagining kissing him ... describe what you want to do in detail ... you can get playful even ... he'll get a kick out of that.

 

I'd prefer to be alert in case anything happens. If he needs me in the night to be just there I don't want to fight a tablet.

 

I just don't want to hurt him, He hasn't woken from the operation yet. So I'm not sure if he will enjoy me being playful? nor do I think I can be playful. I'm petrified still.

[ShaunaN]

I went outside to get some fresh air had my purse in my hand and someone has snatched it from me.

 

Police won't come straight away they wanted to "book an appointment"

[amaysngrace]

I was in a bad car accident once, my car was totaled, the children and I spent the day/evening in the hospital ER getting checked out and I had full body aches. We put the outside lights off to go to bed early and just then we heard a noise at the side of the house. Somebody took a wreath I had made for Easter off the side of the house once we pulled the lights.

 

I sat there in amazement for a moment in utter disbelief that there was anything of mine that somebody would want at that present time.

[ShaunaN]

I was in a bad car accident once, my car was totaled, the children and I spent the day/evening in the hospital ER getting checked out and I had full body aches. We put the outside lights off to go to bed early and just then we heard a noise at the side of the house. Somebody took a wreath I had made for Easter off the side of the house once we pulled the lights.

 

I sat there in amazement for a moment in utter disbelief that there was anything of mine that somebody would want at that present time.

 

They only got my joint credit card. The bank actually were really good about it, even though I wasn't the main account holder. I just think its more sad that they stole from someone at a hospital.

 

I've put up a Irish flag and made the room about more Irish. Trying to make St Patricks day the best I can in the circumstances.

 

Hopefully his parents will come up to see him during the day so I can get lunch and I know I sound selfish, a pint of Guinness (or maybe 2!). I'll try and not feel guilty after it.

 

I hope no one here (this forum or the hospital) or in general minds me making the room a bit green for St Patricks day.