Date in hospital/after hospital

[BaileyB]

I get where they are coming from, they want him to get better, but other people have chemo as an out patient. They are keeping him in because of the type of cancer and how it is rare.

 

It was the same for my mom. She wanted to come, but she needed to be in hospital because she was very sick. I didn’t want to be responsible for her care. It exceeded what could realistically be managed at home without nursing support.

 

I'm going to sound selfish, I didn't imagine as a kid starting married life this way. I wouldn't change it nor would I change Ste.

 

Of course you didn’t. And, you have every right to be sad/upset about that. It’s not fair.

[JuneL]

Can you apply for getting him a few hours out like you did last time?

[ShaunaN]

It was the same for my mom. She wanted to come, but she needed to be in hospital because she was very sick. I didn’t want to be responsible for her care. It exceeded what could realistically be managed at home without nursing support.

 

 

 

Of course you didn’t. And, you have every right to be sad/upset about that. It’s not fair.

 

I wouldn't change anything with Ste. I love him to the moon and back Ste does a lot for himself. The nurses make sure he is ok and bring him his pills, They do nothing else like bed baths etc, I can see why he wants to be home

 

Can you apply for getting him a few hours out like you did last time?

 

I am going through the process of getting him time out but I'm concerned he won't go back.

 

He texted his best friend last night asking for her to come let him out, I really do think he is having flashbacks of his childhood

[FMW]

When my dad was fighting his cancer they released him from the hospital during one of his stays and we ended up having an emergency that very night at home that required an ambulance to transport him the 50 miles back to the hospital. It was very traumatic for him (and for my mom and me) and worsened his condition considerably.

 

As Bailey said, there's a very good reason they are keeping him in, even if it seems he's stable enough to go home. And it's good you do realize that, as you say his cancer is rare and so unpredictable. I can only imagine how hard that is for you both after all this time though.

 

I would make sure to communicate with his doctors about his emotional state (i.e. asking his friend to come let him out). I'm not sure how your healthcare system works - are you able to request "second opinions" or alternatives? If nothing else that might make him feel like he has more control over what is happening with him.

[JuneL]

Do they bring him warm towels to wipe his body? It’s actually less depressing when you can do most of the things yourself as a patient.

 

Can you request a psychologist to help him cope emotionally?

[JuneL]

When my dad was fighting his cancer they released him from the hospital during one of his stays and we ended up having an emergency that very night at home that required an ambulance to transport him the 50 miles back to the hospital. It was very traumatic for him (and for my mom and me) and worsened his condition considerably.

 

As Bailey said, there's a very good reason they are keeping him in, even if it seems he's stable enough to go home. And it's good you do realize that, as you say his cancer is rare and so unpredictable. I can only imagine how hard that is for you both after all this time though.

 

I would make sure to communicate with his doctors about his emotional state (i.e. asking his friend to come let him out). I'm not sure how your healthcare system works - are you able to request "second opinions" or alternatives? If nothing else that might make him feel like he has more control over what is happening with him.

 

I think that one drawback about having (almost) free public healthcare is that you don’t get to choose doctors. They probably need to go private for a second opinion, which may be extremely expensive for his condition.

[ShaunaN]

When my dad was fighting his cancer they released him from the hospital during one of his stays and we ended up having an emergency that very night at home that required an ambulance to transport him the 50 miles back to the hospital. It was very traumatic for him (and for my mom and me) and worsened his condition considerably.

 

As Bailey said, there's a very good reason they are keeping him in, even if it seems he's stable enough to go home. And it's good you do realize that, as you say his cancer is rare and so unpredictable. I can only imagine how hard that is for you both after all this time though.

 

I would make sure to communicate with his doctors about his emotional state (i.e. asking his friend to come let him out). I'm not sure how your healthcare system works - are you able to request "second opinions" or alternatives? If nothing else that might make him feel like he has more control over what is happening with him.

 

The doctors know about it, they say its due to the time and his thoughts of the hospital. They say he is ok in that regard.

 

He really does want to go home, Its hard for me hearing this

 

Do they bring him warm towels to wipe his body? It’s actually less depressing when you can do most of the things yourself as a patient.

 

Can you request a psychologist to help him cope emotionally?

 

They don't I have some on the radiators The psycologists been said its just stress of the situation!

 

I think that one drawback about having (almost) free public healthcare is that you don’t get to choose doctors. They probably need to go private for a second opinion, which may be extremely expensive for his condition.

 

He has some of the best doctors from the Christies hospital.

 

I'm trying to trace a list of airline liveries. I want to help him with this model.

[ShaunaN]

I'm struggling a bit here. Ive spoke with Ste's best friend, She is coming over tomorrow to sit with him and talk. I'm going to get some time away, go for a drive.

[ShaunaN]

Ended up in Blackpool. Ste loves it up here because of the sea air and "The chips always taste better"

 

Sitting on the beach has let me think.

[amaysngrace]

Anesthesia can bring repressed memories back. Ste was under for a good long while so it may explain his sudden childhood flashbacks.

 

I’d speak to the doctor about it.

 

I’m glad you’re on the beach. It’s my personal favorite place on earth.

[ShaunaN]

Anesthesia can bring repressed memories back. Ste was under for a good long while so it may explain his sudden childhood flashbacks.

 

I’d speak to the doctor about it.

 

I’m glad you’re on the beach. It’s my personal favorite place on earth.

 

The doctor says it'll pass. Ste's best mate said he was talking about someone they grew up with and they were looking him up and realised he worked for an airline. Called Titan. Ste's apparently worked with them before. I'm thinking of looking them up so I can chat to Ste about them (I know Aer Lingus and Ryanair)

 

His best friend said he was really calm today, they went for a walk and they snuck out of the hospital for a wander, I expected nothing less of them.

 

I feel calmer and happier, I'm focused again

[amaysngrace]

That’s terrific to hear. I’m happy for you

[ShaunaN]

That’s terrific to hear. I’m happy for you

 

I just want him home, You were right about having a different level relationship with his best friend. They trust each other so much its another level.

[amaysngrace]

Considering the hell they both went through you’re lucky to not be on that level. It doesn’t mean their relationship is more special than yours and Ste’s either, in case you’re doubting yourself about your worthiness again. Girl you really need to stop doing that! You’re awesome in so many ways of your own!!

 

But he chose you probably because you’re a breath of fresh air and he’s not willing to stay in victim mode and live in the past forever. Be glad you can’t relate, truly.

 

You’re not getting down on yourself, are you?

[ShaunaN]

Considering the hell they both went through you’re lucky to not be on that level. It doesn’t mean their relationship is more special than yours and Ste’s either, in case you’re doubting yourself about your worthiness again. Girl you really need to stop doing that! You’re awesome in so many ways of your own!!

 

But he chose you probably because you’re a breath of fresh air and he’s not willing to stay in victim mode and live in the past forever. Be glad you can’t relate, truly.

 

You’re not getting down on yourself, are you?

 

I am a bit, but not for reasons you are thinking I really want to understand what theyve been through and I want to talk to Ste about things he is interested in, like this titan airline thing, I just don't want him getting bored of me.

 

Ste's best friend has explained some things and it really is horrific. They don't label themselves as victims. They have good jobs, and look out for each other. Its very refreshing to see.

 

I just want to say "Hey I'm here if you ever want to let me in to that world"

[amaysngrace]

I think talking about the titan airline thing is a good idea. It’ll take his mind off of the heavier conversations he’s having with his BF. Let them have that. You couldn’t relate anyway and it would probably just bum you both out. You because you’ll pity him and him because he is being pitied.

 

Be his sunshine, not his rain. Talk about things he loves.

[ShaunaN]

I think talking about the titan airline thing is a good idea. It’ll take his mind off of the heavier conversations he’s having with his BF. Let them have that. You couldn’t relate anyway and it would probably just bum you both out. You because you’ll pity him and him because he is being pitied.

 

Be his sunshine, not his rain. Talk about things he loves.

 

I'll be honest I haven't a clue about this titan airline. I wouldn't know where to start

 

I get what you are saying, I just want him to know I'm here.

 

I don't ask about those conversations, I'm not sure if its right but I find its to let them discuss whatever they need to.

 

I really do love him I hope he knows that

[amaysngrace]

Honey you wouldn’t still be with him if you didn’t love him. Believe me, he knows it as much as he knows anything.

 

Ask him about the titan. He may love telling you all about it.

[ShaunaN]

Honey you wouldn’t still be with him if you didn’t love him. Believe me, he knows it as much as he knows anything.

 

Ask him about the titan. He may love telling you all about it.

 

I've asked him and he says it will bore me, because he knows I'm not really into it. So I'm thinking if I can say "Oh I know Titan because they...."

 

I know aviation is a big part of his life. I also want to go "hey here is another model of that one that was broken" or no? would that upset him?

[ShaunaN]

I've asked him and he says it will bore me, because he knows I'm not really into it. So I'm thinking if I can say "Oh I know Titan because they...."

 

I know aviation is a big part of his life. I also want to go "hey here is another model of that one that was broken" or no? would that upset him?

 

Interesting night, Ste fell asleep early. They started him on a different type of cancer drug because after the nightmares and such they think now that he is having a reaction to a drug.

 

So I got on to the internet and found this titans website. Learnt so much last night. Then I found this plane

 

http://www.titan-airways.com/files/uploads/images/p17qmhijegpes1192108abid17lk12.jpg

 

Thats the broken plane he has! So I sent a whatsapp to his best mate, She replied

 

"I got it from a second hand shop, I didn't know what it was but Ste loved it. I think you shouldn't get him another. My reasoning. Ste has said you and me are the two most important people in his life. Getting him a plane in that colour will revisit the past for him and me. Why don't we go halves and get him another one? I've seen some wooden hand carved ones. We can get it and say its a fresh start and the past is the past. Me and Ste will always have it together but we should start new adventures!"

 

I found this https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Aero-Commander-500-Westwing-Aviation-Solid-Wood-Hand-Carved-Hand-Painted-Model/202378489889?hash=item2f1eb2b021:g:LnwAAOSw3EVbKM9s&frcectupt=true

 

Stes BF said she liked it but we should meet up for a coffee and have a look.

 

I asked why this Titan was so important to him, Ste's BF explained but has asked it not be shared with anyone. Needless to say I cried. I've only got a small snippet of their lives and it was very hard for them. It really is that friendship means a lot and can get anyone through anything.

Edited April 14, 2019 by ShaunaN

[ShaunaN]

Have to say today has been a good day. We snuck out to the pub next door for food. It was really nice, felt like we were being really naughty.

 

Ste said he was going to be "bad ass" and have a lemon slice in his coke.

 

Those chicken wings were the best ever.

[ShaunaN]

Ste went through his mail/e-mails.

 

- He is going to be made redundant in 3 months time, Which is a bit rubbish we'll survive somehow

- Ste got letter from another company he worked with offering him a job to start "when he is feeling fit and well" Slightly more money and they've said he can start when he is ready his job is waiting.

 

So great news, he got an e-mail inviting him to his own leaving party.

[amaysngrace]

That plane is beautiful, Shauna.

[ShaunaN]

That plane is beautiful, Shauna.

 

Yesterday was a beautiful day. It was like our very first date all over again

[amaysngrace]

Aww...LOVE that!!!