S2B Posted February 22, 2019 Share Posted February 22, 2019 Just do not talk to him! Hold up your hand like a stop sign if he approaches you. Him giving you coffee and food is his way of trying to win you back. Tell him NO when he brings it to you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lolita888 Posted February 22, 2019 Author Share Posted February 22, 2019 Just do not talk to him! Hold up your hand like a stop sign if he approaches you. Him giving you coffee and food is his way of trying to win you back. Tell him NO when he brings it to you! Yeah I am trying my best not to talk to him except if it has something to do with work. I didn't accept the coffee and sandwich argh if there was no one else in the room I would've throw it in trash right away so he can see. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted February 22, 2019 Share Posted February 22, 2019 Yeah I am trying my best not to talk to him except if it has something to do with work. I didn't accept the coffee and sandwich argh if there was no one else in the room I would've throw it in trash right away so he can see. Do it while other people watch. Then he may have to explain somethings! If asked, you simply say “I didn’t ask for that”! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Blue_Cloud Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 Sorry to break it to you, but you were getting used while he is in your country. He’s just using you for a lay, and will chuck you when he’s done. He will prolly find another to use when you leave Link to post Share on other sites
Author lolita888 Posted March 29, 2019 Author Share Posted March 29, 2019 (edited) Sorry to break it to you, but you were getting used while he is in your country. He’s just using you for a lay, and will chuck you when he’s done. He will prolly find another to use when you leave I know that this is a very late reply. I was actually planning to let this thread die but some things happened that triggered me again. I am not sure if it's sex that he was really looking for; maybe it is but maybe not. Whatever reason he sad... it was very cruel thing to do. I am still hurt and angry with what he did. The fact that I had to work with him again before I could even move on is really taking it's toll on me. I was fine at first but lately it feels the wound was starting to reopen. Anyways about sex. One of the things that made me insecure back when we were newly dating was the lack of sex (lol). I wanted to make him horny and all but it seems that no matter what I do, nothing can ever make him H. We do it but it's as if he never really get to c*m which often times left me feeling bad. I got angry and broke up with him and he will try to get back and do it but there's just that feeling that he wasn't really into it. After more than a year of being lovers, that's when I really felt that he really wanted me and horny for me and c*m for real. But again it wasn't all good... because he pull away after that. He goes to toilet and when I saw him he looks like he was really upset. I thought that maybe he had some problems and was hurting. The next day he pulled way.. until I get angry and break up but then he made up with me again. He often used his age as a reason (he was 48) and he said that he did had some surgery so it does have some effect on him. But now I think he was just feeling guilty. After almost 4 years. He changed. He became more active with me. Trying to please me and I can tell he is enjoying it and no longer feeling guilty or pulling away after we made love. He was very open to me. He told me that he needed to connect emotionally before he can really do that. Things that I noticed: Whenever he's at his home. There were times when we do sex talk and I asked him to do it on cam. Sometimes he is extra sensual, and real horny. But sometimes no matter how I try or ask him to... he never seems to get horny. - now I realized he was probably taken care well of by his wife. They probably do it everyday or every other day. But he still do whatever I asked. It was very risky... but there were times that he gets so horny he had to do it in CR while in office but couldn't cum. He went home and I asked him to do it then. Pretty sure his office mates noticed. But yeah, if I told him I want to see his body he will do it even if he's in office. It was scary bcoz I am pretty sure everyone had an idea of what he was doing. I really wish he didn't lie to me. I still hated him. I was a confident woman. But ended up being insecure. Edited April 1, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Author lolita888 Posted March 29, 2019 Author Share Posted March 29, 2019 (edited) It's been 3 months since I discovered that my "supposedly" fiance, was actually a married man. And it's been 2 months since we started working together again. I honestly thought I will be fine. I made prepared myself to control my emotions and just think of my job and family who needs me. I was fine at first and I was happy with that but as time goes on, I am slowly getting tired, frustrated, depressed and emotionally drained. It still hurts to see him. I really do hate him for what he did. Still think it's scary how much he can lie and how good he is at lying. I am getting annoyed at him for trying and trying to get closer to me again. I am just glad that I do not really have any plan to become a real OW. But still, because of that, it's like my wounds never get to heal. Anyways it's amazing how for some reason I am slowly seeing "new" sides of him that I felt like I never saw before (or probably ignored). I thought he was scary but is it possible that he is a sociopath or have some mental illness? His wife never noticed? He can be very grumpy. I knew he was moody (hot and cold) but now I know he can be very grumpy (even to his family). He was comically funny. He makes funny faces and super hyper. I am not sure if he was like that before. I guess he is no longer stress that's why. He do think highly of himself. I thought he was just lonely sad man. But seeing him now and hearing what he's saying. It seem that he feel that he is better than others in a way that they often see their mistakes but never saw his. He seems to crave for approval or praises. He often talks on how good he is at doing things and knows a lot of house hold stuff to do(this is true though). He told me he was a good cook (but now I know his wife cooks for him). He is not as lonely and bored as I used to think. His family is happy. They have lots of fun times together (especially with grandchildren) or maybe his family is now making an effort for him. He likes to "show good sides" on his family -especially wife and daughter. As if he is a perfect husband and father but actually have this secret sides. He can be very scary. I saw his face darkened when angry but never do anything about it of never voiced out his anger. He was like a little kid when he was angry with one his coworkers. Instead of facing him off, having an argument, or voice it out. He do stupid things like trying to annoy him by scratching the wooden walls to irritate the said coworker. The coworker was man enough to call him coward for doing that. But it didn't stopped him. Seeing him do that makes me thing he looks like a crazy man. He likes to bragged. He likes bragging about his properties (which really makes me feel bad for myself) not sure if he was bragging to make me feel bad or jealous or regret but it made me feel bad about myself. He doesn't have lots of friends. He is only interacting with them because he needs to. He seems to have a loving wife and happy family. But then again, he could look at me in the eyes and tell me he loves me. He made a lot of future plans. But now I think those were plans that he and his wife is planning to do. PS> Not really sure what I wanted this thread to be about. I guess I was just tired and annoyed and only wanted to list his annoying sides. lol Edited March 29, 2019 by lolita888 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 It's very difficult to actually diagnose someone if you're not well trained in it - it's a specialized skill even within the MH industry. If I had to guess, and it's completely only a guess, based what you're saying probably yes he has some sociopathic traits. To me it sounds like he might be a covert narcissist. (You can do some internet research on that if you like.) Of course, I could totally be wrong. He might just be a plain old ***hole, maybe with a few sociopathic or narcissist traits. Many people have at least a few sociopathic and/or narcissist traits. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 He could be a narcissist or a sociopath. Remember, with narcissism, it's a scale from not bad to very bad to the point of being about as bad as a sociopath. One sign of a narcissist, they cannot ever admit they're wrong or apologize. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lolita888 Posted March 30, 2019 Author Share Posted March 30, 2019 (edited) I really wish I didn't get involve with him and noticed the signs early on. It just made me fee unwanted and undesirable but then later on felt happy and wanted and loved. The push and pull game he played was the hardest part. I didn't know it then. I thought that maybe there was just something wrong with him or at least with me. I ended up wanting to feel loved and by making demands ( no matter how ridiculous they sound) and him doing it was one of the things that made me feel loved then. My IC even wondered if it was sort of like a DomxSub kind of relationship -That I am not really sure of. I just felt better when I see that he will do whatever I ask just to please me. I have read threads on here too. A lot of OW ended up staying in the A and enduring the stress of the A and the way their MM treated them for some reason. Although I didn't know he was an MM during those times. For some reason I ended up staying and addicted to him. It is all gone now though. I just do not really think I could get involve with him knowing he is a MM. But remembering everything he did. Everything I did. Only to find out that he was just playing around and lying makes me really angry, especially every time I have to see his face at work. Edited April 1, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Clean up deleted post;- fixed spacing ~W Link to post Share on other sites
MissJenniferX Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 Oh, come on. Didn't you notice that you weren't allowed to hang out at his house all this time? Sounds like you were ignoring one big huge red flag. He's nothing but a big elaborate cheater. He's leading a double life, but you should have known this already. How can you be engaged and not be staying at his house a lot and leave your toothbrush there? Dump this turkey. I was in my ex's house when the wife was gone....doesn't always mean a thing. Look, I can't say if he's a sociopath, they do more than just cheat and lie, although he might be one of the cluster B's. He lied. He's a jerk! I'd tell his wife and walk off. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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