thefooloftheyear Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 Truth is, most men are cowards when it comes to ending relationships. . I don't know that its so much about cowardice...Men are programmed from a very early age not to hurt girls/women...As a result, these things become very difficult for many guys, especially when its a case of just not wanting to be with the other person, not because they wronged you or anything... Its why a lot of guys ghost as well. If you don't hear the cries and drama, then it makes it less impactful for the guy.. TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 Interesting responses, thanks. I guess as in most things I'll never really know what was in his head or what his motivation was. You know, even sociopaths know the correct way to act . They know they're different and many become charmers and con artists to function and get what they want. Narcissists are capable of doing the same, but they seem unmotivated to do so with people close to them who they can bully instead. They find someone who'll just take it. They're sick. They're broken. You can't fix them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FMW Posted January 27, 2019 Author Share Posted January 27, 2019 Just to clarify, the comments came at different points well before he ended the relationship, not during an actual breakup. So he was signaling his intent all along. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 Just to clarify, the comments came at different points well before he ended the relationship, not during an actual breakup. So he was signaling his intent all along. Or did he have very low self esteem, or was he trying to boost your ego at his own expense... These comments said during a relationship may have a different meaning, from the assumed "Its not you it's me" kind of a thing said at the end Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 In my case, he did not want out of the relationship at all; in no way, shape or form. Why would he want or need that, when, for him, it was basically his ideal situation ... .as long as he could just keep not having to make any efforts, and not take, or be given, any proper responsibility. Actually some people, a lot of people can be freaked out with really good treatment ... and they know they aren't going to reciprocate ... and they know that getting treated well eventually comes with the requirement to treat the other person well ... So they do the "you can do better" move. That move is not a criticism of the other partner--it's a retreat from intimacy and closeness. A lot of people are afraid of closeness--Lord knows I was when I was younger--though I couldn't have put it in those words. Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 When someone tells you, "You can do better than me," they're telling you the truth. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gretchen12 Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 In hindsight do you think it's true? I think sometimes it means he feels you are with him just to have a boyfriend so he's saying you're just settling for him. Maybe you really weren't that crazy about him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FMW Posted January 28, 2019 Author Share Posted January 28, 2019 Gretchen, your comment was kind of thought provoking. He did ask me why I loved him and at the time it took me by surprise and I didn't really answer him. I believe it's very possible he wasn't sure about why I was with him, I'm not sure if it was his own insecurity or something about me that made him doubt me in that way. It may have some part in why he ended the relationship. Bottom line I think he just always knew he wasn't going to stay with me. As far as was it true that I could do better? Inasmuch as he dumped me, I would say yes Link to post Share on other sites
I'veseenbetterlol Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 I had someone say that to me several times over a relationship that eventually was ended, by him. It's been some time ago, but it still pops into my head at times. Have any of you ever used that line (particularly men), and if so was it simply a way to let someone down easy when you weren't really into them? I've never used this line to reject someone because I think that line leaves the door open. I've had several guys says this to and I know this was a way of rejecting me. Link to post Share on other sites
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