heavy__123 Posted January 26, 2019 Share Posted January 26, 2019 (edited) Ill try to keep this as brief and concise as possible: Backstory: Been dating this girl coming up to a year now, she lives about 70 miles away so we keep in touch everyday via video call and spend 2-3 days together every couple of weeks. She's an incredible girl, smart and loving. We've been on holiday together twice, spending a week at a time and feel like i could spend the rest of my life with her. We enjoy each others company and have a laugh together all the time. Problems in the relationship: Her mum has not been accepting of our relationship when she found out which nearly broke us up. After some talking with her she came back round to the idea of dating. Her mum realising her daughter feels strongly for me invited me round to their house to meet for the first time. Wasn't the warmest of welcomes and i was fired with 21 questions mostly centered around finding if i was a good quality match and provider for her daughter. Dad was more laid back and nicer and has the attitude that if his daughters happy he is. The only reason i can fathom that her mum is not for our relationship is because i'm not a doctor or accountant, classic narrow minded Indian mentality of a good match for their daughter. I'm by no means a bum and run my own photography business which is doing very well but an unconventional profession for an Indian. Few months later my girlfriends family had a get together. Her relatives were also concerned for her that this relationship was not a good match. Her uncle even joked with her mum that I looked like a taxi driver. She later told me this which was upsetting (i thought to myself why would you even tell me something like this) we had a disagreement about it as she was way out of line with her comments and i ended up saying i deserve better than this and put the phone down. She then proceeded to call and text for 4 days saying she was sorry and we ended up getting back together last month. need perspective on: This month we just went on holiday together and had a lovely time there. She got in a mood a couple of times about trivial matters which i brushed off and she was back to her lovely self in 5-10mins. On the way back as we were departing for our flight she was being moody as she felt she was doing everything ie handling the passports etc. I had luggage in both hands and she only in the one. I tied my jacket to her roller case i feel she didn't see it from my perspective that my hands were full and became moody. We then went to eat to a restaurant which we ate at as they catered for my allergy and she didn't enjoy the food there. I could tell she was being off with me so i asked her "whats wrong why are you in a mood" to which she replied "im just uncomfortable and i'm carry everything and i'm handling the passports, the burger wasn't nice either" to which i got a little angry about and i responded with "your f***kin pissing me off now, this is too much don't take it out on me because you didn't enjoy your burger" In hindsight i should have stayed calmer and not swore i just lost it a little as i was very annoyed at this point with her recent mood swings (shes never been like this before in our relationship) We boarded the plane to which she gave me the slient treatment and sobbed her eyes out. I tried comforting her about 30 mins into the journey she stopped sobbing but replied with "my ex was so nice, he was such a gentleman" this really hurt me and i just stopped consoling her at this point and the rest of the 3 hour flight she went to sleep. After we departed the plane i tried having a conversation with her but she was just being really off with me, things got a little heated as i was upset about her comment and we left on bad terms. Ive tried calling her after this incident but her whole vibe to the conversation was that we were not right for each other and that right now she feels she needs time and she's not sure if she wants to continue this relationship. The next day she text me saying she still loves me and cares for me and that she feels things have ended on bad terms with accusations on both ends that have left us both hurting. She then proceeded to text that if this is the end of our relationship then she wishes me well which confused me as its not what i want but what she has been alluding to. This is the first argument we've ever had in the whole year we've spent together. I feel that we should be able to speak about this, i made a mistake raising my voice and swearing but i feel like she was no saint either with her comments and mood. Ive messaged her twice over the course of a week saying that i miss her and i regret raising my voice and that i was sorry but i've not heard back from her its been 3 days since my last message. I just don't understand how you can spend a whole year with someone and enjoy so much time together and then split up over one disagreement. Am i wrong, i would appreciate your points of view and how you would suggest moving forward as i really love this girl Edited January 26, 2019 by heavy__123 Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted January 26, 2019 Share Posted January 26, 2019 You're wrong. It wasn't the one incident where you raised your voice. In fact that probably had nothing to do with it whatsoever. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted January 26, 2019 Share Posted January 26, 2019 Never chase. You apologized. Leave it alone. It’s her family. You can’t fix this. Only she can. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 26, 2019 Share Posted January 26, 2019 Look, her relatives are sabotaging you by pumping up her ego and worth and making her believe she is some precious jewel. And that's because they are basically wanting to sell her to the highest bidder for their own benefit. It's hard to swim against that type of current. She sounds like a spoiled brat about that trip and the hamburger. No, you shouldn't have been calmer. She had it coming! You call people out when they're being jerks, and she was being a jerk. You analyzed it all and broke it down and you were still doing more than her and that wasn't good enough ----because her relatives brainwashed her into thinking her future husband should be rich as a doctor and serve her like a butler. Run! Unless she comes down to earth and sets her foot down with her parents and gets real, just run! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Darren87 Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 The others have already said it, however I will say it as well to add a bit more weight to it: DO NOT CONTACT HER. Go into no contact and stay there. There are videos online explaining the no contact rule, watch a few of them for support. There is no point messaging her again. If she didn’t respond to your last messages why would she suddenly decide to respond to a new one? Give her space. Link to post Share on other sites
Occitanie Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 Stop apologising for things you haven’t done. If she makes a tantrum tell her to get in touch when she’s calmed down. You need to stand up for yourself and not just let her walk over you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author heavy__123 Posted January 27, 2019 Author Share Posted January 27, 2019 Thanks for all the replies guys, its left me really confused doubting myself. Our relationship has been lovely so far apart from this hiccup and now not heard from her for a week. It really is disheartening. Link to post Share on other sites
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