myeviltwin Posted May 30, 2001 Share Posted May 30, 2001 I hope someone out there can help me. I am married--have been for 9 years with 2 small children. I love my husband,but I am no longer attracted to him. I don't feel any passionate feelings for him. He does not know how I feel. I can't tell him because I know it will hurt him deeply. I just pretend...This sounds strange, but I do enjoy the sex once I start. I think it's because it's a physical need. He is not expressive emotionally and can be quite controlling of my life. I feel like I'm not getting what I need from him emotionally. I am extremely attracted to a coworker. I am tempted to start something with him. What should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Ed Posted May 30, 2001 Share Posted May 30, 2001 DO NOT CHEAT ON HIM! You know there are things missing (and things there that shouldn't be there) in your marriage and your relationship with your husband. My advice is to try and overcome these problems, possibly with the help of a counselor. If the problems cannot be solved following an appropriate amount of time and effort from BOTH you and your husband, then you may need to consider getting a divorce and looking for someone who can demonstrate more respect toward you and your needs. I don't think having an affair with another man will help things one bit. In fact, it will most likely just complicate the matter further. If you can find time to have an affair, then you can find time to see a marriage counselor. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 30, 2001 Share Posted May 30, 2001 You need to come clean with your husband and let him know exactly how you feel. Yes, it may cause a lot of problems but you need to deal with them sooner or later. Your children deserve to grow up in a home with parents who adore each other. It takes a great deal of energy to put on the act you have been doing with your husband and even more energy to have an affair while taking care of a husband and two small children. If counselling cannot help your situation, work out something...a divorce, a separation, or something of that sort so you can pursue fulfillment of your needs in a relationship with a clear conscience. If you have an affair at work, I promise with big mouths the way they are it will get back to your husband...and the pain of that will be far greater than if you just sit with him and let him know how you feel. Sit with him and talk BEFORE you do anything about an affair. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 30, 2001 Share Posted May 30, 2001 Ed: You said it in short, concise verbage. And you are right on every count. Let's hope she takes your advice. Link to post Share on other sites
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