moonstar Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 Like most people i am looking for something serious and something that will last. I am 29 with 2 teenage sons aged 16 under my care who will be going to university this September. Will turn 30 this summer and my life will change tremendously as the boys will leave home. I want to start dating again but my experience has taught me that even those women who accept my boys dont last long with me. Every relationship generally ends with the lady saying you are a good guy but you seem distant, not that into me, busy, distracted. I am quiet guy not socially awkward but very reserved prefer to keep to myself. I also don't drink and i have never been to a bar/club/party/rave those places aren't my scene. I am into bodybuilding spend my spare time in the gym which hasnt helped with meeting women. need some advice going forward Link to post Share on other sites
Garcon1986 Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 Welcome to LS! For the meeting women thing - you will have to change yourself a little bit to have intersecting interests; if you only go to the gym you will only get the tiny percentage of women out to look for a date in the gym. You will have to modify your schedule to go to social events that you enjoy that also contain women. For the commentary that you seem distant - it is worthwhile examining what specific behaviors you exhibited that sounded distant. The common factor is you - if multiple women said the same thing, you need to check what aspects of your personality are distant, and fix that problem. Women need more emotion, expression of love, and actions that demonstrate love - than you think. I would take my time and learn what those things are. Most women's expectations of love are like bringing up a plant - they need constant work. If your future dating prospect is uncomfortable with your boys, I would start with that information early - so you don't create any distorted expectations. Let them know so the expectations are equivalent with reality. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 how's your money situation? do you have enough money to wine and dine single women? do you have a nice car? is all your money going to your 2 teenagers and college? Link to post Share on other sites
Garcon1986 Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 And how did you manage to bring up children at the age of 13? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 And how did you manage to bring up children at the age of 13? apparently the age of the kids' mother must be higher. lots of 13 year old boys could probably impregnate a woman Link to post Share on other sites
Author moonstar Posted January 27, 2019 Author Share Posted January 27, 2019 And how did you manage to bring up children at the age of 13? Mom and dad helped a lot......it what it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author moonstar Posted January 27, 2019 Author Share Posted January 27, 2019 how's your money situation? do you have enough money to wine and dine single women? do you have a nice car? is all your money going to your 2 teenagers and college? Money is ok, wine and dine yh to a certain limit no fancy NYC restaurants I don't drive on the island but we have a Dhow and in Costa we have landcruiser. Their university fees and costs are all paid for. June onwards they won't be a financial responsibility Link to post Share on other sites
I'veseenbetterlol Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 I ran into that issues quite a few times and TBH I think you just need to keep on dating. Avoid woman who move too fast as this burns out pretty quickly. Don't have any expectations when dating. Also talk to lots of women when dating (not saying sex, unless you want it), this way you don't get super attached. Continue talking to/dating several women until you become exclusive, this makes it so you don't close your doors for someone who won't commit. Link to post Share on other sites
Curiousroxy86 Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 Op can you give details on why they say you seem busy distant distracted? Can you got into details on your dating style. how many times a week you spend with exes? Do you talk on the phone in between seeing them at all? Just text? Or not at all? When y'all were together are you the affectionate type? Link to post Share on other sites
Author moonstar Posted January 28, 2019 Author Share Posted January 28, 2019 Op can you give details on why they say you seem busy distant distracted? Can you got into details on your dating style. how many times a week you spend with exes? Do you talk on the phone in between seeing them at all? Just text? Or not at all? When y'all were together are you the affectionate type? Most of my dating experience has been dating aid workers in Zanzibar. I am never in Brussels long enough to meet people , we just visit the in laws (kids grandparents). In Costa Rica it has never really been much more than flings with some local girl during my holidays. I am contractor so i usually go where the job takes me and this doesn't leave much for romantic encounters. Dating style hmm women usually come to me when i am at work . Very rarely have i actively pursued a relationship or tried online dating. I am very black or white type of guy, I either like you or i don't . Everything depends on where i am and how busy the job is . If i have time i might text them once or twice in a day. I rarely call if it all and i am definitely not the affectionate type. Link to post Share on other sites
Author moonstar Posted February 2, 2019 Author Share Posted February 2, 2019 With the boys leaving home , I want to start dating again preferably with someone who doesn't want kids. Link to post Share on other sites
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