Realitysux Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 Today I was at a job I hated and have been settling career wise because of these excuses such as my appearance, my wardrobe, I'm not smart enough, etc.. I have been taking the worst jobs possible as if I've been hiding. Well, due to the lifestyle I have chosen, I've been a bit depressed lately and feeling isolated and lonley. That caused me to be a bit paranoid and I've been feeling pretty unsettled and scared lately. I am not going to get into details but things have been hard for a few years now. I moved here about 4 years ago and only now am I making some pretty good friends. I was talking to this guy at work and he opened my eyes and made me realize that I am wasting my time working these jobs and really need to get myself a real one. I am going to do that in the morning. I'm going to start. I was tempted to send an email to this guy explaining how I met someone whom I am interested in dating and whom would like to take me on a date. Then I asked myself why I felt the need to tell him and it hit me that I am still hiding from this person and his opinion of me. For the first time, it made me realize that there are things I have to resolve with in myself in order to lead a better life. For starters, I am obsessive. I can be obsessive which prevents balance. I am also afraid of being alone. I don't like to be alone and can't imagine the thought of driving in a car alone. I get scared thinking about being in isolated places and even have panick attacks. I need to be amongst a lot of people. Just the beginning of thinking out loud. I am not expecting any responses. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Realitysux Posted January 28, 2019 Author Share Posted January 28, 2019 (edited) It felt really nice to be in a position where a guy asked me out again. I've been out with guys but they usually just happened. This guy came in specifically to ask me out. I am also really confused if I like him or the situation where he asked me out. He has a good job, he's a nice person, in a similar situation as me and is decent looking. Edited January 28, 2019 by Realitysux Link to post Share on other sites
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