Author thr1986 Posted January 9, 2020 Author Share Posted January 9, 2020 When I spoke to her last night she said we could see each other Friday evening. But she sort of rushed off the phone and it felt a little like she might change her mind. Do you think she will stick with it? I’d like to at least see her one last time to talk Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted January 9, 2020 Share Posted January 9, 2020 Just now, thr1986 said: When I spoke to her last night she said we could see each other Friday evening. But she sort of rushed off the phone and it felt a little like she might change her mind. Do you think she will stick with it? I’d like to at least see her one last time to talk She was probably with that guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted January 9, 2020 Author Share Posted January 9, 2020 You think she was with that guy last night when I spoke to her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted January 9, 2020 Author Share Posted January 9, 2020 We talked on the phone for like an hour Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted January 9, 2020 Share Posted January 9, 2020 Just now, thr1986 said: You think she was with that guy last night when I spoke to her? Very likely. Just now, thr1986 said: We talked on the phone for like an hour He probably turned up, that's why she rushed off the phone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted January 9, 2020 Author Share Posted January 9, 2020 No I ended the conversation. Also I just called her. She was asleep and had to be up at 8. She answered. She was half asleep but I helped her wake up. I asked again about tomorrow she said ok. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted January 9, 2020 Author Share Posted January 9, 2020 Jtsw... I see you just joined December 20th. Your intuition is strange. Are you somehow linked to this whole thing? Are you in nyc? Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted January 9, 2020 Share Posted January 9, 2020 Just now, thr1986 said: Jtsw... I see you just joined December 20th. Your intuition is strange. Are you somehow linked to this whole thing? Are you in nyc? Nope. Just a woman who see's a man heading for major heartbreak because he's blinded by his feelings for a woman who is greatly manipulating him. I'm not the only one telling you this. Everyone here has pointed this out. Your own father has said the same as us. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted January 9, 2020 Author Share Posted January 9, 2020 You all are helping me tremendously. Seriously. You’ve gotten me through some uncertain feelings. She keeps saying she’s unsure. I’ll just tell her tomorrow that she can have the time she needs and we will see other people and if she wants to contact me she can if she changes her mind. Then I’ll just leave and will move on. how does that sound? Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted January 9, 2020 Share Posted January 9, 2020 (edited) 5 minutes ago, thr1986 said: You all are helping me tremendously. Seriously. You’ve gotten me through some uncertain feelings. She keeps saying she’s unsure. I’ll just tell her tomorrow that she can have the time she needs and we will see other people and if she wants to contact me she can if she changes her mind. Then I’ll just leave and will move on. how does that sound? It sounds like the start of the next 21 pages. If you want to leave her, there's no need to see her and this whole "she can have the time she needs and we will see other people and if she wants to contact me she can if she changes her mind" is just prolonging the insanity. Every minute you spend agonizing over this train wreck of a relationship is another minute where you are not moving forward to find a good woman with whom you could be happy the rest of your life. Edited January 9, 2020 by introverted1 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted January 9, 2020 Share Posted January 9, 2020 (edited) Just now, thr1986 said: You all are helping me tremendously. Seriously. You’ve gotten me through some uncertain feelings. She keeps saying she’s unsure. I’ll just tell her tomorrow that she can have the time she needs and we will see other people and if she wants to contact me she can if she changes her mind. Then I’ll just leave and will move on. how does that sound? Good for you. We're all on your side here thr1986. You are such a nice guy with a good heart and allot to offer the right woman. But i don't think she is the right woman. I'm confident she will hurt you and you don't deserve that. You deserve better than the way she is treating you. Edited January 9, 2020 by JTSW Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted January 9, 2020 Author Share Posted January 9, 2020 Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted January 9, 2020 Author Share Posted January 9, 2020 2 hours ago, JTSW said: Good for you. We're all on your side here thr1986. You are such a nice guy with a good heart and allot to offer the right woman. But i don't think she is the right woman. I'm confident she will hurt you and you don't deserve that. You deserve better than the way she is treating you the hard part is that I always jump to rationalizing things after I decide “ok, everyone is correct, she is a problem” I mean, I totally altered my life and schedule around her. I was home every evening at a specific time (sometimes leaving work early) so I could give her a shot - for a couple of months leading up to her embryo transfer. - there was one Saturday evening where I wasn’t going to be home in time because I wanted to see my friend that I hadn’t seen in a while and she guilted me so badly. She just made it seem like I was terrible because I wasn’t going to be able to give her the shot. She could easily give herself the shot or have a friend do it. It was hard- I felt like I did so much and the minute I did anything that she didn’t like she would emotionally make things difficult between us which would result in me asking her what’s wrong and then me trying to defend myself and explain myself. I guess if we were to get married this is what she would do to me with finances etc. she would want me to spend all my money on her IVF I’m sure because she’s going to continue to pursue it. Maybe that’s why she left her ex husband. She told me they “became petty” with one another. She has used that word “petty” with me when she would get angry that we were splitting costs of things in our relationship. I need to make sure I don’t stRt to rationalize these things again like I did before based on her explanations of things. She always has wonderful rational explanations. I’m actually wondering if she’s even seeing someone. Maybe she made it up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted January 9, 2020 Author Share Posted January 9, 2020 When she needed bloodwork done I would schedule it for her. I took us on a pricy vacation in our 3rd month of dating. I stayed with her every evening all year- even when she was moody and struggling with the hormones. I went to the doctor with her. I feel like I was a wonderful boyfriend. But now I’m just reduced to “you left me when I was hurting and needed you most” Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted January 9, 2020 Author Share Posted January 9, 2020 (edited) It just always felt like she was trying to make me feel like I was doing something wrong (when I don’t think I was). The more I think about it, maybe she was just trying to keep me from taking issue from the massive commitment she was “casually” asking of me. She would accuse me of cheating when I obviously wasn’t. I was always with he and/or available if she called me. She would accuse me of nickle and diming her when all we were doing was splitting general expenses as most you dating people do. It was all just ways for her to get me to give in to whatever she wanted out of me wasn’t it? those accusations likely translate to her being unfaithful and/or her wanting me to feel bad about splitting things so I would pay for more Edited January 9, 2020 by thr1986 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted January 9, 2020 Author Share Posted January 9, 2020 I remember one time we were at brunch on like the 5th day in a row of me paying for everything we did and all meals. And after we left I gently mentioned that she could get something here and there. And she immediately started saying that she thought I was shady with my cell phone, how I bring it with me from room to room or something like that and how I hold it when I use it. It was such a random complaint. I think she probably just said that to distract me from the polite concern I had about how she wouldn’t pay for anything and it made me feel weird Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted January 9, 2020 Share Posted January 9, 2020 You keep believing what she says as if it’s the truth. its not. That’s what you don’t get. This woman isn’t honest. Have you seen in writing whether or not she paid of $80k in debt this year? Have you proof that SHE paid that? If not, who paid it for her? She may still have that debt. Stop believing what she says. She is a user. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted January 9, 2020 Author Share Posted January 9, 2020 no proof. She showed me her balance a couple of times and it was getting low (single digit k’s). I believe more that she did pay it off but no I don’t know where the money came from. She could be getting it in Alimony from her ex husband. When they divorced I’m not sure she was really earning an income. She was doing her own nonprofit work. Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted January 9, 2020 Share Posted January 9, 2020 Sounds like you have woken up a little to what this woman is really doing. She's trying to break you by making you feel guilty when you haven't done anything wrong. She constantly accused you of things you weren't doing. She distrusts you for no reason. By what you've said, she honestly sounds awful. Horribly manipulative. There are women out there who don't treat men as badly as she does. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted January 9, 2020 Author Share Posted January 9, 2020 The cheating accusations I believe came because I have a close friend who Cheats often and she knew he did. So, maybe she thought I did also because of that. she also complained that I didn’t post enough photos of her and I on social media. Not as many as she did. She’s been accusing me of “hiding her” and not being proud of her. It just always felt like she wants putting me in a spot that I had to convince her of my way out of. If that makes sense? today she sent me a message complaining that She felt it wasn’t fair that I previously had raised concern that she was married and divorced in the past as if it was a bad thing. I may have implied that because that was a feeling that I had. But Again its just another thing she’s coming at me about that I did wrong or that wasn’t fair to her Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted January 9, 2020 Share Posted January 9, 2020 Know this... You have done nothing wrong. Nothing. You've been good to her. You've been loving and complete gentleman to her. The way she's treating you is not right. She's trying to break you so will become completely vulnerable and do whatever she wants. She's piling on guilt by complaining that everything you say and do is wrong. Please don't pursue a future with this woman. You deserve to be happy and you won't be happy with her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 9, 2020 Share Posted January 9, 2020 (edited) The stuff you are writing now are the kind of things which would send any sane man running for the hills. Tell us again why you want to give her another chance. I also disagree that you've done nothing wrong. What you did wrong was constantly being at her beck and call, forgoing other parts of your life, handing over cash.....all without boundaries. The 'perfect boyfriend' has boundaries and good women respect these boundaries. You got stung because you were a doormat. Edited January 9, 2020 by basil67 4 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 thr1986, this woman is very unhappy with herself and she's projecting it onto you through criticism. It's possible that she feels having a child will solve her problem of unhappiness. In the long run, though, it would make her unhappier than she is now because a mom gives sacrificially to a baby and to a child, pretty much for a long time. From all you've written she seems more selfish than sacrificial. Anyway, though, she dislikes herself but, as I said, takes it out on you by criticizing you; finding fault with you. Sounds as if she's a miserable person to me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 She’s definitely trying to criticize you by breaking you down and making you second guess yourself. Love doesn’t look like that. She’s actually being really cruel to you and you are taking her crap. Being her doormat isn’t in your best interest. why don’t you try dating someone new who actually treats you right? Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 16 hours ago, thr1986 said: When I spoke to her last night she said we could see each other Friday evening. But she sort of rushed off the phone and it felt a little like she might change her mind. Do you think she will stick with it? I’d like to at least see her one last time to talk I’d tell her you’re busy. Then be busy. do not give her any info about what you may have planned. Or as a second choice you’ve changed your mind about seeing her again. she takes advantage of you because you’ve been weak. read no more mr nice guy.😀 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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