preraph Posted January 27, 2020 Share Posted January 27, 2020 (edited) You need to keep your condom on, because she's such a liar that she may not even be infertile and is just telling you that so you'll impregnate her and have to pay for it! Edited January 27, 2020 by preraph 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted January 27, 2020 Share Posted January 27, 2020 1 hour ago, thr1986 said: Maybe I’ve done a poor job at explaining this. She’s not going to have me sign anything to trick me into anything You are already extremely guilible when it comes to her. You can't say she won't trick you, because you don't know that. 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted January 27, 2020 Share Posted January 27, 2020 4 hours ago, thr1986 said: And yes she’s seeing someone else because we have been broken up. She just asked me to get back together on Friday night and said she’s ending it with the other guy today. So she has cheated on 2 guys. Her ex husband and now she has cheated on this guy with you. Then you tell me she is mad at you for making her end it with him. You make every excuse under the sun for her, but it doesn't take away from what she really is. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted January 27, 2020 Share Posted January 27, 2020 Haha she is every psycho chick stereotype in the book... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted January 27, 2020 Share Posted January 27, 2020 On 1/10/2020 at 8:26 AM, thr1986 said: Will I find a love again that is as exciting and optimistic as this one felt? i wish she could just be a reasonable partner. Her parents have been married for 40 years. The example she grew up with is just wonderful love. I have met them. I don’t understand this. Who gets to be happy with this woman? I wish I could figure out how to make it work What is OPTIMISTIC about this relationship???!!!! 2 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted February 3, 2020 Author Share Posted February 3, 2020 On 1/27/2020 at 6:55 PM, Versacehottie said: What is OPTIMISTIC about this relationship???!!!! That she does really love me the way she’s explained and that I’ll have a happy life filled with love Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted February 3, 2020 Share Posted February 3, 2020 (edited) 26 minutes ago, thr1986 said: That she does really love me the way she’s explained and that I’ll have a happy life filled with love I'll bet her parents relationship didn't start out like yours though, to make it 40 years it will be based on mutual respect Edited February 3, 2020 by Art_Critic 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted February 3, 2020 Share Posted February 3, 2020 6 hours ago, thr1986 said: That she does really love me the way she’s explained and that I’ll have a happy life filled with love But you are already skeptical. You told me she takes her phone to the shower with her, never leaves it alone with you. Making you wonder if she's still talking to the other guy. Just now, S2B said: you’re delusional about what love is... and what a happy life can look like. I completely agree with this. You are looking at things through rose tinted glasses. Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted February 3, 2020 Share Posted February 3, 2020 6 hours ago, thr1986 said: That she does really love me the way she’s explained and that I’ll have a happy life filled with love Honestly, I do feel that this mess you are in is greatly is also a result of your own actions/state of mind. Delusional? Certainly an unhealthy view of what a relationship ought to be based on your testimony within this thread. Either that or this thread is some trolling exercise of absurdity and you are enjoying how total strangers are responding to your back and forth of insaneness. Not sure what is going on here... Good luck. 🤔🙄 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted February 3, 2020 Share Posted February 3, 2020 I still think you are confusing the highs and lows of the break-up/make-up cycle you've established with actual feelings of love. Love is calm. Love doesn't worry what one's partner is doing when the partner is out of sight. Love doesn't need 24/7 contact to feel secure. Love is not on/off, happy/sad, up/down, depressed/elated. Love does not produce anxiety. Love does not produce anxiety (yes, listing this one twice because it needs to sink in for you). And, at some level, you know this, or there wouldn't be 25 pages of discussion about this oh-so-wonderful relationship, if it was actually that. If you can't walk away from this woman (and it's pretty clear you cannot), then at least get yourself an impartial therapist so you can bring clarity to your own mind 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 3, 2020 Share Posted February 3, 2020 On 1/27/2020 at 12:19 PM, thr1986 said: She’s not going to have me sign anything to trick me into anything Famous last words... I agree with preraph, wear a condom. Always. But better yet, don’t sleep with the woman. Abstinence is the best protection. What, I wonder, would this woman have to do for you to actually break up with her and leave her behind? 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Twizzlestick Posted February 4, 2020 Share Posted February 4, 2020 (edited) You are standing on a cliff face. You’re about to trash your life. It’s that serious. Do NOT roll in with this “person”. Ever since you’ve been dating every time she speaks to you “baby this “baby that” “baby baby baby baby”, “I want you on this certificate, that bit of paperwork”. You've been played like a fat salmon. Emotionally manipulated. She WILL get pregnant if you stay with her, by hook or crook and emotional torture. The evidence is startling. You will break. You already have by going back. That’s part one of her scheme. You, broken spirited and manipulated with fall for some lie, sign away a contract, birth certificate and then you’ll be paying for this for the rest of your life, emotionally and financially. Drained and watch this “darling” morph into a viper that detests you and wants to suck you dry for all you’ve got with the might of the legal system watching over the shoulder. This sounds dramatic but I’ve seen it at work. You would not believe. There’s actually people I know of, factually who’ve had people prick holes in condoms, black mail them, all to get a baby and the finances. It’s all but destroyed a few. There should be laws against it. It makes me sick. Maybe there is in some countries Its like gold fever. Never underestimate the greed, utter self obsession and ability to wring out and reduce another human to a husk “some” people have in their persuit of something selfish. This isn’t a rele you can walk away from with solely hurt. This is a situation that could stuff you up. Do yourself a favour, look in the mirror and ask “do I want to risk irreversibly changing the direction of my life?” Then end it. I say this because I don’t want you to regret it. You were not born onto this planet owing this individual a baby. God, the universe, physics or whatever your beliefs had better plans for you as a person other than a sacrificial lamb. You’re not a tool to be used. Value yourself and walk.. Theres real, balanced women out there who love you first and decide to have a baby with you because they love you and the idea comes out of their feelings for you. Get busy finding one of those My tuppenth Edited February 4, 2020 by Twizzlestick 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted March 6, 2020 Author Share Posted March 6, 2020 (edited) Update: her and I got back together in January. I just broke up with her again. It just seems like we butt heads on everything. She gets passive aggressive. If I have a feeling about something she’s doing or say I don’t like it, she never considers my feeling she just challenges me or tells me how my feeling is unwarranted. she’s going to transfer an embryo again later this year. She hasn’t asked me to be involved in any way. But, I’ll be raising someone else’s child if the embryo transfer works. I have been ok with that, but what if I’m not? She would never even consider changing her mind. If we get married, she won’t take my name. She said she would consider hyphenating her name if I wanted her to. It just seems like she doesn’t wNt to change anything about how she feels. Everything has to happen how she wants it to Edited March 6, 2020 by thr1986 Link to post Share on other sites
Kitty Tantrum Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 You're delusional if you think this is going to end any way but badly for you. Full stop. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 You did the right thing ending it for good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted March 6, 2020 Author Share Posted March 6, 2020 48 minutes ago, Kitty Tantrum said: You're delusional if you think this is going to end any way but badly for you. Full stop. What do you mean?? I broke up with her. It’s over 2 Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 15 minutes ago, thr1986 said: What do you mean?? I broke up with her. It’s over Best thing I've read all day! Now you are free to find someone worthy of your attention! Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted March 7, 2020 Author Share Posted March 7, 2020 15 hours ago, vla1120 said: Best thing I've read all day! Now you are free to find someone worthy of your attention! Thank you. I need to learn to feel like my attention is worthy of having and not just feel like it’s for anyone who is willing to accept it 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Fletch Lives Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 (edited) I only read the opening post, but generally: Oh boy. It's unfortunate but sometimes women get into relationships with an agenda. One of the popular agendas is to have a baby. Let me tell you a story. A woman who wanted a baby, but had no husband, not even a boyfriend, went to a bar one night, and hooked up with a guy. She never saw the guy again after that night. She got pregnant, she got her baby. I feel bad because many women do have strong maternal instinct, and in this case, not only is the clock is ticking, but she's almost out of time. However, marriage based on things other than love is a bad idea. You need the power of love for the best chance of success. Normally you should wait 19 months to get that serious.......but her fast ticking clock is rushing things. You need 19 months to find out if she really loves you. People can be good actors and act like they love you for sometime - but harder to do long term. I don't like it. Edited March 7, 2020 by Fletch Lives 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted March 7, 2020 Author Share Posted March 7, 2020 2 hours ago, Fletch Lives said: I only read the opening post, but generally: Oh boy. It's unfortunate but sometimes women get into relationships with an agenda. One of the popular agendas is to have a baby. Let me tell you a story. A woman who wanted a baby, but had no husband, not even a boyfriend, went to a bar one night, and hooked up with a guy. She never saw the guy again after that night. She got pregnant, she got her baby. I feel bad because many women do have strong maternal instinct, and in this case, not only is the clock is ticking, but she's almost out of time. However, marriage based on things other than love is a bad idea. You need the power of love for the best chance of success. Normally you should wait 19 months to get that serious.......but her fast ticking clock is rushing things. You need 19 months to find out if she really loves you. People can be good actors and act like they love you for sometime - but harder to do long term. I don't like it. This is very logical and I agree with you. She shouldn’t have asked me to be biological or financially involved in her life in that way after knowing me for 4 months. It’s way too soon and probably an agenda. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kitty Tantrum Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 21 hours ago, thr1986 said: What do you mean?? I broke up with her. It’s over Whew, I somehow read it wrong! Don't go back!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted March 7, 2020 Author Share Posted March 7, 2020 I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I have no confidence and I let her walk all iver me for so long. I felt like she was cheating on me and had no respect for me. But she promised she never cheated. Just overall I feel horrible after this experience 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 Cheaters lie a lot. They prey on trust. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 She probably was. She was completely crazy,, dude. It’s normal to feel bad about all this. Bad relationships are hard. Breakups are hard. Are you still seeing your therapist? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 45 minutes ago, thr1986 said: I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I have no confidence and I let her walk all iver me for so long. I felt like she was cheating on me and had no respect for me. But she promised she never cheated. Just overall I feel horrible after this experience You can't beat yourself up about the past. Learn from this experience and be better going forward. In other words, JUST PUT IT BEHIND YOU and move ahead. 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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