Author thr1986 Posted March 7, 2020 Author Share Posted March 7, 2020 Yes I am still seeing my therapist. This girl is just so good at making me feel bad when I feel like I need to leave. She always makes me regret my decision when I have decided to leave in the past. She makes it out to seem like she was reasonable and willing to work on the relationship with me. But in practice, it always Felt like I have to give in to whatever she thinks or feels about a topic. If I don’t give them to her then she withdraws doesn’t give me attention ignores me and sort of emotional he punishes me and it drives me crazy and she knows that. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 (edited) On 2/18/2019 at 6:34 AM, thr1986 said: I don’t get why she feels like she needs to do that she's a therapist who knows how to manipulate weak minded people. She's trained to do that. She thinks that all she needs to do is manipulate you with the jealousy-bait of dangling the notion of other men in front of you and that will make you not only jump through her hoops, but ask her how high she wants you to jump. Edited March 7, 2020 by kendahke Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 Focus on yourself now. I hope you reach a point you can just stop communicating with her. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted March 7, 2020 Author Share Posted March 7, 2020 She’s just so good at making me feel like I’m making the wrong decision. Like yesterday when I broke up with her she kept saying that she’s not able to “compromise” with me on anything because I don’t tell her exactly what I need so she makes it my fault. when I think about it, that is sort of true- I don’t give her specifics on things I need from her but everything always feels difficult and manipulative with her Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted March 7, 2020 Author Share Posted March 7, 2020 For example: she recently told me that this summer she’s going to a beach resort to meet up with a friend who is a woman who has 3 children. So, my gf would be going there alone and staying in a room alone and also just spending some time with her friend who lives overseas with her three kids. I asked her if I could go with her and she said no. It just felt weird that she’s going to this resort and wouldnt let me come with her. Right? And she won’t compromise on Anything Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 You are your biggest problem. No contact is your best path 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted March 7, 2020 Author Share Posted March 7, 2020 24 minutes ago, Marc878 said: You are your biggest problem. No contact is your best path What do you mean that I am my biggest problem? Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 She’s not relationship material and manipulative but you won’t deal with reality. The only one keeping you in this is you. She has no control unless you allow it. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 Yes ... she is gaslighting you. Making you doubt your rationality is a number one tool of a manipulator . Just cut her off completely. She’s toxic and you’ll never be happy with her. No contact at all so you can heal from this 4 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 (edited) 3 hours ago, thr1986 said: What do you mean that I am my biggest problem? Re-read this entire thread. Your answer appears numerous times. Edited March 8, 2020 by kendahke 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kitty Tantrum Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 I guess what threw me is that you keep "IS"ing this woman, and you should have "WAS"ed her like yesterday. She should be strictly past tense. 3 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Pumaza Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 Wowww run. Its probally a other way of scamming. Lying sad storys, rushing you into things, then ask money. While the whole goal is to get money. Did she even show you prove about her medical issue, and that she really wirk as proffesional? You do know people cab lie right?, even about the most sick stuff. Even if its truth what she saying, you barelly know her. So investing this money and helping her with that issues only can make some sense if she is your wife. After knowing her for some years. Because she can ghost on you with the money now,and go buy a car,or use it to get a baby with another man. If she is a professional she sure knows she cant ask you to waste your hard working money already. And she sure git a good income herself if she a professional.And why get mad if you cant get so much money of someone you barelly know ??? The audacity.smh. Run! Dont waste a second. She is a scammer. Just for the fun ask her medical papers and to go to the doctor with her.😂😂😭🤔. Beside ,miracles happens.No need to rush to make a baby now in some unstable situations. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 On 3/7/2020 at 1:01 PM, Cookiesandough said: Are you still seeing your therapist? 18 hours ago, S2B said: These feelings come from somewhere... have your therapist go over your family of origin with you. 12 hours ago, S2B said: You also need a better therapist. IIRC, the "therapist" is a friend of the ex's, and has been enabling the relationship. THR - please find a new therapist, one with no ties to your ex, so you can begin to heal. 2 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
balletomane Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 You need to cut all contact with her. Until you do that, it isn't over, and you're adding to the problem. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 2 hours ago, introverted1 said: IIRC, the "therapist" is a friend of the ex's, and has been enabling the relationship. THR - please find a new therapist, one with no ties to your ex, so you can begin to heal. Wow. Weird. Yeah,... time for a new therapist. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted March 10, 2020 Author Share Posted March 10, 2020 It’s just crazy to me how I honestly can’t come to a feeling of total confidence that she was being calculated and trying to get me to marry her before she got herself pregnant via ivf. I even found a conversation on her phone with her mother taking about how they wanted me to propose before she has the medical procedure to transfer her embryo. How is it that I’m so unable to see this? Everyone in the world sees it including my family Link to post Share on other sites
scooby-philly Posted March 11, 2020 Share Posted March 11, 2020 Jesus. Man, if I ever feel bad about my situation I just need to come back to this thread. Over a year of this? Dude - MOVE THE F ON! GO NO CONTACT AND TELL IF SHE REACHES OUT AGAIN YOU"RE GETTING A RESTRAINING ORDER. I'm not going to do let this go to page 40 of responses by piling on more comments to what's already been shared with you for 13.5 months. Just never speak to her again in any form, block her, and move on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted March 13, 2020 Author Share Posted March 13, 2020 On 3/11/2020 at 1:01 PM, scooby-philly said: Jesus. Man, if I ever feel bad about my situation I just need to come back to this thread. Over a year of this? Dude - MOVE THE F ON! GO NO CONTACT AND TELL IF SHE REACHES OUT AGAIN YOU"RE GETTING A RESTRAINING ORDER. I'm not going to do let this go to page 40 of responses by piling on more comments to what's already been shared with you for 13.5 months. Just never speak to her again in any form, block her, and move on. I’ve gone no contact. It’s been a week (tomorrow). She texted me and asked me to return a Tupperware container she left at my apartment. She also sent me a long letter in the mail. When I got the letter, I didn’t read it. But I did respond to her text for the Tupperware and said I would send it to her and told her I got her letter but that I couldn’t read it. I said my heart is too tender. I’m not going to speak to her anymore 2 Link to post Share on other sites
balletomane Posted March 13, 2020 Share Posted March 13, 2020 Texting her and telling her your heart is tender is not only breaking no contact, it's encouraging her to keep talking to you. Emotional disclosures prolong conversation, they don't shut it down. Every time you speak to her or read something she sends you, the clock on no contact resets. You will not feel better that way. If you block her number, she can't text at all. 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted March 13, 2020 Share Posted March 13, 2020 5 hours ago, S2B said: Staying quiet IS a message! I agree. He should ignore any attempt she makes to contact him. 1 hour ago, balletomane said: Texting her and telling her your heart is tender is not only breaking no contact, it's encouraging her to keep talking to you. This is exactly what i told him. Link to post Share on other sites
scooby-philly Posted March 13, 2020 Share Posted March 13, 2020 10 hours ago, thr1986 said: I’ve gone no contact. It’s been a week (tomorrow). She texted me and asked me to return a Tupperware container she left at my apartment. She also sent me a long letter in the mail. When I got the letter, I didn’t read it. But I did respond to her text for the Tupperware and said I would send it to her and told her I got her letter but that I couldn’t read it. I said my heart is too tender. I’m not going to speak to her anymore But you did speak to her. Um...foolish a little? Block her on your phone. Delete and block her from all social media. Destroy or trash al pictures and other items you have around concerning her 1 Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted March 13, 2020 Share Posted March 13, 2020 Good grief - you broke NC over a tupperware? Block and delete. She can buy another tupperware. Unlike toilet paper, there are plenty available in stores. 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted March 13, 2020 Author Share Posted March 13, 2020 ive broken up and gotten back together with her 3 times now. Every time this happens. When we’re together just before we break up I feel like I must get out. Like she’s horrible and will lie to me (even though I have r ever caught her lieing to me) and like I can’t ever marry her because I’m I fear she would divorce me like she did her last husband and will blame me for everything like she did him and she will make me out to be the problem. But then when I leave her, I feel lonely and like I’ve lost this giant sense of confidence. I miss her apartment because we always stayed there. I miss her day to day interaction for the most part. I miss her telling me she loves me. I miss feeling like she loves me, etc. I start to forget the bad stuff. I forget that she asked me to create a baby with her and help pay for it at 3 months of knowing me etc 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted March 13, 2020 Author Share Posted March 13, 2020 I feel like if I walk over to her apartment and see her and she hugs me everything will be ok. I’m crying at home sad and feeling like I miss her. Then I start rationalizing things in my mind about why I left and wonder if I made a mistake again. The whole cycle is starting. I have to stop it Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted March 13, 2020 Share Posted March 13, 2020 (edited) 14 minutes ago, thr1986 said: I have to stop it And you need a better therapist who doesn't know her AND you NEED to take their advice as well as 27 pages of the advice a lot of people took time out of their busy day to compose and send to you. Stop volunteering for this treatment!!!! Edited March 13, 2020 by kendahke 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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