Pregs_Scared Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 I've recently found out that I'm pregnant and am currently 5 weeks. I have told my boyfriend, who I have been dating for a year and he is not exactly thrilled but is supporting me and has said he will stick by me whatever I decide. My boyfriend has a child that is 2 years old with another woman, this is obviously going to add a lot of additional stress to the situation. I feel resentful of this because he would like me to abort because he says he has already had an unplanned child and it has caused a lot of turmoil and pain going through a break up with a young baby, custody and general relationship difficulties with the mother of his child. They have had a very tough year and she does not like me at all. Because of the situation with his daughter, I also fear what other people will say. I always imagined my first pregnancy being something happy and that people would be so happy to hear about and we would all look forward to the arrival of the baby. Now I feel it is an unwanted child (mainly by my partner) that will be surrounded by scandal and gossip. This is my biggest concern. Please can you help. I know no one else can make the decision for me but I have so many things running through my mind. I have always though I was against abortion, not necessarily that I judged others more that I never thought it was something that I would choose. But now that I'm in this position I just don't know. I am 28 and my boyfriend is 36, so we are not too young and we would be able to financially support a child, so these aren't concerns. Thank you very much Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 he will stick by me whatever I decide. When you first saw the stick what was your thought on it.. was it happy or sad ? I don't understand a man's reaction that is whatever you decide I'll support you.. how about being effing happy about it.. With that reaction it is easy to see that he wants an abortion... What do you want ? BTW.. IMO if you have an abortion you need to dump the effing bum.. whatever you decide.. .. what a chump Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 Why would it be a scandal? Did he cheat on his baby mama with you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pregs_Scared Posted January 29, 2019 Author Share Posted January 29, 2019 I feel it would be a scandal because it was the second unplanned child he has had and his other little girl is only 2. So very closely spaced together Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 Who cares about "scandal" or what other people think. What do YOU think and want? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 Yes people are going to say he makes bad decisions impregnating 2 women he is not married to. He also isn't sure whether you are going to be the woman he ends up marrying and that is one reason he wants you to abort. You have to decide whether you want your baby bad enough to be a single mom. He of course will still have to pay you child support. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 Stuff what other people think. This is a decision between the 2 of you. Sure the pregnancy was unplanned and unexpected but that doesn't mean the baby will be unwanted or unloved. He may not be excited by the prospect of being a dad for the 2nd time but that doesn't make him a jerk. You've only been with him a year which is a relatively short time to have a kid. That reduces the chances of your relationship lasting. How would your life be if you have the baby and then split up with him? Would you be OK financially, emotionally, etc? How does he treat his other kid, is he a good supportive father, does he pay support on time, is there constant baby mama drama? This is a good indicator of how he would treat you and your baby if you were to split up. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 That doesn't really sound like a scandal to me. Yeah, maybe initially he'll get some comments about it, but it certainly would not be the first time this has happened to someone. I agree with WB....what do YOU want? Link to post Share on other sites
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