manfrombelow2 Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 There's one fundamental rule like this: "Men fall in love quickly. And women much slower." Men are visual creatures, so they tend to just fall in love with almost any woman who fits their eyes. Hence "men fall in love quickly." - That's just how they were designed to be. Women, however, don't "work" that way. They need much more time in order to gradually develop the required emotions for loving. In this sense, let's imagine a loading bar when you download something from the Internet to your computer. You must wait it to get from 0% to 100%. You just can't "force" the process. The same thing applies to women. Their emotions for you (the guys) need time to increase day by day. And when their "loading bar" finally reaches 100%, that's when they love you. So, back to the title of this topic: When inexperienced guys "CONFESS" (yuck!) their love to women, you have virtually turned women into vending machines, and their "confession" the coins. Based on that falsed mindset, they believe by putting the "coins" into the "vending machines", they will automatically receive the "soda" (love from the woman)? Come on guys. Women don't work that way. Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 I'm not so sure - although generally men aren't as in tune with their emotions as women are. My experience as a guy (a lot of this is hindsight) is that we fall in lust very quickly, but I certainly wouldn't call it love which also takes more time to develop. To a guy it feels a lot like love, but it's lacking in deeper emotional involvement. Although I've seen women fall in lust quickly too, but not as often. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 this is common knowledge, nothing new here 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 My experience as a guy (a lot of this is hindsight) is that we fall in lust very quickly, but I certainly wouldn't call it love which also takes more time to develop.At this very early part in the process the difference between love/lust is irrelevant. Slowing it down let's the guy think more clearly so that he doesn't think with the wrong head and get stupid. Although I've seen women fall in lust quickly too, but not as often.Yea, the CLINGERS. Slowing down the process weeds out the women that you should be staying away from anyway. It may also help a woman who is a clinger have a chance to back off, pace herself, and get her head straight (just like it does with the guy). Link to post Share on other sites
Author manfrombelow2 Posted January 30, 2019 Author Share Posted January 30, 2019 You'll be surprised with the real amount of guys who don't know this stuff. this is common knowledge, nothing new here Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 31, 2019 Share Posted January 31, 2019 (edited) I agree...but the sad truth is that you either have it or you don't Edited January 31, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author manfrombelow2 Posted January 31, 2019 Author Share Posted January 31, 2019 (edited) But you are able to learn. Edited January 31, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyM Posted February 2, 2019 Share Posted February 2, 2019 No one is buying love like soda, obviously. The analogy is weak but it might work for sex. Put enough money into the machine and some guys expect the best product in there, the jackpot. confessing love quickly to a new woman is not a good idea, and more likeky she will back away and flee. If she is taken already, it will end badly in my experience. Judy Collins sang long ago in" Both Sides Now"--if you love him don't let em know, don't give yourself away. Link to post Share on other sites
Only-yours Posted February 2, 2019 Share Posted February 2, 2019 There's one fundamental rule like this: "Men fall in love quickly. And women much slower." Men are visual creatures, so they tend to just fall in love with almost any woman who fits their eyes. Hence "men fall in love quickly." - That's just how they were designed to be. Yea, true. Women, however, don't "work" that way. They need much more time in order to gradually develop the required emotions for loving. In this sense, let's imagine a loading bar when you download something from the Internet to your computer. You must wait it to get from 0% to 100%. You just can't "force" the process. The same thing applies to women. Their emotions for you (the guys) need time to increase day by day. And when their "loading bar" finally reaches 100%, that's when they love you. This is false. There are times when the so-called "loading bar" reaches at 100%, yet the woman deceives you and divorces you. In the end she takes half of your bank balance, property, etc. So your analogy is flawed. So, back to the title of this topic: When inexperienced guys "CONFESS" (yuck!) their love to women, you have virtually turned women into vending machines, and their "confession" the coins. Based on that falsed mindset, they believe by putting the "coins" into the "vending machines", they will automatically receive the "soda" (love from the woman)? Come on guys. Women don't work that way. All I can do is post a quote by Esther Vilar from her book "The Polygamous Sex" here: “A man who wants to gain power over a woman must follow the example of women and condition his sex drive. If he succeeds in becoming as cold as she, she can no longer bait him with sex into the role of provider. At most she could offer herself as an equal sex partner, as dependent on him as he is on her. If men could abstain from sex at judicious intervals they might even succeed in normalizing the female sex drive - even make women desire them more than the other way around.” Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 2, 2019 Share Posted February 2, 2019 All I can do is post a quote by Esther Vilar from her book "The Polygamous Sex" here: “A man who wants to gain power over a woman must follow the example of women and condition his sex drive. If he succeeds in becoming as cold as she, she can no longer bait him with sex into the role of provider. At most she could offer herself as an equal sex partner, as dependent on him as he is on her. If men could abstain from sex at judicious intervals they might even succeed in normalizing the female sex drive - even make women desire them more than the other way around.” Bahahaha. Poor old Esther sounds like a bit of a cold fish. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 2, 2019 Share Posted February 2, 2019 Men don't fall in love instantly, they fall in lust. Women also fall in lust, but they want more than just sex when they do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Only-yours Posted February 3, 2019 Share Posted February 3, 2019 Bahahaha. Poor old Esther sounds like a bit of a cold fish. What makes you think she is a cold fish? You're saying she is a cold fish just because she spoke the truth? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 3, 2019 Share Posted February 3, 2019 What makes you think she is a cold fish? You're saying she is a cold fish just because she spoke the truth? She's speaking her perspective - not truth. When it comes to the sciences, truth and fact only has a place in mathematics. And yes, her perspective makes her a cold fish. And also hilarious in her extremism. (Most extremists in any direction are pretty funny in their ridiculousness) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted February 3, 2019 Share Posted February 3, 2019 What your on the internet telling a few million people what you think is now gospel for the other 7 billion out there , right , let me write it all down. You can speak for yourself man, but not for me or anyone else , man or woman . That'd be one of the most presumptuous and generalized pieces of , ahhh, l;ve come across in a long long time and l could blow it out of the water 50 ways without even getting warmed up. Everyone's different buddy , men and women, we're not all you. Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted February 3, 2019 Share Posted February 3, 2019 Bahahaha. Poor old Esther sounds like a bit of a cold fish.Just the title of the book had me raising an eyebrow at what kind of twisted perspective she might have. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted February 3, 2019 Share Posted February 3, 2019 What your on the internet telling a few million people what you think is now gospel for the other 7 billion out there , right , let me write it all down. You can speak for yourself man, but not for me or anyone else , man or woman . That'd be one of the most presumptuous and generalized pieces of , ahhh, l;ve come across in a long long time and l could blow it out of the water 50 ways without even getting warmed up. Everyone's different buddy , men and women, we're not all you.It isn't him and he didn't invent anything. It comes from books written by both modern authors and authors from generations ago. Everything said is common knowledge to anyone from past generations and for those today who take the time to get their truth from scientific psychological study, rather then their personal feelings and personal experiences tainted by personal preconceptions. Two or three generations ago the attitude of people reading that would be, "Big deal. We all know that. Why bother writing a book about it?". For far too many people today it is "shocking" and "unbelievable" because society is so screwed up and mislead that people can't recognize the truth when they see it. It is the root of what the majority of the "Forum Flame Wars" center around. You see the same thing in the Comment section of any of the "Dating Coaches" and such on YouTube. What you see in those YouTube Channels is about 25% people trying to learn and seek the truth and 75% people with failed dating lives who choose to be unteachable. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 3, 2019 Share Posted February 3, 2019 As I said earlier, only mathematics has truth. Science and Social Science doesn't have truth as different scientists can be given the same set of data and come away with different results depending on the type of analysis used. In regards to psychology, "Behavior is complex which is one major reason it is hard to get definitive answers. Results could change depending on how the research was conducted, which variables were measured, how the participants were recruited, how large the sample was, the context in which the study was done, and a whole host of other factors" https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/the-psychological-pundit/201810/can-you-handle-the-truth-about-research 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Only-yours Posted February 3, 2019 Share Posted February 3, 2019 She's speaking her perspective - not truth. When it comes to the sciences, truth and fact only has a place in mathematics. And yes, her perspective makes her a cold fish. And also hilarious in her extremism. (Most extremists in any direction are pretty funny in their ridiculousness) I don't think Esther Vilar made any ridiculous statement. What she said is actually what men should do. A man should withhold sex and intimacy in a relationship if a woman acts like a stupid person. Women are not entitled to sex or intimacy. A man has every right to withhold intimacy from a woman even if that woman is his wife. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 3, 2019 Share Posted February 3, 2019 A man has every right to withhold intimacy from a woman even if that woman is his wife. Does a woman have the same right to withhold intimacy from her husband? Link to post Share on other sites
littleblackheart Posted February 3, 2019 Share Posted February 3, 2019 (edited) As a sort of punishment, you mean? How is that healthy? Why would you want to stay in a relationship like this? It seems you're looking at a relationship in terms of a power-play and who has the upper hand, OP. Edited February 3, 2019 by littleblackheart 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Only-yours Posted February 3, 2019 Share Posted February 3, 2019 (edited) Does a woman have the same right to withhold intimacy from her husband? That's exactly what several women do. Have you ever heard about "sex strikes" or not? The problem is that when a man withholds intimacy from a woman, he is labelled as a jerk, impotent, manipulative, abusive, etc. On the contrary, a woman who withholds sex is considered "normal" and the problem is still the man in this situation. Have you ever read Esthar Vilar's book? She is the person who reveals these facts despite being a woman herself. Not surprisingly, she was criticized by people of her own gender. After analyzing all these facts I have decided to withhold affection, sex, and intimacy from my wife. I no longer view intimacy or sex as a way to bond. I just view it as a challenge where a woman challenges me, and I am ready to accept that challenge. Withholding sex makes me happy, and this is exactly what I am now. Call me a jerk, insane, or whatever you like. But I am like this and this is what makes me happy. Edited February 3, 2019 by Only-yours Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 3, 2019 Share Posted February 3, 2019 Simply announcing to somebody that you are not dating that you "love" them is unwelcome & violates traditional social norms. That is why such an announcement never works. It's out of left field & telegraphs that the person making the confession is socially clueless. If you like a person, you ask them on a date. That is the conventional way to begin a relationship. A date is merely a social construct. It's a specified time & activity where two people set aside time to get to know each other better. A date by itself is not a commitment, at least not one longer then the agreement to spend a few hours in the other person's presence. Save declarations of love for much later after you have gotten to know each other more. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted February 3, 2019 Share Posted February 3, 2019 In the time I’ve been reading here, I actually have begun to feel bad for the guys (especially) that need to cling to the words of these authors as though a fanatic religion. I’m sorry for what seems to be a major void of positive male role models that has left a vacuum in regards to knowing how to interact with women to the point that money is thrown at mediocre authors and coaches to “teach” common sense stuff. Or that the generalities are thought to be gospel that must be strictly adhered to in every interaction. When you read these coaches words, are you not capable of learning a broad lesson and then adapting that as suited? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted February 3, 2019 Share Posted February 3, 2019 This stuff cracks me up.... Women will say all types of things to guys..."Don't do this"..."Don't do that", "wait a while til they know you better".... Here's the reality... If they are into you ,they'll happily let you put a hot branding iron on their ass with your initials on it...If they aren't they'll turn you away at "hi, my name iz xyz".. This isn't that complicated.. TFY 3 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 3, 2019 Share Posted February 3, 2019 Does a woman have the same right to withhold intimacy from her husband? Anyone has the right to stop being intimate with anyone, and they surely must know change is coming once it reaches that point. Link to post Share on other sites
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