how to go about it?

[haas]

i've been dating my girlfriend for over a year now we have a lot of fun together however we seem to fight about stupid things quite often (almost every other week end )last six months

 

she has a stressful job and she sees a therapist and my situation is not the greatest right now either; i lost my job and i'm constantly thinking of her .

 

last time we fought it was very bad to the point where she packed everything she ever had in my apartment and left,

 

i did call and apologize .

 

i haven't seen her in almost month we do talk once a week over the phone but very superficial, she keeps saying that she needs all the times to think about things. She did tell our best friend that she didn't want to break up so i don't know what to do or say?

 

Yesterday I emailed her this very long letter w/ poem I wrote for her stating how much I was sorry that things had gotten bad and part of it was my fault and that I 'm willing to change and adjust and how much she count in my life and how much I've been missing her but she hasn't responded back .

 

her presence in my life is felt necessary more now then it ever did .

 

i honestly want to be with this girl i have been depressed for last weeks about it i read about how i could improve my behavior and how i could deal with fighting in couple

 

Meantime she is always hanging out with her girlfriend of many years who i know she doesn't like me been as her girlfriend's boyfriend because she is jalouse of her friend

 

Do you think she already start seen someone else and she doesn't care about our relationship anymore?

 

how much time do you think i need to give her ?

 

should i keep in touch or disappear for a while?

 

if any advice i might be able to do please help!

[Tony T]

You post sounds very familiar. I answered one exactly like it in the last few days.

 

So this time, all I'm going to say is don't make a fool of yourself. Back off gracefully...like a gentleman...and give her the space she needs. Do not contact her in any way.

 

You are going through what everybody goes through who is involved in a break up. It is extremely painful. But you have to face the reality that it's over. People don't break up with people in order to get back with them. Yes, it does happen, but with varied success.

 

If there is any possiblity of you ever getting back with this lady, it will be greatly enhanced if you be a MAN in this thing and not a WIMP. Forget her, go on with your life, and just let things happen. But don't annoy her with calls or email.

 

You'll learn.