GF Broke Up All Of A Sudden, Ghosted Me

[skanzer]

You never know what someone else's dealbreakers are going to be.

 

 

 

Some women expect the guy to pay for everything. I've met a few along the way and they were disappointed after a week or two when I've paid for a few meals and then I say something like "now it's your turn" or "when is it your turn" and they say "I don't think the woman should pay" and I say "nice knowing ya". Because a woman who is a financial parasite is my dealbreaker.

 

 

 

All depends on which side of the fence you're on I suppose.

 

 

I know you're hurting but truth be told you're better off not spending the rest of your life with a woman who is offended at the mere thought of having to pay for more than a cup of coffee.

 

That's true, you never know what the deal breakers are going to be. But, do you think what I did, considering the whole context of the situation, was a dealbreaker for someone 'worth' being with?

 

This is a bad question maybe, because she might find another guy who pays most of everything, and makes him the happiest guy on the planet. But, do you think I should blame myself for this?

[Normm]

Man you are really beating yourself up over this.

 

 

She broke up for one of two reasons.

 

 

a) you not paying for everything

b) something else

 

 

If it's something else then she wanted out and you just missed the signs and you weren't compatible in her eyes for whatever reason.

 

 

If it's because you reneged on paying for everything I think you dodged a bullet because lets face it, no matter how great she was, did you really want her to mooch of you for the next few decades? That gets old, fast. Maybe she was only in it for the financial security.

[skanzer]

Man you are really beating yourself up over this.

 

 

She broke up for one of two reasons.

 

 

a) you not paying for everything

b) something else

 

 

If it's something else then she wanted out and you just missed the signs and you weren't compatible in her eyes for whatever reason.

 

 

If it's because you reneged on paying for everything I think you dodged a bullet because lets face it, no matter how great she was, did you really want her to mooch of you for the next few decades? That gets old, fast. Maybe she was only in it for the financial security.

 

I am beating myself up over this. I think...maybe it's because it's the 1st time I really fell in love after being 3 years single, and being in Japan? And I appreciated, that she'd come over and sleep at my place 3-4 days a week, she spent a lot of time with me...I appreciated that from her. And it wasn't just that I was trying to find someone to cling to, I really liked this girls personality so much. I felt natural with her.

 

I just can't believe that she let it go so easily. I think it's a mix of a + b...but, she didn't communicate the precise reasons, so I can only guess. I'm not perfect, I made mistakes, and I keep thinking back at whatever mistake I made that I could've done better...but at the end of the day, 3 months isn't enough time to give to a person you love. Maybe I wasn't 100% perfect, but if I had more time with her, she would've seen that I truly loved her.

 

Instead, she just "ghosted me".

[skanzer]

Do you think messaging her would be a but idea? I already sent numerous messages...but she never responded even though she read them (the messages said "read")...

 

If you think I should say something, what would it be?

[Normm]

Party's over dude.

 

 

 

Gather up your remaining self respect and delete her number from your phone.

[skanzer]

Party's over dude.

 

 

 

Gather up your remaining self respect and delete her number from your phone.

 

Call me a moron...and blame it maybe on the wine I am drinking now, but I sent my last thoughts to her. I didn't sound desperate (even though by simply messaging I seem desperate)...I just laid down my thoughts about things.

 

I won't post the message here, it is very long...and maybe it was a mistake sending it, but in the grand scheme of things, it's the last message I'll ever send to her, and live moves on. I don't think I gave up my self respect sending it, it took some courage (and a little wine)...and maybe it wasn't that smart...she might not even care to read it (it was kind of long)...but it was my last shot.

[Chaparral]

Do your Japanese friends always pay for thins done on a date or do the women pay? I was wondering if dating etiquette is the same there as it is here.

[skanzer]

Do your Japanese friends always pay for thins done on a date or do the women pay? I was wondering if dating etiquette is the same there as it is here.

 

Japan is not some other planet. Its a modern country like any other. I get each country has it’s own culture, but in relation to dating etiquette, it varies from couple to couple, much the same way it works in USA for example.

[Normm]

Japan is not some other planet.

 

 

Sure it is. It's the one after Pluto (I'm not even sure Pluto is a planet).

 

 

Isn't it? Now I'm not sure.

[skanzer]

This is the message I sent to her...let me know if I sound like a complete moron.

 

“I am not normally a person who messages someone who does not respond back to me, I think it is not good for self respect…but these are my thoughts if you have any interest to read

 

I know you’ve made up your mind about me already, and that you don’t want to be with me…there are certain things I wish I did better, I know I made mistakes, and I learned from this experience just to be a better person and improve myself moving forward. Maybe I didn’t live up to your expectations, like on your birthday, or maybe you lost interest in me for other reasons, I’m not sure. I know I wasn’t perfect, and I wish I did better, but I really cared about you, and I was willing to correct my errors and improve. I felt our personalities worked really well together, and I really liked you, it always felt natural. I know you really liked me too, at least in the beginning, and I think we shared many nice moments together. I know you weren’t being fake with me..I think if you gave me chance, and more time, you would realize I have a lot to offer, and am a good person

 

I accept that it is over, but I just want to say, I don’t think you are a bad person for ignoring me, and not giving me reason for breaking up…you have your reasons, but it really does not feel good, when someone you love leaves you, and gives you no explanation. I felt I deserved at least a sincere conversation about what is wrong, just as matter of respect, rather than leave me so suddenly with so many unanswered questions

 

I have regret sending so many messages to you...”

[Highndry]

Call me a moron...and blame it maybe on the wine I am drinking now, but I sent my last thoughts to her. I didn't sound desperate (even though by simply messaging I seem desperate)...I just laid down my thoughts about things.

 

I won't post the message here, it is very long...and maybe it was a mistake sending it, but in the grand scheme of things, it's the last message I'll ever send to her, and live moves on. I don't think I gave up my self respect sending it, it took some courage (and a little wine)...and maybe it wasn't that smart...she might not even care to read it (it was kind of long)...but it was my last shot.

 

 

Wow, man, you are falling all over yourself doing everything, literally everything you should NOT do. A woman just completely disrespected you and you're chasing her around like a lost puppy, sharing "feelings."

 

If you were going to earn any respect from her, it would have been through a complete detachment from which you never initiated contact again. Instead, you are repulsing her. You've received some good advice on this thread. None of it have you heeded.

[Normm]

Wow, man, you are falling all over yourself doing everything, literally everything you should NOT do. A woman just completely disrespected you and you're chasing her around like a lost puppy, sharing "feelings."

 

It is rather cringeworthy. This is one of those threads that's hard to read without my head involuntarily moving from side to side and the word "NO!" forming on my lips.

[Highndry]

This is the message I sent to her...let me know if I sound like a complete moron.

 

“I am not normally a person who messages someone who does not respond back to me, I think it is not good for self respect…but these are my thoughts if you have any interest to read

 

I know you’ve made up your mind about me already, and that you don’t want to be with me…there are certain things I wish I did better, I know I made mistakes, and I learned from this experience just to be a better person and improve myself moving forward. Maybe I didn’t live up to your expectations, like on your birthday, or maybe you lost interest in me for other reasons, I’m not sure. I know I wasn’t perfect, and I wish I did better, but I really cared about you, and I was willing to correct my errors and improve. I felt our personalities worked really well together, and I really liked you, it always felt natural. I know you really liked me too, at least in the beginning, and I think we shared many nice moments together. I know you weren’t being fake with me..I think if you gave me chance, and more time, you would realize I have a lot to offer, and am a good person

 

I accept that it is over, but I just want to say, I don’t think you are a bad person for ignoring me, and not giving me reason for breaking up…you have your reasons, but it really does not feel good, when someone you love leaves you, and gives you no explanation. I felt I deserved at least a sincere conversation about what is wrong, just as matter of respect, rather than leave me so suddenly with so many unanswered questions

 

I have regret sending so many messages to you...”

 

 

CRINGE-WORTHY. Really sorry to see you stoop so low.

[skanzer]

Wow, man, you are falling all over yourself doing everything, literally everything you should NOT do. A woman just completely disrespected you and you're chasing her around like a lost puppy, sharing "feelings."

 

If you were going to earn any respect from her, it would have been through a complete detachment from which you never initiated contact again. Instead, you are repulsing her. You've received some good advice on this thread. None of it have you heeded.

 

 

I really feel pathetic as heck...did you read the message I sent to her? It is in previous post...I said my sincere feelings...but I am really just pathetic. I feel ashamed of myself, and hopeless

[Normm]

This is the message I sent to her...let me know if I sound like a complete moron.

 

 

Yes, you do. Especially the part where you say in the message that you regret sending so many messages.

 

 

It's like you have no self control whatsoever.

[Highndry]

It is rather cringeworthy. This is one of those threads that's hard to read without my head involuntarily moving from side to side and the word "NO!" forming on my lips.

 

 

We posted the same term at the exact same time.

 

 

 

This should be a lesson for all men in how NOT to react to a woman who devalues and discards them.

[skanzer]

CRINGE-WORTHY. Really sorry to see you stoop so low.

 

I agree. She’s probably WEIRDED OUT by me, probably tthinking SHE dodges a bullet with me now

[Normm]

We posted the same term at the exact same time.

 

 

Saw that.

 

 

 

...

[skanzer]

She read the message...there’s no going back. I gave her my last sliver of dignity. That’s it for me. Sorry to all of you. I feel ashamed

[Normm]

probably tthinking SHE dodges a bullet with me now

 

Well it's not all bad. At least you made her feel more comfortable with her decision.

[Highndry]

She read the message...there’s no going back. I gave her my last sliver of dignity. That’s it for me. Sorry to all of you. I feel ashamed

 

 

Just STOP contacting her. Period. DO NOT contact her again.

[skanzer]

Well it's not all bad. At least you made her feel more comfortable with her decision.

 

:/...that makes ne feel really crappy

[Normm]

I feel ashamed

 

 

I do too. I read these forums at work in my downtime. About 10 minutes ago I walked out of my office past a busy area and muttered out loud for everyone to hear "I can't believe he sent her that message!". People were like "what message". I was like "never mind it's a long story".

[skanzer]

Just STOP contacting her. Period. DO NOT contact her again.

 

 

I wont...i promise.

In the end, it was already screwed. I spilled my last thoughts...bad move, but result is the same.

 

I need to move on, and leave this in the past, invest in myself and in a girl who cares...sad how I ignore all the good advice and act so emotionally.

[Highndry]

I wont...i promise.

In the end, it was already screwed. I spilled my last thoughts...bad move, but result is the same.

 

I need to move on, and leave this in the past, invest in myself and in a girl who cares...sad how I ignore all the good advice and act so emotionally.

 

 

Here's the deal: Everybody hurts like this when they get discarded, but you have to be in control of your reactions. Losing control was when you started spilling your guts to a woman who doesn't even deserve a modicum of your respect at this point. She is gutter slime to you.

 

Now, forget what you just did, because it is OVER with. Find some buddies, a woman, something, go out and do something fun. Have a one night stand if you need to. Go to the gym. Do anything you can to take your mind off this shell of a woman who is the epitome of trash.