Turning point Posted March 22, 2019 Share Posted March 22, 2019 It's amazing how quickly you can be repulsed by someone once you lose all respect for them. Imagine the possibilities if people had that same moment of enlightenment when learning the truth about cigarettes, drug and alcohol abuse, and all other manner of social ills. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chryssy83 Posted March 23, 2019 Author Share Posted March 23, 2019 Once I made it clear we weren’t meeting in person he dropped the whole thing. About our son my ass... Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted March 24, 2019 Share Posted March 24, 2019 ................ Isn’t it funny how someone you thought was so attractive and great can become so repulsive when you learn who they really are? I seriously don’t even see him the same way anymore.... Unfortunately, I'm starting to agree with that statement. I love my wife dearly, and was 100% "Blind Sided" when she hit me with her anger. But the harder I tried to work on resolving the problems, the crueler she got. At this point, I'm very sad, but I know she's not the person I married all those years ago. I'm still not better, but at least I'm going to bed at night, knowing (in my heart and soul) that I did my best to try to keep the family together. FYI... thanks for posting over on my thread. I just read all of yours, and I do feel bad for you. God bless. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 24, 2019 Share Posted March 24, 2019 ] So husband has been asking me to meet in person. I told him in a text that he owes me a real apology and that I want him to admit that I didnt deserve any of this . He responded “you didn’t deserve it” and then said could we meet to actually talk. I said about what, he said one of our kids “mostly.” And I don’t have any interest in that so after some thought I told him I think a phone call would be sufficient and he tried a few more times to meet in person but ultimately agreed we can find time for a call. I don’t know what he really wants to discuss but I felt like he was being manipulative and I hate being around him. You don't have any interest in discussing one of your kids? That seems to be why he wanted to meet and talk, nothing more. Isn’t it funny how someone you thought was so attractive and great can become so repulsive when you learn who they really are? I seriously don’t even see him the same way anymore.... Yep, and that is why people get divorced so you're on the right track. I felt the same way about my ex when we were divorcing. It's normal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chryssy83 Posted March 24, 2019 Author Share Posted March 24, 2019 [quote=chryssy83;7763087 You don't have any interest in discussing one of your kids? That seems to be why he wanted to meet and talk, nothing more. / Of course I’m always happy to discuss the kids. I just don’t believe him when he says that’s all he wants to talk about and I don’t think that discussion has to happen in person. If I had something to discuss about one of the kids I would want to talk ASAP. He brought up meeting in response to my message to him about how he owes me an apology and I wish he would just admit I didn’t deserve this. Because he previously acted like it was somehow my fault he was lying and cheating. He responded that I didn’t deserve it and asked if we could meet in person to “actually talk.” I asked about what and he answered our son “mostly” about 3 hours later. I have said over and over I’m good with a call to talk about our son and he kept insisting he would rather meet in person. I think he thinks he can manipulate me somehow if we meet in person. That’s what I’m not interested in. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted March 24, 2019 Share Posted March 24, 2019 Sorry for what you have to go through. At this point, what’s the point of making him make an insincere apology to you anyway? I wish your kids the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chryssy83 Posted March 24, 2019 Author Share Posted March 24, 2019 Sorry for what you have to go through. At this point, what’s the point of making him make an insincere apology to you anyway? I wish your kids the best. There isn’t a point, sometimes I just get angry because he acts like everything is no big deal. Seriously he put less effort into planning our separation than he does planning a trip to the grocery store. I know he won’t ever understand the gravity of what he’s done because if he did he never would have done it. But sometimes I just get mad and I focus on what SHOULD happen instead of what will/can. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted March 25, 2019 Share Posted March 25, 2019 But sometimes I just get mad and I focus on what SHOULD happen instead of what will/can. It would seem, at this point, all aspects of your H's personality and character have revealed themselves. Time to stop treating him like he's the man you'd hoped he'd be and stick to your guns about giving him simply what he deserves... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 If the time has run through the courts - you can petition to have it finalized. He doesn’t want it finalized because then someone will know he is free - and likely pressure him to get married. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chryssy83 Posted March 26, 2019 Author Share Posted March 26, 2019 Yeah I’ve wondered about that...I don’t think his work girlfriend knows he’s seeing other people. We couldnt finalize the divorce without him because we can’t determine what all the marital assets are. I don’t want to leave a bunch of money on the table. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 Finalized the divorce. You should be able to finalize it while leaving the assets to still be determined. And if he stands to lose some of his assets - then that’s another reason he doesn’t want to finish it. You need a forensics attorney and/or accountant to do research on his assets. Do you have your own attorney? They should be looking into what assets he has... or even had. Waiting gives him time to move things into someone else’s name temporarily - so you can’t claim those assets. You need to find out ASAP! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author chryssy83 Posted March 26, 2019 Author Share Posted March 26, 2019 The divorce cannot be finalized without dividing the assets. Trial is more than a year away if the judge has to decide that. All his income comes from a single source. I do have an attorney and we are working to get documents from his employer showing what he has made. Then if anything is missing we can either find it or count it against his share for the settlement. He has chosen not to have counsel. I’m also an attorney so I will go through the documents myself once he gives them to us..hoping the court doesn’t have to compel the disclosures but we might get there. Right now he’s dragging his feet and I don’t know why. We will find the assets and I have probably 1/3 of everything we have where he can’t access it at all just to be safe. Link to post Share on other sites
Turning point Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 Right now he’s dragging his feet and I don’t know why. Because there's no consequences. Be as aggressive as you can because no one else will. For all the "big legal talk" the courts are actually a stunning mix of impotence and incompetence. Unless someone tries to stab you to death there's virtually no consequence for contempt of court orders. If it weren't so tragic it would comical: I need an "expert witness" to explain a very common State Law, to a State Judge, in the State Court, before lawyers licensed by the State. Given that all these practitioners fancy their picture next to walls full of Legal Volumes - isn't it high time someone in the state court system actually read one? It's absolutely mind-blowing to be in a courtroom and despite feeling like Forest Gump - realize you might actually be the smartest person in the room. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 I think he thinks he can manipulate me somehow if we meet in person. That’s what I’m not interested in. Manipulate you into what? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 He doesn’t want it finalized because then someone will know he is free - and likely pressure him to get married. Yeah some women can smell a divorced attorney a mile away and want to pounce. No, seriously, I've known some. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chryssy83 Posted March 27, 2019 Author Share Posted March 27, 2019 Manipulate you into what? Guesses: Treating him like he’s not a bad person (which means he’s not such a bad person, right?) or letting him out of responding to some of the discovery. As for your other post about smelling a divorced attorney...huh? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 As for your other post about smelling a divorced attorney...huh? I think stillafool is confused. You're the lawyer, not your husband, right? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author chryssy83 Posted March 28, 2019 Author Share Posted March 28, 2019 Yes I’m the attorney. He’s in business. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chryssy83 Posted March 30, 2019 Author Share Posted March 30, 2019 Got the responses. He just didn’t even answer a lot of the questions and he gave us credit card statements that show that he had a credit card I didn’t know about. Used it to rent movies like every 3 days and paid utilities on a house that wasn’t ours for about 8 months in 2017. He must have been watching those movies instead of working. But otherwise most of it is pretty clean. Denies any affairs, took a big fat pay cut at the start of this year due to poor work performance. I’m shocked all those dvds he watched didn’t bring in more money for the company. Link to post Share on other sites
Turning point Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 I doubt he remembers seeing any of the movies. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 He paid utilities on a house that wasn't yours for about 8 months, but denies having an affair?? Hmm...he must just be a very generous, nice guy. Link to post Share on other sites
notbroken Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 Why all the interest in discovery? Does he really have a lot of hidden assets? It doesn't sound like it. If he is as narcissistic as you say he'd likely have everything in plain sight 'for show'. Why not just divorce him asap, get a fair amount of child support, and be done with it? Seriously, I'm betting he doesn't have any hidden assets and is not making millions. He's 'all blow and no show'. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 Yes I’m the attorney. He’s in business. Oh, I'm sorry I was mistaken. I thought you both were attorneys. Yeah maybe he isn't hiding anything from you and isn't making as much as you think. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 Why all the interest in discovery? Does he really have a lot of hidden assets? It doesn't sound like it. If he is as narcissistic as you say he'd likely have everything in plain sight 'for show'. Why not just divorce him asap, get a fair amount of child support, and be done with it? Seriously, I'm betting he doesn't have any hidden assets and is not making millions. He's 'all blow and no show'. I agree with this 100%. It's not worth the headache. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 He paid utilities on a house that wasn't yours for about 8 months, but denies having an affair?? Hmm...he must just be a very generous, nice guy. It's obvious. I don't understand what difference it makes if he confesses to the affair or not if OP is sure of it. Link to post Share on other sites
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