waitingwaitingonyou Posted September 18, 2005 Share Posted September 18, 2005 Well I am back. You know my story probably! The day we broke up I initiated NC. I have not talked to her in over two months. Yes I have seen her driving a couple times. She waved but I made it look like I did not see her. This weekend I was in the town where her new boyfriend lives watching a soccer game (huge game over 10,000 people). When I was driving home I met her on the road about half way. I dont think she new it was me cuz I was driving my friends car and it was pretty cloudy. I could tell it was her because I know her car. I dont want to break no contact but my birthday is next sunday. Personally I dont think she will send me a message but what if she does. I have had this delema for a while. She has a new boyfriend so I here are the three things that I want to write. I think she will write me this message: Happy Birthday. I hope you are doing good. I will do one of the four things....Which one should I do. 1. Thanks. 2. Thanks. You know the door is still open between us. If you ever want to talk I am here for you. 3. Thanks. How are you doing? 4. I WILL NOT REPLY. Which one should I do. I really want to send number two but it might just hurt me more. Please people help....I do not want to start over I have came too far in getting over her. Thanks LS Link to post Share on other sites
upsetnhurt Posted September 18, 2005 Share Posted September 18, 2005 two and three take all the willpower and strength you have gained over the last two months and throws it in the toilet........one is the nice thing to do yet do you have to be nice to someone who made you hurt and feel sad? It won't get you anywhere sending it other than hoping for a reply. I pick four as if she remembers it will be a shock to her system that you have been able to move on and see her for what she has done. if your attempt is to get a rise out of her then number four is the way. A rise may not mean that she will contact you though.....she has moved on in her mind and she can only come back at her own free will. I question whether she will ever write. Don't worry if she does not as I am sure she still remembers and cares. She probably doesnt want to open a can of worms. Link to post Share on other sites
Author waitingwaitingonyou Posted September 18, 2005 Author Share Posted September 18, 2005 Yeah your right. You always give me great advice. I know she is spending quality time with this guy on the weekends. So it probably is best if I dont send anything. I am not going to let her ruin my birthday though. I honestly dont think she will probably send a message either but who knows. I just want to be prepared if she does. I think a quick thanks would be the right thing to do. How is she going to feel though if I dont send anything....she probably wont care... Link to post Share on other sites
upsetnhurt Posted September 18, 2005 Share Posted September 18, 2005 I assure you that she won't care if you say any of the first three. The fourth will send a statement......one that will make her think. It will be tough though as you will be waiting/hoping for a message all day so be strong......don't do what I did which was get a message on my b-day three months after I broke up and had NC, then starting somehow conversing again and seeing eachother, being pulled and pushed in every direction as she was hot and cold, only to have another heart break and back in the hole again........only if she contacts you informing you of her mistakes should you respond. Be selfish as she has and move on with your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author waitingwaitingonyou Posted September 18, 2005 Author Share Posted September 18, 2005 Ja I think your right. She has had many chances to come into contact with me but she just never has. She doesnt care. And I am going into that mode too. If she sends a message to me on my birthday that is just meaning that she doesnt want to feel guilty. I am not going to deal with that crap....If she ever asks me i just will never say i didnt get it.... Link to post Share on other sites
smile95 Posted September 18, 2005 Share Posted September 18, 2005 my b-day is in 2 wks from today and I am struggling with what I will do if he texts me something. I think I like option #4! Link to post Share on other sites
Author waitingwaitingonyou Posted September 18, 2005 Author Share Posted September 18, 2005 I am leaning towards option 4 right now but who knows a lot could happen between now and sunday. I am going to be on here all week trying to find out what to do...my heart tells me to send 2 but my head tells me to go with option 4...... This is the worst...haha Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 18, 2005 Share Posted September 18, 2005 ...my heart tells me to send 2 but my head tells me to go with option 4...... Hopefully your head wins out in the situation. Remember this from your first post? I mean that is the worst thing that she doesnt have any respect for me. By sending option 2, are not only leaving the door open for that same pain - you are practically inviting it back in. No new contacts = No new hurts... Link to post Share on other sites
rastafari Posted September 18, 2005 Share Posted September 18, 2005 I assure you that she won't care if you say any of the first three. The fourth will send a statement......one that will make her think. It will be tough though as you will be waiting/hoping for a message all day so be strong......don't do what I did which was get a message on my b-day three months after I broke up and had NC, then starting somehow conversing again and seeing eachother, being pulled and pushed in every direction as she was hot and cold, only to have another heart break and back in the hole again........only if she contacts you informing you of her mistakes should you respond. Be selfish as she has and move on with your life. Go with 4, i did it on my birthday. it felt great, it truly makes more of a statement then anything. make her wonder about you. my birthday was in may, and i still feel good about ignoring her calls and text messages to this day. you will feel much stronger and not come off like a wuss. Link to post Share on other sites
Author waitingwaitingonyou Posted September 18, 2005 Author Share Posted September 18, 2005 But I mean...One day I would love to get back together with this girl. I know that it is probably not going to happen and it is probably best that I forget about her because she is with another guy. But wouldnt it be good to send her number 2 because then she could know that she could come back? Right now she probably thinks that she is not wanted and If I dont send her anything back on my birthday then she is really going to know that she is not wanted. That is really not good now is it! I dont know....really confusing.....Probably what is going to happen is that she wont send me a message at all. That will be alot better.....help me out people! Link to post Share on other sites
heartnsoul Posted September 18, 2005 Share Posted September 18, 2005 Wavering on option 1 and 4. Have you prepared yourself for nothing at all from her? Anticipating something that might not happen could be setting yourself up for major disappointment. However, 1 and 4 will have the most impact if she does reach out on your B Day. OK, you basically just blew away my post but I'm leaving it in tact lol If you're concerned about her not feeling 'wanted' send a polite 'Thanks' and if she wants you, she'll persue. Link to post Share on other sites
Author waitingwaitingonyou Posted September 18, 2005 Author Share Posted September 18, 2005 Yeah I am not planning on a message from her. I know she wont call....if she does anything it will be a text message or an email. She is too much of a wuss to call. She hasnt called me one time since we broke up. But again I have not called her either.... Personally I would do anything to get her back but I know that I must move forward and can not live in the past....I do not want to live in the past anymore. Hopefully this birthday will be long gone without anything from her. That is what I want the most. But who knows what will happen.... Link to post Share on other sites
heartnsoul Posted September 18, 2005 Share Posted September 18, 2005 I'm truly sorry that you're hurting Don't know of many things that feel worse than heart break. However, sounds like you know that you need to leave the past behind you and move forward. I had a B Day last month and didn't hear anything from him and like you, I was preparing myself for that contact that never came. Was it that he didn't want to 'open a can of worms'? Maybe. In hind sight, his actions spoke very clearly of his intentions of what I meant to him and it was heart breaking for me! All be it Cliche .... our higher power never closes a door w/out opening a window. We'll all love again!! Time heals all wounds Link to post Share on other sites
off2sea Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 Waiting, I just went through this last weekend and hopefully my mistakes can help you avoid what I've gone through. I also knew that I would be receiving the Happy B'Day text and sure enough at 830 AM it came. I was set on ignoring it, all the advise here on LS convinced me it was the thing to do. Unfortunately, while waiting to take a flight several hours later, I had too much time to think and replied "thanks." No further messages were received so later that evening I sent another one hinting that she must be way too busy to call me on my b'day. A few generic messages went back and forth but all it did was leave me frustrated primarilly with myself for going against my own and everyone else's advise. A few days later I sent another generic message and again felt horrible. This all was after being strict NC for 10 months!! The bottom line is do not respond, it will open flood gates of feelings and anticipation. I now am back to leaving my phone off or in my car whenever the slightest urge comes my way. Hope this helps, good luck and Happy Birthday! Link to post Share on other sites
Okeydokey Posted September 20, 2005 Share Posted September 20, 2005 Absolutely No Reply. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted September 20, 2005 Share Posted September 20, 2005 1. Thanks. 2. Thanks. You know the door is still open between us. If you ever want to talk I am here for you. 3. Thanks. How are you doing? 4. I WILL NOT REPLY. Which one should I do. I really want to send number two but it might just hurt me more. IMO, number 2 is lame and the only one which would never be smart move. If you're over her, a longer and nuanced number 3: "Thanks, I had a great day. Hope things are going well for you." If you're still not over her (and this is how it sounds) but can summon the politeness, a longer number 1, sent the next day: "thanks. That's sweet of you. I had a great day". If you're still not over her and are still really unhappy, number 4. I think this shows weakness though. Link to post Share on other sites
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