ex girlfriend

[jamesy1987]

Hi to anyone who is reading this,

 

I could really do with some advice but firstly please don't tell me to straight up to move on because I'm not ready to move on, not yet anyway, that is my absolute last resort.

 

Okay, so I have been with my (ex) girlfriend for 4 years and she was the dumper (a few weeks ago). She blocked me off everything (Facebook, messenger, whats app emails etc).

 

Before blocking me she sent me an e-mail and in her e-mail was "until you have sorted yourself out don't contact me". That word UNTIL is giving me a little hope but then it's the blocking me on everything that is confusing me.

 

I've heard about the no contact after a break up and is this what she is doing? will she contact me again eventually?

 

We were supposed to have been going on holiday together in August this year (we are single parents each with kids) and so surely if it was final she would have cancelled her holiday (we made two separate bookings)? The fact that she hasn't cancelled her holiday is just giving me a little hope also.

 

The other day I created an email account to message her and she messaged back and basically told me she was in the hospital but then blocked me or something because I replied asking what was wrong and didn't get nothing back. Anyway the next morning I rang the 2 main hospital's in her area and no one under her name had been admitted to hospital. Why would she tell me that she was in hospital when she clearly wasn't? Was she trying to get to my emotions? was it a test to see if I cared? I've just checked my inbox and the spam box and a message was from her in there .. she must have sent it after I sent her a message asking her why she was in hospital and her words were "If I cared then I'd have phoned the hospital" .. I replied back and said that I did hence the 2 hospitals. But why is she doing this? what is the tactic is she trying to play? is she playing mind games or what?

 

Could really do with some advice

 

Thanks

[PRW]

Hi to anyone who is reading this,

 

I could really do with some advice but firstly please don't tell me to straight up to move on because I'm not ready to move on

Ok.

Come back when you are.

It is like getting fired from a job,...you don't pester the boss to try to get your job back.

Edited February 6, 2019 by PRW

[ExpatInItaly]

You describe the break-up, but you don't give any context for it. We could help you more if you give more details about your relationship:

 

How long had you been together? Why did she break up with you?

 

What is she referring to when she says you need to get your life together?

[skanzer]

"until you have sorted yourself out don't contact me"

 

You didn't give any background story as to why she said this.

[traditional]

It is reasonable that you feel entitled to reach out to her. There are several questions or things that we must consider.

 

 

1. Did you make an effort to find out what about you it is that you must sort out first, and how she would know or be satisfied that you have indeed sort out what it is to sort out.

 

 

2. No contact is for the dumpee, to allow for both the possibilities-if your person is serious she will come back eventually. To make sure its not just a reach out-you must also cut contact for a reasonable period of time. It is not advisable to chase someone, specially women, you come across or look too needy and annoying. Give her time to think, women need space to consider things, if you are in her face all the time, she thinks and remembers only the reason why she left, if you are away/gone the reasons for leaving fades and the missing and feelings come back.

 

 

3. The fact that you don't mention what you are doing to accommodate what she said about sorting out your story-makes you seem a bit selfish in that you want her to conform to you by taking you back, but you offer nothing in return-it feels controlling-nobody controls women, they simply leave you.

 

 

4. If you really want her, as the old saying goes, let her go-give her space and room, there are too many variables in play, could be an ex or another guy making a sudden appearance on your block, could be she is testing you if you are up for co-parenting-serious stuff. Could be she has grown weary aa bit bored, could be something that you do is which could be a simple thing, makes her struggle with thoughts of suicide, too many.

 

 

5. If she is your woman, she will be back with a vengeance, she will contact you. But you must give her space by not contacting her at least for a month or something, have patience and be strong. There is no way on this earth and under our sun that you can force someone to love you or have affection for you, it is just not possible, you can buy up all flowers, chocolates, be on your knees will not happen. Give her space-let her come to you with her time. Please find out and sort out whatever it is she needs you to sort.

[Occitanie]

Hi to anyone who is reading this,

 

I could really do with some advice but firstly please don't tell me to straight up to move on because I'm not ready to move on, not yet anyway, that is my absolute last resort.

 

Okay, so I have been with my (ex) girlfriend for 4 years and she was the dumper (a few weeks ago). She blocked me off everything (Facebook, messenger, whats app emails etc).

 

Before blocking me she sent me an e-mail and in her e-mail was "until you have sorted yourself out don't contact me". That word UNTIL is giving me a little hope but then it's the blocking me on everything that is confusing me.

 

I've heard about the no contact after a break up and is this what she is doing? will she contact me again eventually?

 

We were supposed to have been going on holiday together in August this year (we are single parents each with kids) and so surely if it was final she would have cancelled her holiday (we made two separate bookings)? The fact that she hasn't cancelled her holiday is just giving me a little hope also.

 

The other day I created an email account to message her and she messaged back and basically told me she was in the hospital but then blocked me or something because I replied asking what was wrong and didn't get nothing back. Anyway the next morning I rang the 2 main hospital's in her area and no one under her name had been admitted to hospital. Why would she tell me that she was in hospital when she clearly wasn't? Was she trying to get to my emotions? was it a test to see if I cared? I've just checked my inbox and the spam box and a message was from her in there .. she must have sent it after I sent her a message asking her why she was in hospital and her words were "If I cared then I'd have phoned the hospital" .. I replied back and said that I did hence the 2 hospitals. But why is she doing this? what is the tactic is she trying to play? is she playing mind games or what?

 

Could really do with some advice

 

Thanks

 

 

 

Walk away and don’t look back.

 

If she gets in touch, assume she wants to see you and invite her over to yours for a couple of drinks and/or make dinner together.

 

Go read Corey Wayne’s book and watch his videos, they’re really helpful for situations like this and offer the best way of getting an ex back.

 

She blew you off, blocked you on many things, you need to move on. If she still likes you and begins to regret the break up, you will hear from her, but constantly getting in touch with her like you’re doing right now is going to turn her off even more.