ricksanchez Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 (edited) So here's my story a little bit messy. And of course sorry for my low english level(you'll see) I am 24 male and my ex is 19f She broke with me like... 2 weeks ago . We were almost 1 year together She is my first gf ever (im not her first tho). I had a tough life changing schools and cities but i kept my friends in my hometown where now I live(when im not at uni) Also i had bad experience with anxiety and panic attacks which affected my life a lot (im very closed person) - I dropped out uni at the time 21 to 23y/o, I stayed at my home most of the time suffering... wasted years of my life...(also my highschool life was - home-school-home-school) Somehow i recovered and i came back to study. And than i met her at a bar, i wasn't that interested at the beginning but she was maaadly in love in me, through the time i fall in love as well. We were together for almost a year.I liked that she is natural and good girl(also sexy and cute) she was kinda sad in the small town she lived.I never thought a girl like her will like me.She was nice to me everyyyy single time she is perfect. But my social awkwardness was there all the time and i rejected her so many times... i was ashamed to even make pictures with her.. and she was still trying to love me and support me I was good with her, but i never gave her the needed attention, and my worst mistake was that i take her for granted.Shortly after the New eve i messed up one more time and she got very mad for the first time , she started to get cold and not calling me or not responding.Last time we went out i told her about my past and that im very shy and im sorry and all the things i did. Here is where my lack of any experience showed up..next days i panicked and i started to bother her all the time. and that contunie even more ... she said leave me for a while etc. and i panicked even more so one day i go to her home and asked her to go out... i started to apologize and cry , we talked like 2-3 hours most of the stuff was pointless. but i asked her like 1000 times Do you still like me ? she didnt say no, but she said if i say yes i would lie. at the end i asked her again 1000 times what we do now ? she was thinking few mintes and she said: i think we should stop seeing each other. (now i think the whole apologizing asking stuff was like i was begging her to break up with me) We hugged and we both cryed a lot and she said if you have any problem call me and we can talk.i said the same to her. I'm devasted these 2 weeks i dont have any will to live or enjoy anything.....I've read about the NC and i failed at the 5th day cuz i needed to tell her so many things, I called her 2-3 times that i wanna speak to her, everytime she was saying: im not in town or i cant now bla bla (this was true btw) last time i called her was 3 days ago and now she was with her friends at another city.She seems very happy considering her fb posts and pictures recently(im affraid she will go with other boy since she is freshman in uni and a lot of boys are aroud her). im thinking to go NC again but first i wanna meat her for 1 more time and tell her how i feel ( i promised her i wont beg her) she said ok ok its fine. Im gonna give her few gifts that i wanted since last month but didnt have the opportunity(i also draw her..jeez) and im thinking to tell her that she was my first and i didnt have any exp and this was the happiest time of my life , after that im thinking to try to forget her or NC i dont really know.. but i cant live day without her .Now i can feel it that i can change for good and be more confident and be a better guy ( i reeeeeally know it this time, now i dont care about anything) I really think she still have some feelings left. I was able to make her laugh all the time even when we broke up we laughed a lot.Another mistake was that everytime she was trying to talk about problems i was joking about this and telling her i hate drama ...she said that was a bad move as well. Im so confused and im dying inside... this NC is bothering me a lot cuz my emotions are stronger . She was so kind to me all the time, we trusted each other about everything...but i was a such a fu***n idiot. I really will appreciate any opinions and advises, should i start NC again ? i have like 1% hope that things will get better , im dying to beg even when i know shouldnt. Edited February 9, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 This was your 1st relationship & you made some mistakes. That happens. Nobody does something new well the 1st time. The fact that you have anxiety just compounded your problems & mistakes. First you need to learn patience. You can't pester somebody asking 1,000 times if they like you & constantly seeking reassurance. You need to work on your own self confidence. You may have a lot to say to your EX but she is no longer interested in listening to you. So you have to leave her alone. Yes, you should resume NC. It will help you retain your dignity & not chase her. Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 Now i can feel it that i can change for good and be more confident. Doesn't sound like it. You want to be a better more confident guy, then do it without her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ricksanchez Posted February 8, 2019 Author Share Posted February 8, 2019 (edited) thanks for the answer. I appreciate it The thing is that now I wait for her to tell me when she is available, and if we eventually meet il probably will do more mistakes during the talk and I can't help myself. If just I wasn't that rush in our last talks things might have been better now. Il try to talk calm next time and tell her that I realized my mistakes and I understand her. Also, il tell her I still love her but il try to move on. And one thing that scares me is I think that she most likely lost attraction to me. Another thing i wanna do is to give her the drawing (of her face, its actually a good painting) i made for her which is probably a very bad idea. If this conversation ever happens then il go for this damn NC again with 0 expectations even when I know I will suffer every day and love her ... Edited February 8, 2019 by ricksanchez Link to post Share on other sites
traditional Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 Don't feel too bad bra, in my experience and from those of most guys I know, it is very very rare that you have success with your first relationship or love story. It may be because of inexperience we end up smothering the ladies, which they do not like. Women will tell you that they want an attentive, loving-caring, sensitive, romantic, clean shaven, soft spoken guy-well that is exactly the opposite of what they really want. We all make the mistakes. I do not know why, but for most of us the first time end in heart break, it means you get broken in, and from the second relationship you get better-in other words you become more man-you don't give your all and that has the effect that leaves women chasing because they don't get why you are not chasing and smothering. It happens to almost everyone, give yourself time to absorb the rejection and the pain that comes with being left. The love and things you feel is not on her its inside you-so you must deal with it inside yourself. You will overcome. I belief-whether its wrong or right that a man must for the better part of his life from youth, think with your genital and not feelings and emotions and attraction. A young man must hit anything that prescribes to the criteria of woman, you go out take them to surgery-go home empty your bladder whiles taking a shower, pray and sleep. Don't get knee deep in mud of love and relationships that are more an emotional burden. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 Stop waiting for her. She is not coming back. Go learn to be more confident. When you achieve that, apply that new you to your next relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
abotha5 Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 So here's my story a little bit messy. And of course sorry for my low english level(you'll see) I am 24 male and my ex is 19f She broke with me like... 2 weeks ago . We were almost 1 year together You have a lot to learn. Go watch this guy : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQTAVxA4dNBCoPdHhX9nnoQ Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 You made your mistakes, yes. But she is also only 19. The odds that you would be her last boyfriend were slim, given her young age and the fact that she's a freshman and surrounded by new people. But what happened here? "Shortly after the New eve i messed up one more time and she got very mad for the first time" What do you mean you messed up? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 You've come to kind of rely on her to talk to, I get that, and that can be the worst part of breaking up sometimes, because now you really feel pain and need to talk to someone and she was the one. But you're going to have to find someone else to talk to, I'm afraid. She has broken up with you and I know that was hard for her, but it's clear she meant it. You can't remain friends because you'd still be wanting more and also getting in the way of both of you moving on with other people. If you don't have any close friends you can talk to, maybe talk to your priest or a counselor. What you can't do is expect her to change her mind or try to guilt her into talking to you and making up reasons for that. It's not all about you except to you. To her, she is ready for this to be over and she has that right. Don't assume you can change her mind because that's disrespectful, like telling someone You don't know what you want but I know what you need. Disrespect. You need to make a clean break or you'll just stay upset longer and waste more time. Take time to mourn, find someone to talk to, but then shortly, start making yourself go be social with other people and in the meantime, do things you enjoy that make you laugh. It's never easy for anyone. We've all been there. But you just have to accept that it's over. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ricksanchez Posted February 8, 2019 Author Share Posted February 8, 2019 (edited) Stop waiting for her. She is not coming back. Go learn to be more confident. When you achieve that, apply that new you to your next relationship. She said she will call me when she can so we can talk. Il tell her I understand her opinion and i won't beg, il also tell her that i found my mistake and if i have another gf il try to be better...il give her the gifs and il leave that's it. The emotions will kill me but il try to move on somehow ;/ You made your mistakes, yes. But she is also only 19. The odds that you would be her last boyfriend were slim, given her young age and the fact that she's a freshman and surrounded by new people. But what happened here? "Shortly after the New eve i messed up one more time and she got very mad for the first time" What do you mean you messed up? Well, i don't agree about that.She was overly attached she was loving me despite my dumb behavior.She also said to a friend that she is afraid i will left her and she will go in deep depression (happened the opposite) Its hard to explain in few sentences but "dude trust me" if I acted normal this would never happen i can assure you. until 1st January she would destroy my neck every time she sees me. and one night i rejected her again because i was in a bad mood and told her i can't go out (after we were trying to find free time the whole day..long story) Next days as i said i made my retarded mistakes to go insane mode on her. Later she said she just had enough with my excuses and not giving her any attention, she cried and was so disappointed.. You've come to kind of rely on her to talk to. At least i have 1 friend who understands me and call me every day to talk and to help me.My family supports me too. Im sad i missed such a nice and perfect girl, and i cant even understand why i was that distant and neglecting her... i guess one of the many reasons is she was too nice to me and that made me somehow safe and sure about this relationship and this made my subconsciousness to take her for granted sadly ... i will never make this mistakes again. I dont want to sound cheesy but no one ever loved me like she did ..She said she liked me the first time she saw me - im poor dont have a job , i dont have anything .. but she saw something in me.. i just didn't believe this is happening. One more problem is she is living next to me in the campus so i will see her quite often... I will work on me and il be better , il try to learn from this but im not gonna lie i will still have some fake hopes that she will give me another chance for at least few months.I know times heel the best. Again guys thanks for the replys !!!!!! I really reallllyy appreciate it , Love you all Edited February 8, 2019 by ricksanchez Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 Well, i don't agree about that.She was overly attached she was loving me despite my dumb behavior.She also said to a friend that she is afraid i will left her and she will go in deep depression (happened the opposite) Its hard to explain in few sentences but "dude trust me" if I acted normal this would never happen i can assure you. No, you can't. You want to believe it would never have happened but you cannot be sure of it. I realize it hurts less to believe that you can somehow unilaterally change the course of events, but there is a lot here that was out of your control, and her age is a significant factor even if you don't want to see that right now. Being more emotionally stable and open to her might have kept the relationship alive longer, and meant that it ended more peacefully, but there are very few 19-year-olds out there today who stay with their boyfriend or girlfriend forever. She is not mature enough yet for that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ricksanchez Posted February 16, 2019 Author Share Posted February 16, 2019 Quick update .That happened last week Things went waay worse. After she continued to delay our meet( just frendly talk) I was still blaming myself at home crying and suffering, i didnt have the patience so i talk to her again on the phone and she said she will come home ( she lives next to me in the campus) after 1-2 hours, but ofc she cant see me... I asked for tomorrow she said i dont know... I made retarded move and went to her home and wait for her. I wasnt thinking clear atm never thought that this is a creep way to see her, she was obviously creeped and was angry( mostly cos her friends were with her) she was embarrassed in front of her friends and we talked like 1-2 min. She said : i was going to call you tomorrow and we were going to talk like friends ( that was a lie, she delayed even this night for a false reason) I told her i accepted the break up, and i had enough with her lies that we will see so i told her better tell me that you dont wanna see me again .so i can stop worring . She started talk some nonsense and told me she is going out, so we said bb and that was all. After 10 min at home we texted few stuff: i apologized about this scene ( i realized how stupid it was when i came back) She told me i dont want anything from you bla bla act like a stranger if you see me . Then she blocked me everywhere ( except 1 media) For some reason i think that way is better cuz my hopes died but i still feel like sh*t Why am i writing this? If any other pity person read this just dont try this and keep the nc its really important... We were at least "friends" before this, now she hates me The hard part is that now i need to find a way to heal my broken heart..and i dont have any idea how, im dead inside everyday . I wont contact her again il try NC even if it sounds stupid now( cus i can msg her again if i want) i know i need to forget her but i dont see how, actually i dont wanna forget her but il try somehow... I dream her every night and keep having memories about her .....but somehow il try to forget her :/ Link to post Share on other sites
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