Double Date leads to confusion

[TruthSeeker5]

Long post alert:

 

Last Saturday my girlfriend invited me to hang with a college buddy of ours and their new boyfriend. We hadn't seen each other in a few years so I decided it'd be fun. We made two stops that night with the first being at a restaurant and a bar nearby. We had fun at the bar, they got some drinks and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. An equal amount of peer-pressure went forth (nothing too extreme) resulting in my girlfriend kissing her friend. It was only a peck, nothing serious and I wasn't bothered.

 

I've seen her kiss female friends before and she said it wasn't a big deal when doing so. We concluded the night, everything went well and the other couple enjoyed themselves. We even talked about having a couple's trip later in the year.

 

 

Here is when things got weird:

 

Everything was fine until two days ago. She called me when she got off work with a proposition/joke. She asked me, how I would feel about her having a girlfriend? She said her friend thought the kiss was sexy and so did she. I was trying to be open minded here by listening to how she had been feeling and why. Basically, she was propositioning a 4-way relationship (2 guys, 2 girls)

 

As I delve deeper into her request she stopped and said that she was only joking. She made the scenario up, but why go through a fantasy only for it to be a joke? Next, she prescribed to me that an open relationship would be more fitting FOR ME. This sounded like it came from a place of inadequacy. I disagreed because that isn't something that I want.

 

According to her, she felt discomfort regarding the kiss at the bar. She doesn't want me to think she's a lesbian so she joked with me to see what I would say. She swears up and down that she likes men and I want to believe her. I guess it was alluded to the peer pressure she received, but she was giving it out as well.

 

I respected her boundaries and felt we walked away with a better understanding of how each other felt. The only thing that stood out in the back of my mind was "Why wait 3 days later to speak up?"

 

Anyway, we didn't speak much yesterday but she had an off day. More than likely she was catching up on rest so I did my thing as well. She called me last night interrogating me in a jokingly way, asking why I didn't call her. We spoke for 5 minutes before her friend calls her. She says "This is (friend from the other night) I'll call you back and *click* she abruptly hangs up on me. I was going to let it go but, the way she dropped off the line was odd. I called her shortly thereafter.

 

I told her to tell her friend she'll call her back because we hadn't spoke all day (it was late at night) which she had already done. I said something to the effect of a sexual joke with her responding that her friend is welcome to eat her pussy. I said "I thought you didn't like girls?" she said she doesn't, so maybe she was being petty? But the argument started when she berated the importance of us talking. Hurtful words were said and we're equally wrong. My delivery was off but her comment detonated the bomb.

 

I apologized for my delivery and things that I may have said. But something just seemed off and I thought we needed to talk. I didn't get the indication from either of our friends that they'd make advances on her. So this could've been an urge that she is facing within herself. Its just odd that she'll prioritize speaking to her friend while I suddenly get placed on the "Unimportant" list. The whole proposition plus her starting to be at her friends every beck and call is weird. It's a repeat of our college days because she prioritized her friends needs even then. We all get along so I don't want to disrupt anything but we should be transparent.

[traditional]

Why would you want to be part of something you don't understand, or maybe even don't want.

 

 

Perhaps its best you just get off the scene, better not to ask questions and analyse things she says. Maybe just tell her to sort herself and what she wants and then let you know, until then focus on something else.