the reunion ,I dont want to go

[Patty]

My family is planning on a reunion but I dont want to go.I guess I feel kind of out of place.My cousins, most of them have kids and I dont.I really dont have much in common with any of them plus I hardly see them or know them ,I really dont feel like going to this family thing.I dont fit in.I dread this.I never have fun at these things cause I dont know how to socialize but being on the net sounds better to me anyways.When Im in a chat room its much easier to talk to a person then when Im face to face ,I never could understand why.I was beginning to think it was getting easier for me to talk to people.So this reunion will be no fun for me cause I got no kids yet.At my age of 28 thats embarassing.All my cousins are ahead of me ,some are younger and already have kids,im beginning to feel really awkward and going to feel out of place at that reunion.If I knew how to socialize with others I guess it could be fun but it wont be fun for me cause Im not into family things.Not cause I dont like my family but its cause im just not comfortable with crowds of people thats all.Every time im near a ton of people I start walking away,not too be rude its just an uncomfortable feeling I get with facing large crowds.I guess the bad expereiences from school made me this way.I really hope I dont have to go to the reunion,the thought of the big crowd is something im not looking forward to.

[sparkle]

No, you don't HAVE to goto the reunion.

 

But then again, you don't HAVE to goto chat rooms on the net.

 

Get off the computer and goto the reunion. You spend so much of your time talking to people in chatrooms or writing to penpals. No wonder you feel so uncomfortable around people. You NEED to be around people in real life, in person, physically there.

 

Sitting on the net is doing nothing for your socializing and conversational skills. But going to the reunion, where you can talk to many different people of all different ages, will help you a great deal more. It will also be much more productive.

[Tony T]

It's very unfortunate you feel the way you do. You will learn in time that your relatives are just about the only people in the world you can count on. If you snub them now, they may not be around for you later.

 

You ought to use the few hours of the reunion to bond with the relatives you like. It's not rocket science. Let them do the talking. Right now you may not understand, but when you're much older and you really need people to be there for you...you're blood relatives are the ones you will be able to most count on.

 

If you don't want to go, don't. But you'll pay a very heavy price later on. You can use the experience of socializing to enhance other aspects of your life. An existence in front of a computer for human interaction is a very sad, lonely and empty experience in the longrun.

 

Do you really think those people in your chatrooms will be there if your house burns down, you get divorced, your dog gets run over, you have appendicitis, and you get arthritis in your hands and can't use a keyboard???

 

Just give all this some thought.

[Tammie]

Hi-

 

I'm around your age, no kids, etc.

 

Everyone around me seems to be married, blah blah blah. Just this past weekend, I was the ONLY single person (yes, I felt like a single FREAK) at a barbecue, and someone had the nerve to ask if I was married. I smiled and said 'No'.

 

I realized that I've come so far because, if I'd been asked a year ago (right after a very bad breakup) I probably would have burst into tears.

 

Just realize that most people talk about their kids/ husbands/ bf's to make small talk, and because they really have nothing ELSE to talk about. (Yes, there's the small faction of people that do it to make you feel bad, but it's because THEY feel bad about themselves. You can just ignore them & pity them.)

 

I hate crowds, and almost didn't show up for the barbecue.

 

But I did it, and I feel better because I did. Why? Because I now know I CAN do it. And YOU can, too.

 

I say go to the reunion and hold your head up, single girl!!!

[clia]

I really dont have much in common with any

of them plus I hardly see them or know them ,I really dont feel like going to this family thing.I dont fit in.

If you hardly see or know these people, then how do you know you don't fit in? Give it a chance.

I dread this.I never have fun at these things cause I dont know how to socialize but being on the net sounds better to me anyways.

Being on the net is the easy way out. You need to shut of your computer and get outside and socialize with real people. Socializing isn't that hard. All you have to do is sit down and start talking. Actually, since this is your family it should be easier than with a bunch of people you have no connection to. You're allowed to be a little weird around your family. Maybe you can practice your mingling and socializing skills at the reunion.

So this reunion will be no fun for me cause I got no kids yet.At my age of 28 thats embarassing.All my cousins are ahead of me ,some are younger and already have kids,im beginning to feel really awkward and going to feel out of place at that reunion.

Oh my God, are you kidding me??? Every single one of your cousins would love to be in your place! Having kids early is overrated. You're supposed to enjoy your youth. Heck, I'm almost 27 and I'm not embarrassed I don't have any kids yet--I'm thrilled. My friends that DO have kids envy me when I take off for San Francisco or San Diego for the weekend at the last minute. Think about the freedom you have that your cousins don't. There is absolutely no reason for you to feel embarrassed, and no one will look down on you for CHOOSING to live your life first and have kids later on. Ever watch Sex in the City? Do the girls on that show seem embarrassed to be in their 30s and not have any kids? I think not.

If I knew how to socialize with others I guess it could be fun but it wont be fun for me cause Im not into family things.Not cause I dont like my family but its cause im just not comfortable with crowds of people thats all.Every time im near a ton of people I start walking away,not too be rude its just an uncomfortable feeling I get with facing large crowds.I guess the bad expereiences from school made me this way.I really hope I dont have to go to the reunion,the thought of the big crowd is something im not looking forward to.

Maybe you should talk to a therapist. You might have a social phobia or something that is keeping you from enjoying yourself when you're around crowds.

 

You should definitely go to the reunion, but go into it with a positive attitude, not your "If I go I won't have fun" attitude. If you have that attitude, you definitely won't have fun. Be positive, put on a sharp outfit and curl your hair, and enjoy being with your family and meeting those members of your family you don't know yet.

[Patty]

It's very unfortunate you feel the way you do. You will learn in time that your relatives are just about the only people in the world you can count on. If you snub them now, they may not be around for you later. You ought to use the few hours of the reunion to bond with the relatives you like. It's not rocket science. Let them do the talking. Right now you may not understand, but when you're much older and you really need people to be there for you...you're blood relatives are the ones you will be able to most count on. If you don't want to go, don't. But you'll pay a very heavy price later on. You can use the experience of socializing to enhance other aspects of your life. An existence in front of a computer for human interaction is a very sad, lonely and empty experience in the longrun. Do you really think those people in your chatrooms will be there if your house burns down, you get divorced, your dog gets run over, you have appendicitis, and you get arthritis in your hands and can't use a keyboard??? Just give all this some thought. Your right.You just made me realize how important it is to enjoy my family and made me feel better about going. I just rethink things over and feel better about going.Thank you Tony you helped me realize it was good to go,now im feeling much better.see my smile?

[Tony T]

You have obviously made a very good decision, based on the opinions of all others who posted here. I think you'll feel a lot better if you go. I don't think it'll be a lot of work to enjoy the food and catching up on your family. If nothing else, you can ask the elder members about your distant family background and what they were like. Make it an educational experience.

 

It was at a family reunion that I learned that Will Rogers was a second cousin on my mother's side of the family. (If you don't know him, he was a very famous political humorist, cowboy and actor some years ago.)

 

I also urge you to find some relatives you enjoy and want to know better and nurture those relationships. Family is the most important thing we have in our lives. Spouses can divorce us but our families are always there for us, despite the little spats we have sometimes.

[kikie]

ai, tony, u'r making me feel so sad ... in my family, there're no kids but me ... (at least the part that keeps contact with each other) ... aside from my uncles, aunt and parents, i'll be all alone ... *whine* i guess i need a good husband then! hehe

 

to patty: see how lucky u r to have a big family?? enjoy!!

[Patty]

You have obviously made a very good decision, based on the opinions of all others who posted here. I think you'll feel a lot better if you go. I don't think it'll be a lot of work to enjoy the food and catching up on your family. If nothing else, you can ask the elder members about your distant family background and what they were like. Make it an educational experience. It was at a family reunion that I learned that Will Rogers was a second cousin on my mother's side of the family. (If you don't know him, he was a very famous political humorist, cowboy and actor some years ago.) I also urge you to find some relatives you enjoy and want to know better and nurture those relationships. Family is the most important thing we have in our lives. Spouses can divorce us but our families are always there for us, despite the little spats we have sometimes.

Wow! Thats cool.an actor!Thats interesting. Thats cool to be a relative of someone famous! Maybe Im a relative of someone famous too,I"ll soon find out:)

[Patty]

No, you don't HAVE to goto the reunion. But then again, you don't HAVE to goto chat rooms on the net. Get off the computer and goto the reunion. You spend so much of your time talking to people in chatrooms or writing to penpals. No wonder you feel so uncomfortable around people. You NEED to be around people in real life, in person, physically there. Sitting on the net is doing nothing for your socializing and conversational skills. But going to the reunion, where you can talk to many different people of all different ages, will help you a great deal more. It will also be much more productive.

thats true,but I only have 1 special pen pal I write too not alot from the net.I dont just sit on the net to write to pen pals all day,I do variety of things.such as sampling music. .My pen pal left college.I only email him once a week.I search the net during the day.I go to chat in the evenings.,etc but But u are right. sitting on the net does nothing to help my social skills. maybe i'll learn some things about my family background so this reunion might not be as bad as i thought it would be

[WGirl]

My family is planning on a reunion but I dont want to go.I guess I feel kind of out of place.My cousins, most of them have kids and I dont.I really dont have much in common with any of them plus I hardly see them or know them ,I really dont feel like going to this family thing.I dont fit in.I dread this.I never have fun at these things cause I dont know how to socialize but being on the net sounds better to me anyways.When Im in a chat room its much easier to talk to a person then when Im face to face ,I never could understand why.I was beginning to think it was getting easier for me to talk to people.So this reunion will be no fun for me cause I got no kids yet.At my age of 28 thats embarassing.All my cousins are ahead of me ,some are younger and already have kids,im beginning to feel really awkward and going to feel out of place at that reunion.If I knew how to socialize with others I guess it could be fun but it wont be fun for me cause Im not into family things.Not cause I dont like my family but its cause im just not comfortable with crowds of people thats all.Every time im near a ton of people I start walking away,not too be rude its just an uncomfortable feeling I get with facing large crowds.I guess the bad expereiences from school made me this way.I really hope I dont have to go to the reunion,the thought of the big crowd is something im not looking forward to.