plindle Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 I am 24 and have never had a guy ask for my number out in public before (not even at a gas station). I know this sounds crazy but lately its been really making me feel down because it makes me feel like I am so unwanted by men. I never really thought I was unattractive but knowing that it happens to other women makes me feel like maybe I am not pretty. Do you think it is a sign that I could be unattractive? Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 It may be because you look too classy for a guy to think you'd respond to being hit on by a stranger. I doubt it's because you're not pretty enough. When it's ever happened to me I've been at my grungiest. No make up, etc., blue jeans and t shirt, looking bad. I figured it was because I looked homeless, desperate or something! I could be wrong but I'd think looking low class and/or "easy" would increase chances of stranger hits. Don't lose any sleep over it. Link to post Share on other sites
Artdeco Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 Is this a joke question? Anyhow, no - it doesn't mean you're not pretty. It depends on where you live, too, bc it is largely a cultural thing. Here in the US we are very politically correct, so randomly approaching a woman in public, especially nowadays, is frowned upon (esp at a gas station, why did you come up with THAT example?? it would be more acceptable probably at some kind of an event, like a concert or so....). In Italy or some other southern European countries, for example, or maybe in a Latin American country, it is probably more common to flirt more in public, or to approach random strangers asking for their phone number. But not so much in the US. Not sure where you're from, though. Heck, Coca Cola and Delta Airlines had to apologize for handing out napkins on flights. The napkin suggested to write down your name and phone number and give it to your "plane crush" ...... that caused an outrage and they had to apologize and remove those napkins from the planes. :laugh: That's our culture. So don't be surprised that you never get approached.... Everbody online dates. Try that. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 You are young. Having been around LS for a while in the age of #MeToo I suspect that you haven't been asked because guys your age are too scared especially if you project as confident. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 Yeah, it isn't going to get easier for young women anytime soon. Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyM Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 There may be many reasons why no one has asked you out but without more details about yourself, who knows? It certainly does not mean you are ugly or unwanted. You will clearly get better answers if you tell about yourself. Don't know where you live but don't expect guys to walk to you at a gas station or market and flirt--it is possible of course but don't bet on it. Anyway, do you really want to date a guy you just met at a gas station? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 At a gas station? Lol. Ok, I once had a guy at a gas station store stop me and tell me my perfume was fantastic. He didn’t seem to be hitting on me, though, and he absolutely wasn’t my type but I appreciated the compliment. I don’t know who your friends are but that’s kind of a strange comparison. Book stores, maybe, or grocery stores. Do you make eye contact with guys and smile? They’re not likely to approach if they think they’ll get rebuffed. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 (edited) Well it's funny , dunno how many times l've seen a great looking chick getting petrol over the years. But eh if it's any consolation l'm 50s but l maybe asked one or 2 max if that, strangers for their number ever, back when. Here that would be no dramas at all but it's not really that , it's more that you'd just think chances are she'd have a bf or hubby anyway so don't even bother. And funny to someone talking casual clothes , women never realize it but they often look even better just in casual clothes or house stuff . l must've heard them saying things happen when they race out of the house in what they think is looking like crap , 1000 times. So anyway , it's probably just how it is and nothing to do with looks or you so l wouldn't worry about that. l wouldn't imagine that happens very often to anyone really just total strangers. A guy would usually rather at least some familiarity situation or chit chat first . Can't believe that airline handing out tissues got twisted around into something like that, how mad has the world become, l just mean wtf . Edited February 8, 2019 by chillii Link to post Share on other sites
JustGettingBy Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 Most dates and number exchanges come either from: friends introducing you online or apps single bars/clubs work Randomly out in public is rare, so no, you're probably fine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 The Coke / Delta thing was a problem. It said something about sending a note to your "plane crush". Upon hearing about it, my 1st thought was that it was a set up for extra marital affairs / the mile high club sort of thing & that is a problem. The idea behind it was probably closer to the idea that people aren't connecting with others in real life any more & this was a possible way to change that, to network but it wasn't well thought out Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 You say that you’ve never been asked out in public. But have you had boys interested in you at parties, college, via friends? That’s where it really counts. And if a complete stranger approached you and asked for your number, would you actually give it? You wouldn’t know anything about him. Can’t be too careful. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 You say that you’ve never been asked out in public. But have you had boys interested in you at parties, college, via friends? That’s where it really counts. And if a complete stranger approached you and asked for your number, would you actually give it? You wouldn’t know anything about him. Can’t be too careful. Yeah for sure and that's actually the biggest thing. lf your a total stranger you don't wanna scare her or make her uncomfortable and she'd mostly have to say no anyway because she doesn't know you from Adam. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Nilfiry Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 It depends on where you are and the timing/occasion. In this day and age, it can be pretty dangerous to randomly approach someone and ask for their number without some personal risks or making yourself look dangerous. No one wants to take the risk that come with approaching people, and no one wants to feel like they are being stalked by strangers. Some exaggeration involved here, but it is just not as easy to randomly approach people like it was 25 years ago. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 but it is just not as easy to randomly approach people like it was 25 years ago. Random approaching wasn't a thing 25 years ago. Or at least, it rarely happened to me and it was only socially inept guys who tried it. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 I'm 66 and never had a guy ask for my number when just out and about. It doesn't mean anything. I'm from that generation that instead of asking for your number, you hooked up after meeting out and about. Guys are overall nervous about asking someone for their number before they have talked to them a little, because it's high risk of rejection. I know this is corny, but honestly, the most important thing isn't looking devastatingly good looking. It's about looking friendly and approachable. So don't neglect to laugh and smile when out and about to show you're fun and friendly. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 I know this is corny, but honestly, the most important thing isn't looking devastatingly good looking. It's about looking friendly and approachable. So don't neglect to laugh and smile when out and about to show you're fun and friendly. Repeated for emphasis ^^ 1 Link to post Share on other sites
littleblackheart Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 In my home country, being approached randomly is such an ingrained part of the culture. Women know it has no value, and is no indication of how 'pretty' or 'attractive' you are; they just shrug it off as light banter. Don't hang your sense of worth on such a meaningless thing, OP. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 (edited) In two other countries I’ve lived before at your age, it’s common. But I never really liked it to be honest as I felt like a piece of meat. I don’t think it’s common in the US. I find most Americans a little stuck up and non spontaneous in that sense. Even before #metoo. I think that’s valid because even at my age people hit on me all the time when I visit the countries I mentioned above. Edited February 8, 2019 by edgygirl 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Nilfiry Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 Random approaching wasn't a thing 25 years ago. Or at least, it rarely happened to me and it was only socially inept guys who tried it. I said it was easier to back then--not that it was a thing--because people were not as jumpy about talking to random strangers. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted February 9, 2019 Share Posted February 9, 2019 I am 24 and have never had a guy ask for my number out in public before [...] Do you think it is a sign that I could be unattractive? I don't think you should focus on guys not asking for your number, rather on guys approaching you. Do guys ever try to approach you? If I think of it, I was approached in (disco) clubs, at a party or outing, at a wedding reception, at a café, at a dinner with friends where a neighbor dropped by (but ended up spending all night), in a hotel while vacationing, at school, etc. Some guy from hotel staff handed me his mobile number (this happened in recent years while in the U.S.), and it was a 4-star hotel in some big city. Other than that, I don't recall people asking for my number... So, the matter is: have guys been approaching you at all? If the answer is no, then I think you have any right to wonder why. If you have male friends, please ask for their opinion. It might have to do with the way you carry yourself, the way you look, the way you dress, or who knows what. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted February 9, 2019 Share Posted February 9, 2019 I've never cold approached a woman in my entire life....And I imagine that there are millions out there that are the same.. Couple that to the fact that yes, this relatively new #Metoo movement has also put a dent in what guys are willing to do or say to women on the street... Also, some women are just not approachable...And no, its not just because they are so awesome that guys get intimidated, its just that they have this imaginary force field around them that no man wants to penetrate...These types run the gamut from butt ugly to knockout... So it could be a combination of things...My advise is that if they aren't coming to you, and you see something you want, then make a move.... TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author plindle Posted February 9, 2019 Author Share Posted February 9, 2019 (edited) I don't think you should focus on guys not asking for your number, rather on guys approaching you. Do guys ever try to approach you? If I think of it, I was approached in (disco) clubs, at a party or outing, at a wedding reception, at a café, at a dinner with friends where a neighbor dropped by (but ended up spending all night), in a hotel while vacationing, at school, etc. Some guy from hotel staff handed me his mobile number (this happened in recent years while in the U.S.), and it was a 4-star hotel in some big city. Other than that, I don't recall people asking for my number... So, the matter is: have guys been approaching you at all? If the answer is no, then I think you have any right to wonder why. If you have male friends, please ask for their opinion. It might have to do with the way you carry yourself, the way you look, the way you dress, or who knows what. To everyone, yes I do live in America. I have never even had a guy give me his phone number when I go out to regular places. That's another thing that worries me because I hear it happening to other women but it absolutely never happens to me and makes me feel so sad like I am so unattractive to men that they don't want to talk to me. I don't really go to clubs or bars. I pretty much never get approached anywhere I go, maybe only once a year. Only once last year I got approached and the guy just approached me to tell me I was beautiful thats it. Edited February 10, 2019 by plindle Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted February 10, 2019 Share Posted February 10, 2019 Men these days are terrified to even look at a woman so it is not because there is anything wrong with you. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted February 10, 2019 Share Posted February 10, 2019 (edited) Far from terrified of such a natural thing here we enjoy and they seem to too, well l would if l was single anyway. But the point's still the same even more so where you are op by the sounds. You really need some kind of social environment, parties friends clubs whatever. Edited February 10, 2019 by chillii 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 10, 2019 Share Posted February 10, 2019 (edited) Men these days are terrified to even look at a woman so it is not because there is anything wrong with you. Yeah, my bestie had a guy at a club trying to chat her up and getting very handsy on her back and arms. She didn't like him and was really uncomfortable so she tried to leave him behind. But he followed her and kept touching her. So she lectured him on consent. THEN he disappeared. Honestly, if it takes a lecture on consent to get a guy to back off, I really don't have any sympathy for him. If dudes in general can't cope with a woman who's snippy when she's approached, then they should blame the men before them who have put her on high alert. Edited February 10, 2019 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
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