Is this my narcisstic ex? Or am I thinking too far? if it is her then what is her pro

[fajberman2]

Long story short this girl left me for another one 4 months ago and we havent spoken for about 3 months, she wanted to be friends but i rejected her, she's been mocking me ever since the break up, laughing, spereading lies, she was telling people I begged her back (Which I never did) matter of fact I didn't really bother doing anything, I kinda just let her go I put no effort into gettig her back or anything, and she was telling my friend that I was apparently mentally abusive and bs like that.

 

She's been with her boyfriend longer than with me now, which I'm happy with because she seems to be a narc, which makes me surprised why she still cares enough to bother my life, so recently about 3 weeks ago she called my friend and said that she was in a car accident and asked if he's home, to which he said no, and she asked if I'm home to which my friend said ''He's not coming to help'' and hung up, according to my friend when he said that she started saying what? in a surprised voice as if she full on expected me to turn up in the hostpital, I believe that was a definate lie, she didn't have a car accident, she was fine couple days later in the hospital, funny enough why does she need my help? She left me for boyfriend, her family could help or friends.

 

Couple days after that some random account on instagram tried following my friend, which has my favourite rapper's face, and a random name, it followed about 130 people and only had 8 followers and one of them followers was my ex, the account was following her, and she was following the account, also that account was following her boyfriend and my friend's ex's account.

 

This same account that tried following my friend, watched my instagram story yesterday night out of the blue, I can't be overthinking this because 8 followers and it's my ex? and it has my favourite rapper's face as a profile picture? This can't be a coincidence. I find it really weird that's shes been doing all these things trying to get my attention when she has a boyfriend who she left me for, he should be enough attentiion for her, sad enough she downgraded big time and I'm doing great in life right now, what could this be? She didn't watch my stories from her main account at least for about 3 months, and randomly this account that is connected to her watches my story.

[preraph]

Block any new accounts for now unless you really know the person. Yes, sounds like she wants attention. Just keep her totally blocked and ask any friends not to give out any info about you to her. (and family). Just put her behind you. She just is retaliatory. I wouldn't worry about what she says to people because as long as you don't bring her up at all or talk about her except maybe to just ask no one passes along info about you, they will see it's her being the problem.

[Curiousroxy86]

Look up narcissist Hoover this will explain.

[fajberman2]

Block any new accounts for now unless you really know the person. Yes, sounds like she wants attention. Just keep her totally blocked and ask any friends not to give out any info about you to her. (and family). Just put her behind you. She just is retaliatory. I wouldn't worry about what she says to people because as long as you don't bring her up at all or talk about her except maybe to just ask no one passes along info about you, they will see it's her being the problem.

 

Yeah exactly but the thing is we broke up 4 months ago and haven't talked about 3 months and I honestly hope we never will, she's been doing this for about 3 months now and it's odd, I find it super weird, especially since she has her narcissistic supply A.K.A her boyfriend, it doesn't make sense, shes off everything, I dont talk to her at all and i do my best to avoid any contact.

[fajberman2]

Look up narcissist Hoover this will explain.

 

I mean I know what it is but doesn't really make sense to why she'd hoover me if she's in a relationship with somebody else lol, he should be more than enough fuel for her sick mind

[Versacehottie]

yes i think its likely its her

[lurker74]

The term narcissist gets thrown around a lot but in this case, it may be accurate. And if it is, her behavior is completely predictable. Narcissists cannot stand failure or loss so the idea that someone is fine moving on without her will trigger narcissistic injury. Clearly she has enough inside knowledge about you to know how to manipulate you to some degree because you're currently upset (even if only to a small degree) and have allowed her to follow you despite knowing it was her.

 

Learn to laugh it off, tell your friends not to pass on information, and move on. You cannot convince her to leave you alone. You just have to accept that you need to let it burn out.

[TheFinalWord]

Like you said, she downgraded and she may be regretting her decision and is testing to see if she can get you back. When you go no contact and don't chase, it can drive someone nuts because it's like they dumped you, but you're not giving them any power by acting like you care. On top of that she did everything she could to get under your skin like spread lies and you didn't react. You're basically showing that you don't care she dumped you. And good for you. She showed her true colors, threw you away like a piece of trash. She doesn't deserve you. You're right to ignore her and to really go no contact you also have to stop doing all this investigative work into what she is doing. Try to spend that time finding someone else to date.

[elaine567]

Who diagnosed her as a narcissist, a psychiatrist, or you?

[fajberman2]

The term narcissist gets thrown around a lot but in this case, it may be accurate. And if it is, her behavior is completely predictable. Narcissists cannot stand failure or loss so the idea that someone is fine moving on without her will trigger narcissistic injury. Clearly she has enough inside knowledge about you to know how to manipulate you to some degree because you're currently upset (even if only to a small degree) and have allowed her to follow you despite knowing it was her.

 

Learn to laugh it off, tell your friends not to pass on information, and move on. You cannot convince her to leave you alone. You just have to accept that you need to let it burn out.

Yes you're 100% right but she doesnt follow me on instagram nor snapchat, this account that is watching my stories doesn't follow me but it follows my ex and my ex follows it, it watches everything, it started doing this yesterday, out of the blue.

[fajberman2]

<snip>You're right to ignore her and to really go no contact you also have to stop doing all this investigative work into what she is doing. Try to spend that time finding someone else to date.

 

Yeah that is definitely the way forward and thanks for that, I'm not bothered about her at all, matter of fact I have no feelings for this girl anymore nor I care about her actions, I only made this post out of curiosity to know what drives a narc to do this after 4-5 months.

Edited February 9, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Truncate quote

[fajberman2]

Who diagnosed her as a narcissist, a psychiatrist, or you?

 

Her behaviour shows it, she didn't care about her ex of 8 months after they broke up it seemed like they never even dated when me and her started dating, she got obseesed over me for really no reason at all, and she does this with every guy, she admitted it to herself that she uses guys to hurt them for whatever reason, she's been a complete pain whenver I saw her in public, being petty and horrible for no reason, she didn't even seem to care about me when she left me, the only time I saw regret in her eyes is when she asked to be friends but I'm pretty sure that was to manipulate me, there's more to it but I'd be writing a book if I had to name everything.

[preraph]

Yeah exactly but the thing is we broke up 4 months ago and haven't talked about 3 months and I honestly hope we never will, she's been doing this for about 3 months now and it's odd, I find it super weird, especially since she has her narcissistic supply A.K.A her boyfriend, it doesn't make sense, shes off everything, I dont talk to her at all and i do my best to avoid any contact.

 

Well, maybe that's how long it took her to get that you were gone for good. Or maybe she heard something, true or false, that ticked her off. Whatever. It's over and she's being retaliatory, so best to just plug the leaks.

[fajberman2]

Well, maybe that's how long it took her to get that you were gone for good. Or maybe she heard something, true or false, that ticked her off. Whatever. It's over and she's being retaliatory, so best to just plug the leaks.

 

Yeah you're right tbh I find it so pointless and so chilidsh at the same time, she's just wasting my thoughts while I could be wasting my energy on something more productive

[Curiousroxy86]

I mean I know what it is but doesn't really make sense to why she'd hoover me if she's in a relationship with somebody else lol, he should be more than enough fuel for her sick mind

 

Well Narcs tend to not be monogamous. They are notorious orbiters circling back to previous victims/exes for whatever supply they think can get out of them. Some people say they never truly leave their exes alone *shrugs*. Also don't forget that the person that is suppose to be their primary source can just as easily get devalued. So maybe boyfriend is in the black and she is on the hunt looking to re-idealize guys of her past. Who knows what the primary motives of a narc are. All we know is absolutely no good smh.

[elaine567]

Her behaviour shows it, she didn't care about her ex of 8 months after they broke up it seemed like they never even dated when me and her started dating, she got obseesed over me for really no reason at all, and she does this with every guy, she admitted it to herself that she uses guys to hurt them for whatever reason, she's been a complete pain whenver I saw her in public, being petty and horrible for no reason, she didn't even seem to care about me when she left me, the only time I saw regret in her eyes is when she asked to be friends but I'm pretty sure that was to manipulate me, there's more to it but I'd be writing a book if I had to name everything.

None of that proves she is a narcissist...

[fajberman2]

Well Narcs tend to not be monogamous. They are notorious orbiters circling back to previous victims/exes for whatever supply they think can get out of them. Some people say they never truly leave their exes alone *shrugs*. Also don't forget that the person that is suppose to be their primary source can just as easily get devalued. So maybe boyfriend is in the black and she is on the hunt looking to re-idealize guys of her past. Who knows what the primary motives of a narc are. All we know is absolutely no good smh.

 

That's a really good point there, whatever she's planning I'm staying away from it.

[fajberman2]

None of that proves she is a narcissist...

 

Playing with people's feeling and then next day dumping them doesn't prove any of that? She used me like shes used her ex and is using her boyfriend for whatver reason, she has no remorse and she doesn't care about anyone, she ditched her friend of 6 years for a boyfriend she knew for a month, she doesn't have any life goals and she's a h*e, she has no morals and goes from guy to guy in a blink of an eye, I was warned about what she's like but I liked her too much to not talk to her and I learned the hard way, I can assure you she is a narc if she isn't there's definately something wrong with her and is definately related to narcisizm.