Grisha Posted February 9, 2019 Share Posted February 9, 2019 (edited) We’ve been apart for almost 4 months. I recently posted a status on my fb explaining how I had a crazy dream about me chasing someone through a jungle and got confronted by a jaguar and I ended up running the opposite way. My ex and I have remained friends on fb. She texted me asking who the person was. I didn’t respond the entire day because I wasn’t sure if I should tell her the truth which was her. As I’m driving to the gym that night I see her in the car right next to me. I freak out and can’t believe it. I look over 3 times and can’t believe my eyes. She lives 15 miles from where I seen her.. she didn’t end up seeing me. The next day I cave in and respond to the text telling her the entire dream and that I saw her at the light and she confirmed she was in that area around that time. She calls me and tells me she had a very similar dream and she started telling me how hard her life has been and that the past 3-4 weeks she’s been really thinking about me and said she was missing me.. I didn’t say it back. So when I got off the phone with her I got ready and started driving to the gym. 4 miles into the drive I see her freaking car in the lane right next to mine. We ended up at a red light together and she looks over at me shocked and we both couldn’t believe what was happening. 2 times within 24 hours! In areas far from both of our places! She texts me that night and we send a couple texts back and forth and I left it on read... Talk about moving on... I was doing so well.. now I can’t help but wonder what she’s feeling or if maybe I should ask to spend time together? Edited February 9, 2019 by Grisha Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 9, 2019 Share Posted February 9, 2019 The dreams & the coincidental meetings are not the answers to your Qs. You don't have to tell me or LS but do you know why you & her broke up? Have those issues been corrected & fixed? If yes, you can consider reconciliation. If not, what are you really going back to, something that you already know doesn't work, so what is the point? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 9, 2019 Share Posted February 9, 2019 Your past threads about her indicate that she is not very emotionally mature or very stable. The relationship was fraught with bizarre problems and she bounced around between you and her ex. If you go back for more, know that you are very likely just signing up for more heartache for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted February 9, 2019 Share Posted February 9, 2019 ?? So you go to the gym, acplace you probably frequent on a normal schedule and you see you ex twice in 2 days? Sounds like you are being stalked. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted February 9, 2019 Share Posted February 9, 2019 I have never been one to believe in coincidences.... She is making those meetings happen... Like Donnivan said, if the reasons for the breakup have not been worked through then reconciliation isn't possible.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Grisha Posted February 9, 2019 Author Share Posted February 9, 2019 (edited) Both times were at two different locations about 2-3 miles from the destination. I decided to go to a different gym because I was visiting my mom and it was along the way. Also both times I was the one that came from behind her and pulled up to the light next to her. There’s just no way she could’ve timed it like that and she has a life lol. The reason we broke up was because she couldn’t give me 100%. We are both in our early 20s so I was completely fine with dating and being intimate. We were exclusive as well so I was fine with that too. After about 9 months she sent me a long text saying she didn’t feel like we were meant for each other (she’s very spiritual and for whatever reason felt her intuition telling her that) she told me that because of this she no longer was able to go on dates with me and sleep with me. I got a bit upset but kept my composure and told her that if thatÂ’s how she feels then we should not be together and should cut all ties. She was hesitant but ended up following through for only the first week. She would send texts every week or so to which I was very minimal to. I’m not sure if she dated anyone since but I have gone out and met 2 women who IÂ’m dating but I still love my ex and know that she never fully let me go. ThereÂ’s just no way. We had so much respect for one another that itÂ’s too hard to completely walk away from. So now all of this happened and I’m certain I wasn’t being followed or stalked. Ex’s that dump you don’t stick around like this. I’ve been on both ends. When I dump someone that I care about I walk away from them and never give them any hints of getting back. Ik she lives me and cares about me and I have already told her to not communicate with me unless she wants reconciliation. She told me she understood and wouldn’t contact me but after a month she started contacted me and then all of this happened 2 days ago. Edited February 10, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Fix formatting and add paragraphs Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 9, 2019 Share Posted February 9, 2019 (edited) So, in other words, you want this to mean something. You want to be get back together her, correct? You are going to learn the hard way that this woman doesn't love or respect you the way you hope. It's more likely that her ex has dumped her again and she's lonely and wants attention. She knows you will respond. Go back and have a read through your old threads if you need a reminder of why she isn't girlfriend material for you. Edited February 9, 2019 by ExpatInItaly 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Grisha Posted February 9, 2019 Author Share Posted February 9, 2019 So, in other words, you want this to mean something. You want to be get back together her, correct? You are going to learn the hard way that this woman doesn't love or respect you the way you hope. It's more likely that her ex has dumped her again and she's lonely and wants attention. She knows you will respond. Go back and have a read through your old threads if you need a reminder of why she isn't girlfriend material for you. Yes if that was the case then I wouldn’t go back to her. But I’m 100% certain this isn’t the case because I found out that he was still into her and wanted to be with her while she was with me and sleeping with me. That’s why she moved out of his house as soon as she could. (She has had a terrible year with finances and California isn’t cheap) Anyways. I’m 100% sure our breakup doesn’t have to do with her ex for many reasons. So if it wasn’t because of her ex I’m now re considering things. Especially because ik how to attract women a lot more now than I did a year ago. I was always way too nice and gave her everything she wanted because I felt that’s how I should be. While now I learned to treat all women equally and that has made girls fall for me a lot easier now. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted February 9, 2019 Share Posted February 9, 2019 ^^^^^^^ correct. Dating is a tryout. What did the past tell you? There is no magic fairy tales bud. Her X dumped her 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 9, 2019 Share Posted February 9, 2019 Yes if that was the case then I wouldn’t go back to her. But I’m 100% certain this isn’t the case because I found out that he was still into her and wanted to be with her while she was with me and sleeping with me. That’s why she moved out of his house as soon as she could. (She has had a terrible year with finances and California isn’t cheap) Anyways. I’m 100% sure our breakup doesn’t have to do with her ex for many reasons. Wait, she was sleeping with you while still living with her ex? How did you find out he still wanted her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Grisha Posted February 9, 2019 Author Share Posted February 9, 2019 (edited) Wait, she was sleeping with you while still living with her ex? How did you find out he still wanted her? M They broke up in 2015 and she has already dated 2 other guys since. She has known him since 2012 and has been close with his family so when things became difficult she moved in with his family in their guest house. I’ve known her since 2016 and started dating her in 2018 while she was in the process of moving into their guest house. She told me that she knew was she was doing was unethical but had no choice because she has no family or close friends here in California and they offered the house rent free. A room in our area is upwards to $1,000 and she makes near minimum wage. (I don’t want to get into her personal debt problems) Her ex was still into her and was single at the time and she’d tell me how she was afraid to tell him and his family that she was sleeping with me while living with his family. I understood the situation and told her she didn’t have to tell them. After a few weeks she started telling me how her ex was attempting to rekindle which was making her feel uncomfortable and that she had no space. She spent most nights at her co workers and tried avoiding him as much as possible. She was desperately trying to find a cheap place to live and finally found a spot while things went sideways with us. Her life was a complete mess while we were together. Edited February 10, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs Link to post Share on other sites
Author Grisha Posted February 9, 2019 Author Share Posted February 9, 2019 ^^^^^^^ correct. Dating is a tryout. What did the past tell you? There is no magic fairy tales bud. Her X dumped her Her ex didn’t dump her. She left him years ago. She’s left every guy she dated and every one of those guys chased her to the point of getting blocked or having her file restraining orders. Link to post Share on other sites
Occitanie Posted February 10, 2019 Share Posted February 10, 2019 (edited) 2 times within 24 hours! In areas far from both of our places! She texts me that night and we send a couple texts back and forth and I left it on read... Talk about moving on... I was doing so well.. now I can’t help but wonder what she’s feeling or if maybe I should ask to spend time together? Man, you really blew your chance with her. She calls you because she had a “similar dream”, to tell you how hard her life has been and that she misses you... DUDE that was your cue to invite her over to yours to make dinner together. A woman, especially a dumper, will rarely ever get in touch and invite you out. She put herself in your orbit hoping you’d set up a date, but you didn’t. Edited February 10, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 10, 2019 Share Posted February 10, 2019 OP, you make a lot of excuses for her and were rather naive to take her at her word that everything she was telling you about her ex(es) was true. She is the common denominator with all these so-called "crazy" men who apparently wanted her so much. Can you not do better than this? You know you can. Link to post Share on other sites
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