flume Posted February 9, 2019 Share Posted February 9, 2019 So, the thing is I have this habit of getting fixated on something usually irrational fears and those keep ruminating in my mind. Has happened multiple times in the past. Now that I am broken up, I just keep thinking of my ex or lurking on loveshack. I have been using Headspace and it is helping to an extent. But I am unable to distract my mind from my ex. While I try coping up with it, I keep on lurking here which I feel I need to stop. I am not on any social media so that takes away another outlet to keep myself distracted. Any suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
Rayce Posted February 9, 2019 Share Posted February 9, 2019 Sorry no suggestions here but I know how you feel. I am also spending a lot of time here... 2 months now. LS has replaced FB for me. I normally would be working on something creative but since the beginning of Dec... all my creativity feels dead. I feel really stuck. The fact that I also lost my job makes it even worst...I've been snowed in for days now and for days to come. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 9, 2019 Share Posted February 9, 2019 Exercise and Yoga / meditation / mindfulness / prayer --- take your pick. Link to post Share on other sites
nolanola Posted February 10, 2019 Share Posted February 10, 2019 So, the thing is I have this habit of getting fixated on something usually irrational fears and those keep ruminating in my mind. Any suggestions? I totally understand about obsessing and ruminating. I told my therapist this and she said that rumination can actually have a purpose. It can help you to process what is happening and to come to accept it. So the more that you think about why your ex broke up with you, the more you come to accept that you ARE broken up and stop resisting it. I don't know how this is working for me yet. I've been ruminating a lot about what my ex is doing with the new person he's seeing and I don't know that it's helping me at all. But maybe it is, I don't know. I don't have the urges to look at her Facebook page or to look at his stuff online as much anymore. Although it still comes up from time to time. I took a break from here last week for a day or two and have been spending less time since then because I've been busy with work mostly. But on a night like tonight, where I feel sad and down, reading other people's stories can be soothing. I also found some podcasts where people talk about their breakups and how they got through it. Just hearing that other people struggled, sometimes for months, but eventually were able to feel better, is really helpful. When it's pretty fresh after the breakup, I don't think it's bad to spend a lot of time working through your thoughts. I am really trying to be kind to myself. I already feel so low and worthless. I don't need to beat myself up any further about how terrible it is to think the way I think or to do things like read a message board. Link to post Share on other sites
Author flume Posted February 10, 2019 Author Share Posted February 10, 2019 Exercise and Yoga / meditation / mindfulness / prayer --- take your pick. I use headspace for meditation. Funnily, I was very actively exercising during the end of the end of the breakup. Lately, I am just too drained to go to the gym. I don't need to beat myself up any further about how terrible it is to think the way I think or to do things like read a message board. I think I am going to hold on to this. Often I become too harsh to myself and there is a surge of emotion and then a downward spiral. Link to post Share on other sites
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