My. Boyfriend is way more popular than me and it's causing me sooo many problems

[Olivia_daviss]

About 3 months ago I started dating the most popular guy he is on literally every sports team his grades are perfect you can ask anyone and they will know him and when we started dating me the other girls have started hating me they tell me he lowered his standards for me but whenever I go anywhere without him people people won't talk to me or stick gum in my hair (this happens maybe twice a week) I am admittedly a kinda lonely and now even more lonely nerd but is there any way I can stop this happening why do so many other girls do this to me these are 19 year old girls is this normal for a relationship (this is my first boyfriend) I also have started wondering why does he even like me he could have anyone so why a lonely nerd

Edited February 9, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Formatting

[Garcon1986]

Welcome to LS!

 

I remember when I was 19, my emotions were like trying to keep a fishing boat afloat in the Alaskan ocean. Wild times. Here are some truths of relationships to consider:

 

1. Love is a precious thing. If your man is giving you the love you are looking for, why should you feel ashamed about it? Cherish love when you have someone trying to give it to you.

 

2. If someone is trying to bully you, even other women, perhaps you can learn self defense? Take up Krav Maga lessons. Then other women will know if they push you around, they will end up with their face in the sand. They will then leave you alone.

 

3. Outer confidence and self confidence are so important. Why are you allowing your classmates to dictate how you feel? You are the captain of your own boat. So what if your boyfriend has more friends than you do. When you are a successful professional, and take this from me, a man with his own job - none of this will matter. Take some time to learn self confidence and presenting a great self image. Take some time to learn public speaking. Stand up to one of your greatest weakness - being a loner nerd. Your 25 year old self will thank you for it.

[preraph]

They're just jealous. I guess they feel entitled to him. Be sure and tell him which ones are being mean to you.

 

I might be suspicious, but he's been with you for three months, so he just likes you. Just because he's into sports doesn't mean he's all that different from you. People cling to sports people just to get some status. That doesn't mean that's what he's like inside. As long as he's dating you and not just using you some way, like for sex or homework, but taking you out on dates and being respectful and isn't keeping you waiting around, in other words, that it's not a one-way relationship, then just relax and enjoy it and let him know who is mean. If they cross a line, report them to your school.

[Garcon1986]

Don't let woman to woman locker room meddling and catfighting define who you are. It's a waste of energy.

[Olivia_daviss]

I just don't know how I would do this I'm so weak I hit someone in the mouth and they didn't flinch I'm quite sure he does like me but my confidence level is close to zero it got even worse when my friends stopped wanting to be seen with me and when they have crossed the line before my school barely cared nobody thinks I'm good enough for him even people I haven't met yesterday I reported 2 girls for taking my phone and laptop posting things on my Instagram and pouring coyote urine on me but they honestly couldn't care less

[Olivia_daviss]

Also this guy carried our teams to the championship for the first time everyone wants to be his friend or girlfriend people think of it as the ultimate status symbol to have his number and this is in my entire town I can't escape this

[Garcon1986]

Work on your confidence! It's a real thing you can improve.

 

I am proud of you for punching another girl for disrespecting you.

 

The other girls are jealous of you. Learn how to safeguard your belongings from them and learn how to defend yourself from woman on woman meddling and catfighting. It's very possible to be the strongest woman in your class - you have to choose to be that woman first. Nobody here can help you if you don't choose to change your life and be religiously devoted to changing your life.

 

They don't get to decide your SELF WORTH.

[Olivia_daviss]

Do you literally mean go workout or be able to sleep without crying

[Garcon1986]

You should workout anyway to stay healthy no matter what anybody says.

 

As far as sleeping without crying, that will go away with time - if you make a voluntary choice to work on your confidence.

[Olivia_daviss]

If you mean go workout I went with him to the gym once but i could barely lift 5 pounds and he could lift 100 with one arm this is why I stopped going

[Garcon1986]

then keep on adding 5 pounds every three days after being consistently able to pull the weight you did the day before. That way you will have something to do and be proud of. Don't worry about his 100 lb, men are built to be more muscular anyway so that's no big deal.

[Olivia_daviss]

But how can you stand there taking abuse from dozens of people because you can barely lift your bag

[Garcon1986]

Go on the off hours when nobody is watching you.

[Garcon1986]

You don't have to listen to the people who are annoying you. Are they actually in your face yelling at you? Just don't pay attention to them or go to a gym they don't go to. Another option is to do progressive pushups in your house to weight train. Your own body is a great gym in itself.

 

No jealous woman is allowed to dictate your self worth to you unless you roll over, surrender, and let them kick you in the face.

 

So DONT' roll over, surrender, and let them kick you in the face. Period.

Edited February 10, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Merge

[Lotsgoingon]

So let's do a little exercise here ... mental exercise.

 

Tell us three reasons you think super-popular bf has chosen you over all the haters. Three reasons for why you think he likes you.

 

And just a quick background note: just because you're extroverted and popular doesn't mean you like all the people who you're popular with. One of the most charismatic people I know ... loves his time alone ... and feels exhausted doing the charisma thing in interacting with people ... though you would never know that from looking at him at a party.

 

There is something (I want three) that you are giving bf that he can't get from dating other women ...

[d0nnivain]

Petty jealous young women will be catty. What you describe goes waaaaaayyyyy beyond that. Putting gum in your hair? Trying to physically harm you? Social media bullying? Assuming you know who did these things, you need to take this behavior to your school. It violates the school's code of conduct & may be illegal. Let the authorities handle it.

 

If you also haven't realized it one of the reasons your guy is dating you is that these other women are absolutely horrible. They are mean, nasty, petty, aggressive & soulless. All of that makes them unattractive because they are so ugly on the inside.

 

You just keep being a good person but do report their psychopathic behavior.

[darkmoon]

you have a future to focus on

 

 

studying is not permanent... a steady job is ... you will never have to see those mean girls again once college is behind you and you are at work

 

 

more contraversially... you need a guardian or family member to talk to your college

Edited February 10, 2019 by darkmoon

[Olivia_daviss]

I they are actually standing in front of me yelling at me it's basically a way to get popular now whoever can do the craziest thing to me is thought of as the coolest But when he is around the same people are overly nice to me it makes me want to be sick whenever they do it

 

I can't think of three things I have nobody else has. He thinks I'm hot nobody else does. I'm not the smartest. As I said I have no idea why he likes me I'm pretty sure he does but I have no idea why

 

When I reported them taking my laptop and phone also pouring coyote urine on me they didn't care seriously nobody thinks I am good enough for him or they think I'm lying

Edited February 10, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Merge

[Olivia_daviss]

How can you bring yourself to reply if they are all a ton taller than you leaning down spitting in my face yelling and when I do reply it never goes well I told one of them if she was guy she would have huge balls because that's what it would take to act like a five year old in public I ended up blindfolded and tied to a tree

[Not very active]

OK olive you need to understand that there are many reasons to like you

1 your the prettiest girl I know

2 your so sweet and nice

3 when you do open up to someone you are the best friend you could have just keep going don't worry about them

[Not very active]

I have known this guy way longer than you and he has always dated people he called "basic bitch" cheerleaders he might just like you because you are different but still nice to be around

I'm so sorry that I can't always be there for you I try to help you whenever I can but I will do my best to help you

[Garcon1986]

Being blindfolded and tied to a tree is defined as assault and is an arrestable offense Olivia.

 

Your boyfriend likes you because you aren't a cruel mean worthless woman like your classmates are.

 

Your PRIORITY NUMBER ONE is to build your professional and financial future - AKA finish your studies at any cost.

 

Try to keep your boyfriend if you can, he seems like he treats you well still.

 

These women keep on harassing you because they get a rush out of intimidating you.

 

Look up the Kurdish YPJ female fighters, or the ladies of the Israeli Defense Forces. Nobody will touch these women with a 10 foot pole because if they mean any harm, they will live to regret it. Why can't you be one of those super strong ladies?

 

Learn self defense my friend. And don't get stuck in situations where you can be assaulted by your classmates. Go to the gym at random times when your classmates aren't there. Ask your boyfriend to throw them out of the gym. Your self confidence is low, therefore they continue to harass you. It will not change until you work on your self image and self confidence like a religion. It's your choice to either stay here and complain, or take our advice and work it into your life.

 

I challenge you to stand up and be the strongest woman you can be.

[Olivia_daviss]

OK I tried and it seems to have worked one girl dumped a coffee on my head I hit her in the face and blood started streaming out of her nose she now won't even look at me

[Garcon1986]

Ok you took your first step, congratulations. Now the next step is to be so aware of your surroundings, that you wouldn't let someone pour coffee on your head in the first place (i.e. arm block, stepping out of the way). Let these women know that you will not roll over and take it. Don't take it to an extreme and punch every woman that you see on the street, that's just going too far

 

Situational awareness goes hand in hand with self defense. The best self defense is to get out of situations or never be in situations where you will get assaulted in the first place.

[Olivia_daviss]

How can you not be in or aviod places where this happens it happens everywhere I go

 

I can't avoid it if it happens in lectures

Edited February 10, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Merge