d0nnivain Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 What are my other options to meet someone if I'm an introvert? Church Speed dating (but this may be tough, too many people at once) Spending time pursuing a hobby in a group At networking groups for business At continuing education seminars At alumni events In bookstores / libraries Through friends & family / getting fixed up Link to post Share on other sites
CantGetEnuff Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 Yeah OP you are nowhere near ready for bars. Listen to @d0nnivain, there are dozens and dozens of much easier settings that aren't meat markets. Personally I think social clubs where everyone has similar interests would be the easiest for you if you struggle with interactions. You have so many "in"s in a setting like that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 You sound very creepy. Nobody is going to want to sign on to being a lonely homebody. The only way to get someone’s interest is to be interesting. Branch out and develop more interests. You’ll likely meet people who share those same interests then work on striking up basic conversation. It can be as simple as “hey, how’s it goin?” 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted February 11, 2019 Author Share Posted February 11, 2019 You sound very creepy. Nobody is going to want to sign on to being a lonely homebody. The only way to get someone’s interest is to be interesting. Branch out and develop more interests. You’ll likely meet people who share those same interests then work on striking up basic conversation. It can be as simple as “hey, how’s it goin?” You see right there is why I don't socialize. You don't know anything about me so please don't accuse me of being "creepy" alright thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 Just stick me in the sucky person category then. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 I think what she's trying to say is that you're going to have trouble coming off as a fun guy to be around when you're in a situation where you don't want to be. You don't like crowds of people. You feel uncomfortable and annoyed. That's totally fine! I feel the same way. But what that means is that when I'm in a crowd, I probably look bored and grumpy, if not actually scared. If you were looking at a bunch of women and one of them looked really miserable and angry and like she wanted to leave, would she be the girl you'd try to flirt with? Probably not. The miserable girl doesn't look fun to be with. You don't want to approach people in a setting where you're unhappy. You'll be more likely to look miserable, so they won't want to talk to you, and that will make you feel even more unhappy. Chatting to people in an environment where you are sharing a hobby, though, means you can feel more comfortable. You have something to talk about. You can open up, get to know someone a little. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted February 11, 2019 Author Share Posted February 11, 2019 Well I'm sort of attracted to my cousines ex wife. She's single, I'm single, what would be the big deal? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 Well I'm sort of attracted to my cousines ex wife. She's single, I'm single, what would be the big deal? She was once married to our cousin. It's a big social no no. Get her out of your mind. You would end up pissing off most of your family. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted February 11, 2019 Author Share Posted February 11, 2019 She was once married to our cousin. It's a big social no no. Get her out of your mind. You would end up pissing off most of your family. Yea you're right, but if we slept together it wouldn't be anyones business right? Noone would have to know. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 Yes, in theory but she's not going to be down for that. You are too close to her EX. It'd be darn close to incest. It's just creepy. You asked how not to be creepy. Don't do this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 (edited) I was thinking about going to a restaurant with a bar to watch a game and what do I do if I see a girl I'm interested in? How do I approach without her thinking I'm a creep? What should I do?It depends on what kind of "creep" you are trying not to be. There are at least two different kinds that come to mind. One is the obnoxious Pickup Artist type (who actually isn't even any good at pickup). The other one is the nervous fearful low-confidence guy that just doesn't have a clue how to interact with a woman. They both creep women out but for almost exact opposite reasons. Basically creepy just means you make women feel awkwardly uncomfortable for any reason. Here are some search links to "creep" on YouTube in the dating context. https://www.youtube.com/user/coachcoreywayne/search?query=creep https://www.youtube.com/user/marnikinrys/search?query=creep Edited February 11, 2019 by PRW 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ChatroomHero Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 So now the new theory is that introverted and anti social men can't attract women.... The nonsense grows bigger by the day.... TFY Nobody besides you said, " anti social men can't attract women". But maybe you can explain how you think being anti-social and an introvert would ever help attract a woman? By definition anti-social means you will greatly limit the amount of women you have a chance to socialize with and form any meaningful bond with. Can an ugly guy attract a woman? Yup. Does being ugly help? Nope, is what it is. Can a guy with a huge lump growing on his forehead attract a woman? Sure. Will it help? Nope. is what it is. Can an anti-social guy attract a woman? Of course. Will it help attract a woman to be awkward socially and not like people in general? Maybe a select few women, but they probably dislike other people in general too and wouldn't go out of their way to pursue a guy. Good luck with those odds. If you are anti-social and introverted and think you don't have to change something about that to greatly, greatly, greatly, (did I say greatly?) increase your odds with women, that seems like a non-sense theory someone tells themselves to avoid the bigger action of making a personal change...it's easier to blame others and say it is their fault they are not attracted than to blame yourself and admit your personality is driving them away by your own choices and feeling crippled to change yourself. Is your point that introverts and anti-social people typically attract women just like every other guy, or just that it's not fair that they don't? I'm confused because it is such an easy concept, if you suck at socializing and interacting with women, it doesn't help you attract women. Just because you don't like the truth doesn't mean it's nonsense. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted February 11, 2019 Author Share Posted February 11, 2019 Yes, in theory but she's not going to be down for that. You are too close to her EX. It'd be darn close to incest. It's just creepy. You asked how not to be creepy. Don't do this. You're right and its ashame too. If only she didn't marry my cousin. I really like her too, but I should not go there. It wouldn't be good for both of us honestly. I'll say this I think he made a mistake divircing her. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 What do you like about her? Answer that Q, then go find a woman with similar traits. If you & she are still in touch, ask her to fix you up but do stay away from her. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 Is your point that introverts and anti-social people typically attract women just like every other guy, or just that it's not fair that they don't? I'm confused because it is such an easy concept, if you suck at socializing and interacting with women, it doesn't help you attract women. Just because you don't like the truth doesn't mean it's nonsense. It's very simple...And it has nothing to do what me "not liking the truth"...it's just that the claims people make are absolute nonsense....in my opinon... You will never hear me say I struggle or can't understand how this game works..I've done great with women...Better than most guys...That despite the fact that not only am I an introvert, but am also kind of a jerk...I hate socializing, don't like most people, and never once cold approached a woman or ever even made a first move...Amazing, right?? Yes, I do believe that the "lone wolf" type of guy, anti social, yet has a lot going for him in other areas(this is key), will usually do far better than the "life of the party/back slapping/bs' types... It's been my experience that guys that do great with interacting/talking to women, also do horrible with dating, relationships, or getting laid...They are the perpetual buddies, friendzoners, orbiters and the like... So continue with the others to give your advice...You are entitled to just like everyone else...If I had to counsel a struggling guy, telling him to learn how to socialize with women would be faaaaaar down on the list... TFY 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 Honestly? If you want to use a bar to meet people...don't do it at night (after say 7pm) Happy Hour at a corner pub/sports bar/steak house? You will likely meet a lot of people and there are likely going to be a bunch of people there by themselves just de-compressing/grabbing a bite to eat/watching a game or the news. You can easily chat with someone sitting next to you about whatever is on tv. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 YTell her you hope she has a great night with her friends, raise your glass and say "Cheers", smile and walk or turn away.The "walk away" part is a bad way to go. It is like the first approach scene in the movie Hitch, it led to some bad tactics in the movie after that. But in Hollywood movies they can get away with crap. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 Just talk and be natural. At the end of the day women are people and while the women who will call a guy a creep simply for smiling at them are very loud the vast majority of women are not like that. Treat women like people who are not much different than you and you should do well. It always worked for me. Link to post Share on other sites
ChatroomHero Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 So continue with the others to give your advice...You are entitled to just like everyone else...If I had to counsel a struggling guy, telling him to learn how to socialize with women would be faaaaaar down on the list... TFY He SPECIFICALLY for advice about how to pick up women, so there's that. People weren't ranking his list of everything else, they were answering his question about socializing with the intent to pick up women while being anti-social. Despite all of your anecdotal success and the failures of the social and outgoing people that you claim, being anti-social and an introvert and disliking people in general will not help him with women. Link to post Share on other sites
ChatroomHero Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 The "walk away" part is a bad way to go. It is like the first approach scene in the movie Hitch, it led to some bad tactics in the movie after that. But in Hollywood movies they can get away with crap. Could be, the walk away puts it in her court though. It keeps it from being, "I bought you a drink so you talk to me!!!!" interaction. Especially if you are sitting at a bar, if she has any interest the next drink she orders she will come to the same spot and say something to you. If you are worried about being a creeper or you come off poorly with a cold approach, I think it's better to serve the ball and let her return it by her own choice. At that point there is nothing creepy about engaging in a conversation with a stranger because she came back to talk willingly. Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 Could be, the walk away puts it in her court though. That assumes she is even wanting to "play",...and that you don't have competition that steps in right after you walk away. In a small quiet bar with little traffic and her interest in you was good enough,...it may work,...maybe. But as the guy in the video said,...they usually don't follow up on you that easily. they may just think you are a dick for walking away, or that you didn't have what it takes to "stay". Even if you actually just had a real honest live "date" with them it may take 3 or so dates before they start to reach out to you on their own. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 He SPECIFICALLY for advice about how to pick up women, so there's that. People weren't ranking his list of everything else, they were answering his question about socializing with the intent to pick up women while being anti-social. Despite all of your anecdotal success and the failures of the social and outgoing people that you claim, being anti-social and an introvert and disliking people in general will not help him with women. Again....It's simple.. Being outgoing and extroverted won't help either...Particularly when it's not who you really are..You will flop......in an epic way.... I try to give guys the no BS answer...No disrespect, but there are very few guys on here period, and of those, most are the "woe is me" types..Women try to help, and they are well intentioned, but most give advice that will never really work... The best thing an introverted and anti social guy can do to not be seen as a creep is to work on himself...be somebody, do something noteworthy, have some success in life...Take a look in the mirror and ask himself if any woman would want to be naked with him..If not, how could he change that...These types of things... Just trying to be someone he isn't won't do shyt....Period... TFY 3 Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 I'm one of the most introverted guys I know. I decided to back off on dating,...and suddenly I have two dates with two different women this week, a 3rd one I talked to last night that may be next on the list. Being introverted is not a hindrance, in fact it has been a strength. I just step in after the Extroverts that don't know what they are doing bomb out and make me look good. Anti-social does not belong in the same sentence with Introvert. BTW - Introvert does not mean "shy" if I haven't already said that,...again,...like I always do. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 That assumes she is even wanting to "play",...and that you don't have competition that steps in right after you walk away. In a small quiet bar with little traffic and her interest in you was good enough,...it may work,...maybe. But as the guy in the video said,...they usually don't follow up on you that easily. they may just think you are a dick for walking away, or that you didn't have what it takes to "stay". Even if you actually just had a real honest live "date" with them it may take 3 or so dates before they start to reach out to you on their own. As a woman I see a guy walking away, as a guy not interested or a player playing games... Neither of which is interesting to me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 (edited) As a woman I see a guy walking away, as a guy not interested or a player playing games... Neither of which is interesting to me.I guess she could sh**t test him and shout over to where he went,..."Too hot for ya? Ya have to step away from the heat?":D Edited February 12, 2019 by PRW Link to post Share on other sites
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