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was my ex a narcissist, or just not that into me?


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Thank you so much for your insight. Everybody is so quick to give an opinion and not so quick to empathize. I know what I experienced, I also know what I’m attracted to from being raised by an emotionally abusive narcissist who made love conditional, much like my relationship with Drew. Where as his actions show his character, they are still traumatic to the person getting abandoned. I knew in my heart that he wasn’t being fair to me. But I so badly wanted to believe the fantasy. I won’t let this person dictate my self worth. I have made it through a lot in life, and I have a pretty strong emotional understanding of people. As I said before, I felt like I was dating a robot, his words, everything felt scripted and non calculated. Reminded me of a version between my father and Patrick Bateman.

 

Well if you really feel this way it should be easy to move on from this man. You don't want this in your life do you? You did dodge a bullet and you need to start viewing this as such.

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It really doesn't matter if he's a narcissist or not...

Take some time for healing and focus on yourself. Block him from your life and social media and move on.

Exactly.

 

OP

You are not a psychiatrist, you are a damaged individual who needs help to right the wrongs in your life.

The focus needs to be on YOU, not him.

Who really cares what is wrong with him or if there is anything actually psychiatrically wrong with him?

He is not your problem, YOU are.

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People gave the opinion that he is not into you because he told you he wasn't in love, he didn't comfort you during your breakdown and never replied back to your text. Those are not the actions of a man who cares about you. This guy seems like a player and I think he really broke it off because he was probably chasing someone else. He posts pics of himself because he likes attention from women. Just like the women who post snapshots of themselves all day. I guess everyone these days is narcissistic.

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I wrote this today. And It kind of helped me see the battle with myself I’m dealing with

 

I’m trying to find the lesson in this

I look at my relationship from two perspectives,

The logic and the heart

The logic shows me, quite clearly

That the person I invested so much time and heart into

Wasn’t the person I thought he was

He wasn’t the person for me

He didn’t compliment me

Or ask about my job

Or ask how I am

Or sit down and have the tough convos

In the moments I was feeling low

My heart however, remembers the moments of waking up in bed with him

As his fingers traced down my spine

And the times he’d call me a whiskey girl

Because he showed me how to love a drink on the rocks

Some days logic is stronger

Other times, my heart beats and yearns for the person I lost

The precious moments that seemed so pivotal

And when I try to balance out

Which is more prevalent

I’m at a loss

Because, my heart was there the entire time

But logic was screaming run.

They say that true love is when

The mind, the soul and the heart align

You’re not kept up at night wondering

Is this person going to leave me?

Or am I enough?

Letting go doesn’t mean that the human interaction two people shared, meant nothing

But sometimes, love, relationships

Simply aren’t sustainable

Not because we aren’t enough, but because two people are wrong for each other.

It takes a strong woman to realize she was better off

And it takes a stronger woman to find the logic in a situation where her heart is trying to win

 

This whole process is waxing and waning. I look forward to the moment where I can let go of the heart, and live within the logic.

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I wrote this today. And It kind of helped me see the battle with myself I’m dealing with

 

I’m trying to find the lesson in this

I look at my relationship from two perspectives,

The logic and the heart

The logic shows me, quite clearly

That the person I invested so much time and heart into

Wasn’t the person I thought he was

He wasn’t the person for me

He didn’t compliment me

Or ask about my job

Or ask how I am

Or sit down and have the tough convos

In the moments I was feeling low

My heart however, remembers the moments of waking up in bed with him

As his fingers traced down my spine

And the times he’d call me a whiskey girl

Because he showed me how to love a drink on the rocks

Some days logic is stronger

Other times, my heart beats and yearns for the person I lost

The precious moments that seemed so pivotal

And when I try to balance out

Which is more prevalent

I’m at a loss

Because, my heart was there the entire time

But logic was screaming run.

They say that true love is when

The mind, the soul and the heart align

You’re not kept up at night wondering

Is this person going to leave me?

Or am I enough?

Letting go doesn’t mean that the human interaction two people shared, meant nothing

But sometimes, love, relationships

Simply aren’t sustainable

Not because we aren’t enough, but because two people are wrong for each other.

It takes a strong woman to realize she was better off

And it takes a stronger woman to find the logic in a situation where her heart is trying to win

 

This whole process is waxing and waning. I look forward to the moment where I can let go of the heart, and live within the logic.

 

I am going through a break-up too and feel EVERY SINGLE word of what you wrote.

 

Logic tells me to run, that we are wrong for each other, the heart tells me to try one more time because I miss him so much.

 

I'm starting to believe that you can love someone and still don't want to be with them in a relationship. Love is love, it just is. It's not attached to a relationship.

 

And I agree, true love is when heart, mind and soul are all aligned and it's a big YES at all times.

 

It's not easy this, but I think it's through love relationships that our bigger inner growth occurs.

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This whole process is waxing and waning. I look forward to the moment where I can let go of the heart, and live within the logic.

 

And you will.

 

It's still very fresh for you, so it's normal to be in a tug-of-war with your own emotions.

 

One thing you have learned here is that you can trust your gut. You sensed something wasn't quite right in the relationship. Listen to that voice in the future; your instinct was on-point.

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