Fridita Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 I've been working for a year and a half in small private organization. For the first year in the organization, I didn't think about my boss as a man who I could like, because I was breaking up with my boyfriend and I was little depressed that time, which caused me to ignore people in some ways. Few months ago I fully realized that there is a specific tension between me and my boss, especially when we are alone in the room. He is very open and friendly to anyone, but he seemed to be a bit unsure of himself when he is only with me. Plus he is quite protective about me and speaks with a softer voice. I also catch him staring at me few times, which made me pretty nervous (I catch him staring at me also in the past, but I didn't pay attention to it because of my personal problems).... In short - he makes me nervous, because of the tension between us, because of the fact I respect him a lot and I don't want to disappoint him as a worker. but because of his gazes, little jokes, intelligence, easy-going character and that kind of protective behavior I developed strong attraction to him which makes me quite angry, honestly. Not only because he is married, but also because I never want to mix job and personal things. I know myself, I would be able to overcome this, but I don't know how if he would keeping behaving the same way. I would expect more detached behavior from the man who is married. I cannot leave the job now, because of the important project I'm working on right now. Shortly, it would kill my career. Do you have some tips how to overcome this "crush" faster? How to stop being nervous around him? Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 (edited) He isn't doing that much, he has not even asked you out, just as well, since he is married. No need to be nervous, which he can probably see in your facial expression. He sounds flirty and sweet, just enjoy the flirtation. I suspect it lightens his day, and love has got to start somewhere. You have every right to ask him to come back if/when he divorces (I had a boyf who did!), and if/when he gets sexy rather than flirty. And then ideally, you want dates, not sex across a desk when everyone has gone home. And never be a side piece. Tell him to come back if/when single. Edited February 11, 2019 by darkmoon Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 Remind yourself of all the reasons this is wrong: He's married & he's your boss. Stop being alone with him. If you genuinely like him stay away from him. You are only messing up his life & possibly opening him up to losing his job. Do your job. Concentrate on the work then go home. Make a real effort to find a suitable BF to take your mind off him. Link to post Share on other sites
BourneWicked Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 If you go down this road, you will wonder how many other women have walked this path with him. The married man in my situation (not my boss, but he has others that report to him) I would bet has several people that work for him that feel the way you do. And honestly, he's kind of got a wandering eye. I thought I was special, until I noticed him acting the same way around other women. And yeah, he's that slightly shy, charming type too. Also, I basically feel like I ruined my career through these actions. I feel tainted, and like I can't quite trust myself anymore. So read around because there are plenty of threads where people went forward with a crush, and the consequences aren't pretty. Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 Crude saying: Don’t **** where you eat. He’s your boss. That’s your job. Your way or paying bills and your career. Do whatever you need to in order to knock those thoughts out of your head. Work is not the place to find anyone to date. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fridita Posted February 12, 2019 Author Share Posted February 12, 2019 He isn't doing that much, he has not even asked you out, just as well, since he is married. No need to be nervous, which he can probably see in your facial expression. He sounds flirty and sweet, just enjoy the flirtation. I suspect it lightens his day, and love has got to start somewhere. You have every right to ask him to come back if/when he divorces (I had a boyf who did!), and if/when he gets sexy rather than flirty. And then ideally, you want dates, not sex across a desk when everyone has gone home. And never be a side piece. Tell him to come back if/when single. thanks for your insight. I cannot enjoy flirtation since I know he is married (or in case I'm in a relationship/married). Maybe I'm too conservative, but it's not my style. Link to post Share on other sites
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