Lisa_Lisa Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 (edited) I've written about this guy before and I feel like everyone needs to hit their rock bottom before finally letting go and moving on. I'm very close to that. Please give me your interpretation of this back and forth between us and let me know your thoughts about how it comes off to you. Let me preface this by adding that he made a date with me before and cancelled the day of, he said he wanted to meet later in the week, but then cancelled entirely stating he'd let me know if he was ever ready. I let him go graciously, but he returned to make a last minute date that I declined. Now this. Please let me know if he was simply trying to be cruel to me. Him: Hey, save Weds or Thurs night for me. I want to cum visiting. Me: Cool, see you then <winky face emoji> Him: I'll come back to back if you'll have me. Let's see how much energy you have this week bella <kissy emoji, heart emoji> Me: I think you should worry about your energy. <raspberry emoji's> Him: Lol, maybe just Thurs then <kissy and wink emoji> Me: Lol <emoji's> Me: You can stop by Wed & Thurs if you like. If not, no worries. Him: Thank you, cutie Him: What time do you usually get home? From work I mean Me: About 6:15 pm Him: I'll try to remember that. It works well with my schedule <winky emoji> What are your thoughts about his intentions? Thanks for all your help!!! Edited February 13, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Add link to backstory, fix spacing Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 I see a lot of pretty clear innuendo about getting laid, but nothing that makes me think he's being cruel. Where do you see the potential cruelty? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 Why are you still talking to this guy? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lisa_Lisa Posted February 13, 2019 Author Share Posted February 13, 2019 Thursday is Valentine's Day and he wants to see me? Granted, it maybe for a couple of hours, but that's prime time couple stuff. And as far as I know, he's still with a certain someone so why would he come to see me when he might make plans with her? Is he doing this to ensure I don't have any other V-day plans except to wait for him? Obviously, I won't. I have someone I can call and things I can do, but I think he's being cruel in the fact that he won't come at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lisa_Lisa Posted February 13, 2019 Author Share Posted February 13, 2019 Why are you still talking to this guy? I enjoy the sex. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 If you already know he is with somebody else, what were you thinking when agreed to Valentine's Day? You set yourself up to be disappointed. Even if you like the sex & are open to being the OW, send him a note asking him to meet you tonight (Wednesday) & telling him that you are no longer available on Valentine's day. Even if you sit home alone in the dark on Thursday, that IMO is better then sitting there waiting & wondering & being pathetic. You would be better served making plans with friends. Re-read what he wrote. He said he would "try" to remember your schedule. that is NOT a firm date. He's going to blow you off. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lisa_Lisa Posted February 13, 2019 Author Share Posted February 13, 2019 Exactly my thoughts. He's going to cancel. So I was right. It's a joke. I feel like I gave him a way out of both nights when I wrote, "if not, no worries." Believe me, I'm not waiting around since I already know he's not coming. I just thought I was over-thinking if he's pranking me. I can always go dancing again that evening two blocks away from home. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 It's not a joke. He's got you in his back pocket and you have just cleared your schedule for a half-assed hookup. It's not a bonus that one of the days might be on valentines, it's kinda an insult (to me). You are acting all giddy (reading through the lines) and he's definitely not giving you his best or even a committed hookup date. I think he will cancel. He also already got the ego boost that he wanted. And the knowledge that you aren't dating anyone else since you cleared your schedule including valentines day. Girl, you're better than this, come on. Good luck 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 Why do you tolerate this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lisa_Lisa Posted February 13, 2019 Author Share Posted February 13, 2019 I'm always open to having sex with him and my thoughts venture to how it used to be way back when and I wonder if it'll be that way again. And I actually don't have any Valentine's Day plans if that is what he was wondering when he texted me for a possible ego boost. It's just the truth. Maybe I should have told him I have plans for Thursday, but it's been so long and I want him physically so badly. I feel ****ty, sure, but so much time has passed now that it's only a matter of time that these feelings for him will fade. I can't wait for that day, but until then this is how I seem to be operating. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 It's a joke. I just thought I was over-thinking if he's pranking me. It's not a joke & he's not pranking you. Part of him believes the lies he's telling you. It's just that when push comes to shove, he won't think about your feelings at all or the inconvenience he caused. he will just do what he wants even if that leaves you high & dry. He's not pranking you so much as he's using you & you let him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 Your feelings for him won't fade if you keep letting him into your thoughts and life. It will keep hurting your self-esteem to be used and dismissed and treated as "less than" especially when you ALLOW it. Why would you wait for rock bottom when you already know (and to be honest, you don't seem that far from it)? Lastly, not having plans on thursday is not a good reason to accept this. Like you said you could go dancing (where you would possibly meet someone new) or even stay home and enjoy your evening and plan how you are going to meet new guys. Lots of things are much better than agreeing to this treatment. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lisa_Lisa Posted February 13, 2019 Author Share Posted February 13, 2019 I know. I'm being way too hopeful for something that has long been dead. I just wanted to be a part of his life and I keep getting pulled and pushed. I'm glad that I've had discipline in NOT texting him at all. Ever since it ended, he's the one that's been reaching out to me. He even removed me as a friend from Snapchat and then re-added me for some odd reason. I know that's nothing to analyze though. I feel hurt knowing he doesn't want me in his life. I feel joyful when he expresses that he does want to see me, but ultimately I know he's not healthy for my own self-esteem. All we did was argue. People say he's toxic for me and I'm trying to wrap my head around how to let this one go because I've held on for so long. But I am meeting other guys and even had sex with one and we're supposed to see each other tonight, but it's not going to go anywhere long-term. We're in two different places mentally, but I want him to make me feel better albeit physically because emotionally I'm still down in the dumps. Link to post Share on other sites
Cersei Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 He likely does not even realize it's Valentine's day. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 I'm always open to having sex with him and my thoughts venture to how it used to be way back when and I wonder if it'll be that way again. And I actually don't have any Valentine's Day plans if that is what he was wondering when he texted me for a possible ego boost. It's just the truth. Maybe I should have told him I have plans for Thursday, but it's been so long and I want him physically so badly. I feel ****ty, sure, but so much time has passed now that it's only a matter of time that these feelings for him will fade. I can't wait for that day, but until then this is how I seem to be operating. If you're that horny for this guy what difference does any of this make? You know he already has a girlfriend. It sounds like he might want to hit you up for an early lay (what time do you get home from work - 6:15) and then spend Valentine's eve somewhere else. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 This is a booty call. Nothing more. At all. And it almost sounds like a backup booty call honestly. If you are down for that then great. But this is just sex. Period. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lurker74 Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 Wow. I get it. You feel sh**ty about yourself. Well, this is not a path toward feeling any better. It is not an ego boost to have a guy care so little about you that he just keeps you backburnered until he needs to get his rocks off and if he has any better options, he chooses them. Its things like this that make me sometimes question my decision to not be a jerk to women...there are far too many women that respond to being treated like crap. I don't see a joke or prank but that doesn't mean he'll show up. He may. And then he'll use your body and then leave. Not sure why that's so appealing since as a woman, you should be able to find that kind of shoddy treatment easily. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
divegrl Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 You were supposed to block this guy!!!!! What happened? What about the other guy who showed stable interest in you. Has he communicated back with you yet? Have a beautiful day my friend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lisa_Lisa Posted February 13, 2019 Author Share Posted February 13, 2019 If you're that horny for this guy what difference does any of this make? You know he already has a girlfriend. It sounds like he might want to hit you up for an early lay (what time do you get home from work - 6:15) and then spend Valentine's eve somewhere else. That's what I want. He'll come over, we'll do our thing and we can get on with the rest of our evening. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 I know. I'm being way too hopeful for something that has long been dead. I just wanted to be a part of his life and I keep getting pulled and pushed. I'm glad that I've had discipline in NOT texting him at all. Ever since it ended, he's the one that's been reaching out to me. He even removed me as a friend from Snapchat and then re-added me for some odd reason. I know that's nothing to analyze though. I feel hurt knowing he doesn't want me in his life. I feel joyful when he expresses that he does want to see me, but ultimately I know he's not healthy for my own self-esteem. All we did was argue. People say he's toxic for me and I'm trying to wrap my head around how to let this one go because I've held on for so long. But I am meeting other guys and even had sex with one and we're supposed to see each other tonight, but it's not going to go anywhere long-term. We're in two different places mentally, but I want him to make me feel better albeit physically because emotionally I'm still down in the dumps. As long as you respond to him & have sex with him you will continue to feel bad. No other person can make you feel good about yourself or pull you out of the doldrums but continuing to be in touch with him and having empty sex with him -- letting him use you -- will continue to hurt you emotionally. The pain you feel will stop once you block him & kick him out of your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lisa_Lisa Posted February 13, 2019 Author Share Posted February 13, 2019 Wow. I get it. You feel sh**ty about yourself. Well, this is not a path toward feeling any better. It is not an ego boost to have a guy care so little about you that he just keeps you backburnered until he needs to get his rocks off and if he has any better options, he chooses them. Its things like this that make me sometimes question my decision to not be a jerk to women...there are far too many women that respond to being treated like crap. I don't see a joke or prank but that doesn't mean he'll show up. He may. And then he'll use your body and then leave. Not sure why that's so appealing since as a woman, you should be able to find that kind of shoddy treatment easily. Don't treat women badly if that's not in your nature. And given the current circumstances, I just want sex now. I don't want his heart as I know it is one thing he'll never give. If he ever gave it to me, I'll probably break it, I'm not good at relationships/commitment anyways. I'm not looking to get married. I just somehow got hooked on this dude and haven't been able to shake him off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lisa_Lisa Posted February 13, 2019 Author Share Posted February 13, 2019 You were supposed to block this guy!!!!! What happened? What about the other guy who showed stable interest in you. Has he communicated back with you yet? Have a beautiful day my friend. I'm seeing the other guy. We communicate daily and we will see each other tonight and possibly tomorrow night as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 So you are going to help him perpetuate the fantasy in his head that he is a player with girls lusting after him...and the characterization that you are not worth of better treatment and just a sad booty call. I usually don't speculate what the other person is doing but in this case i would bet he's bringing his "best" with some girl he might really like but doesn't want to take her out on valentines or close to it because it will give her the wrong impression that they are more serious. yet you he can jerk around. I vaguely remember a story that the others seem to be referring to that might be yours and the guy really liked some girl who was long distance to him--if that's the right one, well again, he's just jerking you around because she's not in town. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 That's what I want. He'll come over, we'll do our thing and we can get on with the rest of our evening. So what is it your questioning? You've already got what you were after. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 Him: Hey, save Weds or Thurs night for me. I want to cum visiting. I stopped reading after I saw this. He has NO respect for you. He is treating you poorly, canceling dates and then making another date, then canceling again. This guy isn't into you, he may want to have sex with you but he certainly has no real genuine feeling for you. End it and forget him. He isn't worthy of your time and energy. Don't waste another minute on him. Life is too short to deal with players and aholes like him. Link to post Share on other sites
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