JuneL Posted February 22, 2019 Share Posted February 22, 2019 Ok but be realistic. Try to find a curious woman, they don't have to be as successful as these or have some pre-defined professions/interests. I think the kind of intelligent women you prob want doesn't give a s* about "game". It's just that you haven't crossed paths with the right one yet. True. But I don’t think not wanting a guy who tells offensive jokes means she likes to play games. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 22, 2019 Share Posted February 22, 2019 If I had to name my worst dislike about getting into a relationship - it would be the times where I get into an argument and the other person refuses to see my point of view... Hence I'm trying to find an intuitive lady who enjoys discussing the logical side of life, aka someone whose mind is built similarly to mine. OK, so an intellectual who has to ultimately conform to your view of the world... any dissent being frustrating and unacceptable to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted February 22, 2019 Share Posted February 22, 2019 Do you even know these two women personally? I find it odd that you keep mentioning their names, when you don’t know anything about each as a person. Each may way well be one who always wants to get her way in an argument. It’s no different from a girl saying in front of the screen Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise would be her done deal Or they could be cold fish in the sack...who knows?? TBH neither one is particularly physically attractive., but that's a subjective criteria.. But here's the thing....I have immense challenges when I leave the house for work...Both mental and sometimes physical. . Most guys don't work with their wives/gf's … So when they are home or with their SO is normally a time we de stress and give ourselves a bit of a break...Have some fun...Laugh a little, enjoy the other aspects of life that aren't always so serious of challenging... No one that has any degree of intelligence is going to want to pair up with a blithering idiot, but I really don't see why one would absolutely need an intellectual peer on all levels... Most guys in my experience gladly trade favorable hip/waist ratio or a tight ass and a great rack over a lot of the other criteria, and yes, I am talking about guys on the higher end of the success/intellect scale.. If you can get it all, great...But I don't think its necessary all the time... TFY Link to post Share on other sites
Author Garcon1986 Posted February 22, 2019 Author Share Posted February 22, 2019 True. But I don’t think not wanting a guy who tells offensive jokes means she likes to play games. Indeed I think thats very rational, but what I have seen so much of on this forum, is the lady suddenly turning around and saying, "you've changed", and start playing with the guy's mind and making him wonder why she's upset, or start arguing about the way they are arguing - that just makes me sad. I feel a little behind the eight ball with flirting and good romantic banter, and feel like I'm out of the club when my banter isn't top notch - and start losing chances with great women who disqualify me because I can't make a wonderful joke. I never learned how to make a wonderful aura and allow women to admire my "presence" in the room, and I'm just now playing catch up. I will pick myself up and keep on going, I'm religiously determined to make a great impression on a woman who I can also adore. OK, so an intellectual who has to ultimately conform to your view of the world... any dissent being frustrating and unacceptable to you. Indeed I've learned that my way of doing things isn't the only valid answer in the world, but I don't want to partner up with somebody who plays the my way or the highway game in a relationship. I would like to be able to add my two cents in most relationship conflicts and have the lady be willing to at least consider my input. In serious matters I would really like to be able to have a good mind to mind (like for example if I discovered my girlfriend is anti-vaccination or pro-homeopathic remedies for everything). If she wants to buy a TV, or paint the house a certain color, I will be quiet and go along with it, no problem. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted February 22, 2019 Share Posted February 22, 2019 (edited) Sorry your having a bit of a job lining up with someone. l've got a sister right up your alley, married sorry. But l never understand stuff l see through LS and a game seems a bizarre thing to me , right person you need nothing just yourself. No subjects ,ideas for convo, just seems crazy shyt. The trick is , my tastes in women would probably 3x rarer than yours or anybodies actually but there's clues that narrow that right down. Date site l found after divorce were in that way really handy actually. People talk a bit on their page and right there are clues. Between her face and pics, how she dress or acted in whatever she was doing in pics but especially in her face, a few hidden to most because it's just my tastes lines, just nothing or could be big in whatever she wrote to mm, keys to what she's truly about , if she was in there l could pick her. You know my woman said only 3 words on her page, that was it, yep l shyt you not , 3 words and had 1 pic. Not sayin what but they said more about her and what l like than a novel and right there l wanted her. Took her about a wk to answer yet it always seemed like she was on. So l sent a second message and she answered in an hour and we called that night actually and spoke 3hrs. Knew right then it was all there and we;ve been together ever since You don't need games ideas bags of tricks, you just need your 3 words or lines . lf you want a keeper, then you gotta be very very selective and the rest will take care of itself. Really , why everybody seems to waste their time meeting 100s of people , is beyond me. lt's like they just shoot away blind as a bat into haystacks hoping to hit the one coin. My suggestion is to hone in on her, forget the rest. Edited February 22, 2019 by chillii Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted February 22, 2019 Share Posted February 22, 2019 Or they could be cold fish in the sack...who knows?? TBH neither one is particularly physically attractive., but that's a subjective criteria.. But here's the thing....I have immense challenges when I leave the house for work...Both mental and sometimes physical. . Most guys don't work with their wives/gf's … So when they are home or with their SO is normally a time we de stress and give ourselves a bit of a break...Have some fun...Laugh a little, enjoy the other aspects of life that aren't always so serious of challenging... No one that has any degree of intelligence is going to want to pair up with a blithering idiot, but I really don't see why one would absolutely need an intellectual peer on all levels... Most guys in my experience gladly trade favorable hip/waist ratio or a tight ass and a great rack over a lot of the other criteria, and yes, I am talking about guys on the higher end of the success/intellect scale.. If you can get it all, great...But I don't think its necessary all the time... TFY I agree wholeheartedly with this. My husband and I are about as polar opposite, professionally and in regards to our “hobbies” as it could be. I’m the desk jockey corporate type and if you trapped him in an office? He would lose his mind. I have bookcases full of books...and am constantly reading and devouring news, etc. he is more along the lines of “does this impact us?” Ying/Yang balance. Which leads us to perfectly sort of balance each other. If you’d have asked me before I met him if I’d ever do some of the outdoor hobbies he has? I’d have laughed. He would reply the same about mine. But our differences make us stronger as a couple. And the physical attraction hasn’t waned at all really after all our years...and a kid. Step outside what you might think is conventionally your type. You may be surprised. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 Hell yeah true and on the other hand to what l was saying that suits me and works, well actually on that first up. Gf and l are in many ways quite different , but in many others and biggies that are very important to us both, we fit like a glove. But my oldest brother and his w sound a lot like you guys actually , they're really two opposite people to my mind. Yet they have the longest lasting marriage of anyone l know 35yrs, apart from parents and stuff. Even after raising 3 kids and running a business together 20yrs . Link to post Share on other sites
Author Garcon1986 Posted February 23, 2019 Author Share Posted February 23, 2019 thank you all for your advice, it's my turn to be put off by the dating game and be patient, so here we go, let's chug on. This great thing isn't going to fall into my lap, so I will give religious dedication to get what I want. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted February 27, 2019 Share Posted February 27, 2019 (edited) It sounds like you want to imitate the charisma of those men who are good with women. These people tend to come across as very sure of themselves and they don’t give a $hit about what others think, whereas you’re trying way too hard to impress women. This “trying too hard” trait can be very off putting. It’s not fair, but I bet a charismatic man can get away with your “man carrying a handbag” joke, as bad or even offensive as the joke itself sounds. Edited February 27, 2019 by JuneL 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Garcon1986 Posted February 28, 2019 Author Share Posted February 28, 2019 And the only good training for charisma is to get rejected, tweak things, and just absorb the feedback right? I think the waiter thing earlier was a good idea but my schedule isn't that light, that I can afford to do that. Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted February 28, 2019 Share Posted February 28, 2019 I agree with an advice someone gave you to watch American movies and see how people flirt - specially the silly modern romantic comedies. The little “haha” jokes, the way the actors look at the romantic interest, etc. Women dream about men who talk like that (not me, but I’m not really mainstream). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted February 28, 2019 Share Posted February 28, 2019 <snip> where I get into an argument and the other person refuses to see my point of view, even if it contains concessions and understanding of what the lady is saying. You are fortunate to have a broader range of perspective, where you can see different points of view while not feeling the need to have to agree with them. Most people do NOT have this ability; it is as if their whole sense of identity is tied up with their own particular, tiny view of the world, and they cannot embrace a differing viewpoint - - it's like they don't even get that they can see something differently without necessarily having to agree with it. This great thing isn't going to fall into my lap, so I will give religious dedication to get what I want. What do you mean by that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Garcon1986 Posted February 28, 2019 Author Share Posted February 28, 2019 Ronni I mean that I will work like I did in graduate school to earn my degree, meaning work my tail off. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted February 28, 2019 Share Posted February 28, 2019 Ah! Okay, thanks for clarifying. . (I thought it meant some kind of spiritual petitioning, and was curious about that.) Link to post Share on other sites
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