Lotus_Luna Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 I’ve been involved with a MM for 2 years now. The affair is mostly emotional in nature. We havent had sex, and the last time we got physical was nearly a year ago. For the most part its a stable, supportive and tender relationship. We both have been through a lot and grown personally. He’s never lied, manipulated or used me. He is very respectful and honest even if it isnt easy. At this rate I dont know how long this relationship will continue. I plan to leave my husband soon and this will change the dynamic of my affair. He hasn’t made any promises of leaving, although I’ve never pressed the subject. I am prepared for the relationship to cease once I am single because he will be threatened by other men or I will decide to move on. Although frankly, he is really the person I want to be with. I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest...its been something I’m mentally hashing out and preparing for. Link to post Share on other sites
NotADayGoesBy Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 I've seen a lot of your posts over the months I've been here--I'm glad you are able to finally leave your husband. I don't remember the exact issue (substance or other abuse?) but it didn't sound like a good situation; I hope your leaving goes smoothly or as smooth as possible. I think you are smart to look at all the possibilities of what will happen with MM after you are single, because as you mentioned the dynamic will change drastically. How does he feel about his marriage? Is it 'good enough' that he will likely stay, even though he's not entirely happy? Since you are emotionally close, I assume he knows of your plan to leave H? Has he ever said anything about what will happen once you are single? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lotus_Luna Posted February 14, 2019 Author Share Posted February 14, 2019 I've seen a lot of your posts over the months I've been here--I'm glad you are able to finally leave your husband. I don't remember the exact issue (substance or other abuse?) but it didn't sound like a good situation; I hope your leaving goes smoothly or as smooth as possible. I think you are smart to look at all the possibilities of what will happen with MM after you are single, because as you mentioned the dynamic will change drastically. How does he feel about his marriage? Is it 'good enough' that he will likely stay, even though he's not entirely happy? Since you are emotionally close, I assume he knows of your plan to leave H? Has he ever said anything about what will happen once you are single? He doesnt speak ill of his wife and I respect that. Unlike me, he wasnt dealing with abuse. He struggles with my marriage because of how I have been treated and because he is protective of me. He takes pride in my growth and life, standing aside isn’t easy. He has this way about him, very alpha male, swag and sexy... He uses that to shoo other men away when we are together. I dont mind it because I dont care for the attention. But its a reflection of his desire to outwardly be with me and the inabilty to do so. He and his wife have a stable home for the children. They have seperate rooms, sex hasn’t happened in years (this wasn’t a ploy to bed me, he won’t sleep woth me unless we are committed). But together there is financial security and freedom for him to pursue his career. So while there isnt an emotional connection its easy. I dont think he wants to be the ‘bad guy’ and end it, he would rather get caught and have her leave. They just do their duties and focus on the kids. I’m the person he talks to when hes stressed or excited. He spends the holidays or his birthday texting me. I cant physically be there so he sends me videos and pictures. This even includes soecial moments with his kids. He hasnt said anything about when I’m single. The one time I disccused my fears of being alone because of my large family he assured me there were men who would still be willing to try. But this was before he came forward about his feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 I stopped replying to your threads because your words are very confusing and all over the place. In past post you have described being sexually active with mm, then it others you say you haven't. At any rate, we can assume there has been something physical thus making it just an affair not a emotional affair which carries the name for not being physically active. Why so many mw try to use emotional affair is obvious, but mostly incorrect. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lotus_Luna Posted February 14, 2019 Author Share Posted February 14, 2019 I stopped replying to your threads because your words are very confusing and all over the place. In past post you have described being sexually active with mm, then it others you say you haven't. At any rate, we can assume there has been something physical thus making it just an affair not a emotional affair which carries the name for not being physically active. Why so many mw try to use emotional affair is obvious, but mostly incorrect. We have been intimate but havent had sex But only phyical a few times I wanted more but he didnt We spoke about it recently and he explained its something he cannot do. I dont know if he will change his stance but I respect his comfort Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lotus_Luna Posted March 4, 2019 Author Share Posted March 4, 2019 Its clear he’s indecisive about his actions. I knew it would come eventually and there isnt much else to say. Link to post Share on other sites
PhoenixRising8 Posted March 4, 2019 Share Posted March 4, 2019 I've come to realize now that what we term as "indecisive" is actually not indecisive at all. A decision HAS been made NOT to leave but rather to stay. It just isn't the one we OW want so it's indecision because that's what they tell us: ohhh I'm so conflicted, I feel guilty, I have obligations...yada, yada, yada. Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted March 4, 2019 Share Posted March 4, 2019 Not making a decision is making a decision. Link to post Share on other sites
Gb83 Posted March 4, 2019 Share Posted March 4, 2019 I’d say at least good that he won’t sleep with you. I had the experience of MM mostly saying he wouldn’t want to actually do that, but in weak moments he (not I) felt differently. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lotus_Luna Posted March 4, 2019 Author Share Posted March 4, 2019 I've come to realize now that what we term as "indecisive" is actually not indecisive at all. A decision HAS been made NOT to leave but rather to stay. It just isn't the one we OW want so it's indecision because that's what they tell us: ohhh I'm so conflicted, I feel guilty, I have obligations...yada, yada, yada. LS felt the need to combine my mew post with this old one I didnt ask him to leave. That isnt even what he is indecisive about. He didnt say anything either. He handles his own problems without unloading it on me. Link to post Share on other sites
PhoenixRising8 Posted March 4, 2019 Share Posted March 4, 2019 LS felt the need to combine my mew post with this old one I didnt ask him to leave. That isnt even what he is indecisive about. He didnt say anything either. He handles his own problems without unloading it on me. Regardless what the indecision is about, it is a decision in and of itself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lotus_Luna Posted March 4, 2019 Author Share Posted March 4, 2019 Regardless what the indecision is about, it is a decision in and of itself. Sure which is why I’ve decided to act. I’m removing myself from the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
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