James1982 Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 Hi all been here before but not posted for a while just wanted to get it off my chest... Was with someone for 4 years - she broke up with me funny enough every year after about 9’months each time.. same patterns very loving then would break up with me and i never saw it coming... I’m a fool for keep going back Anyway we split up the last time in October... not spoke since, except she messaged me on my birthday totally unexpected... I didn’t reply. I’m never going back now... Valentine’s Day today and it’s hit me like a truck!!! All I think about is her out with a new guy tonight and of course in bed together.. i feel so low today I want to move on but really struggling to do so. Hope everyone going through similar is ok and hanging in there Link to post Share on other sites
Turning point Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 What you have to realize is the reason she wished you happy birthday is the same reason she breaks up every 9 months and then cycles back. It's psychological conditioning; "head games." The net result serves to keep you engaged with her just beyond your reach. She's yanking your chain to keep a connection in case she needs or wants something from you again in the future - That may even be something simple like alleviating her boredom. You can get through and past this by seeing the situation as she does: with you as a kitty cat, and her dangling a string in front of you. Mad yet? Good. Learn to feel angry at her overtures and soon you won't care anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author James1982 Posted February 14, 2019 Author Share Posted February 14, 2019 Thank you! I needed to read that! I definitely agree with you!! I know it’s all games to get in my head and she’s a cruel person! I could write a book with the things I’ve been through! It’s funny if I could step out of my body I would be telling myself how stupid I was and that she’s so bad news!!! But I am just having one of them low days Really want to be over her for good and meet someone decent!! I hate the constant thoughts of her Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 Hang in there. . .the day is almost over. Do something nice for yourself. . . cook a great dinner; watch your favorite sport; go for a run but do something you want to do. Tomorrow is the day you start your search for a new more suitable partner. Link to post Share on other sites
Beachead Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 (edited) Hey James1982, I agree with everything Turning point stated. Your ex is insincere and she wants you to engage with her for self-serving reasons. She leaves you and breaks your heart, but doesn't allow you to heal and move but doesn't give you commitment either. She wants your mind on her incase she feels alone, bored or what not and it's all serving her..not you. It's not her that you desire but rather what you wished she would be and it's triggered by loneliness and anxiety..not feelings or love. In reality, she's not that great for you and she willingly disrespects you. She knows she has you at her beck and call, so she does as she pleases. Don't teach her to disrespect you, by sticking around, accepting bad behaviour. Withdraw your attention and don't respond to her attempts to get you to engage. She's a waste of time. If you two get back together, you'll have your heart broken inside of a year again. I guarantee that. - Beach Edited February 14, 2019 by Beachead Link to post Share on other sites
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