dealing with the unknown

[rg1986]

I met this wonderful woman, we hit it off immediately and had an instant connection. Truly one of the kindest people I have met. From the beginning I knew that she was moving from the east coast to the west coast in a couple months time.

 

However, over our two months of dating, spending most days together, I fell deeply for her, and her for me. But she still felt that it was something she needed to do, as she has wanted to for a long time. The goodbyes were difficult, but she headed west and we kept in touch. I was not clingy at all, put zero pressure on her, and encouraged her to do what she needed to, while also letting her know how I felt before she left.

 

After a month she stopped initiating contact, but would still reply if I initiated. Thinking she needed to just do her thing, I thought it best for her if I just left the ball in her court. Its been a week since I've heard from her.

 

A week ago, I see on her instagram (I hate modern dating lol) that she is leaving cali (where she was planning on getting a job and living) to go to Australia. I know she has a friend out there, so assuming she is just visiting before maybe moving back east??

 

Anyway, I guess the long and short is I am having a hard time thinking of anything else besides her and why she isn't contacting me when she has told me she has never felt so safe, comfortable, and at home with someone as she does me?

 

I feel like I am doing what is best for her by leaving it in her court, as she knows how I feel, but it sure isn't easy on this end dealing with the unknown.

[Fair]

This woman is moving on without you. She's making that clear. Somewhere along the line she lost interest. So... stop thinking you're in the 'unknown', because you're hanging onto nothing I'm sorry to say.

[nolanola]

I'm so sorry. Long distance is insanely hard, especially when two people are also in different mental spaces. It sounds like she's in a place of wanting to be free, travel, explore things, etc. Not in a place to be in a relationship. I know that sucks a lot, but you guys have a nice connection and she probably thinks of you in a really positive way. Let her go and do what she wants to do. Maybe someday in the future your paths will cross again. But for now it seems like she's got other priorities.

 

I know how hard it is when you meet someone you really like. I don't find a lot of men that I really spark with. So when I do find one, especially one that likes me back, I want to hold onto them. But an uneven relationship (where one person is way more into it than the other) will only cause you long term frustration and hurt. I am learning this lesson the very hard way and it sucks. I think sometimes it's better to be alone than to sit there waiting for someone to realize how awesome you are, while you lose respect in their eyes.

[Simple Logic]

Your relationship was a fling. You knew up front there was an expiration date. You let your emotions override reality, she didn’t.