Tales of the ex

[Dragonflys]

Hi Everyone

 

I have a dilemma. While I have moved on, and now have a new girlfriend and am quite happy, I still see my ex from mid last year around at my work regularly.

 

I don't talk to my ex any more except for the polite hello, and she makes little effort to talk to me either. I get the sense though that she really wants to talk with me and be a friend, but that she is afraid to do so. I still get those awkward silences when she anwswers the phone at work, and she still looks at me a lot when I am close by (and it's been 8 months!).

 

What bothers me is that she really cared about me as a friend, but I still cannot bring myself to communicate with her again. She broke off our relatiosnhip last year, and I was hurt (and maybe still am a little) quite a bit. I know that if I do it would be messing with my head which is not a good idea given that my new relationship has only been going two months, and I still don't feel for my new gf as deeply as I did my ex. I know I will, and I sense my feelings growing, but it takes time.

 

I feel like I am being an a@#ehole to her. Any way to make this a little easier?

[Tony T]

You probably ought to remain a bit distant from your ex for now. What you had wanted with her was a romantic relationship and she rejected that. You did not bargain for a platonic friendship so you are in now way obligated to rush into that.

 

Just be polite to her. One day you will look at her and your feelings will be totally indifferent...completely flat. At that time, you may not even have a desire for a platonic friendship.

 

I also don't think your present girlfriend would appreciate you pursuing a friendship with your ex. Just leave things alone and continue your healing process.

 

A friendship with your ex now would be awkward and strange. You can be friendly towards her without being friends with her. Don't go there now...or ever if you can help it. What purpose would it serve?

[Dragonflys]

Makes sense