Daaanz Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 (edited) He's made a fake Facebook account to speak to this girl... he doesn't even have a normal Facebook account!! Links to chat below. I am heartbroken, amongst being absolutely fuming. I know the girl from his work, and I was aware there may be something going on but he kept reassuring me it wasn't. I snooped because on our iPad, he'd been googling how to create a hotmail address. I confronted him and he just said to sign up for deals etc. Ergh I don't know what to do. How should I confront him. I want to leave, I feel sick. What does she have that I don't? And on Valentines as well? When he came home that evening he was so moody and we ended up having a huge argument. Obviously because she rejected him. https://ibb.co/VtM19Vk https://ibb.co/6NzHG9z https://ibb.co/d4prhgV https://ibb.co/xGhR3tp Edited February 18, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed link with name in photo Link to post Share on other sites
Author Daaanz Posted February 17, 2019 Author Share Posted February 17, 2019 P.s just want to add, I am totally not angry with her. I can 100% see she hasn't done anything wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 You should be rejecting him....all the way to the curb. He told her your relationship is already ruined...that would be enough for me to dump his sorry ass. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 Girl this has nothing to do with better than me...this is emotional. They hit it off, have good bantering, they just click, they have chemistry. It happens to a lot of people. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 You can't possibly be thinking of staying with him. Tell him whatever makes you feel good, tell him you snooped, or tell him you know (without telling him how). But whatever you tell him it should include goodbye. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 Never ever think anything less of yourself just because he has strayed. You are a good person and a good GF, you don't deserve this, and he most certainly doesn't deserve YOU. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 (edited) He's made a fake Facebook account to speak to this girl... he doesn't even have a normal Facebook account!! Links to chat below. You don't know what to do???? Tell him you read the messages and it's over. He doesn't want you he wants her and made that clear. What else does he have to do for you to realize this? Edited February 18, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 If he's trying to be with another woman, he's not your boyfriend. You don't owe him anything. No explanation, nothing. He's just some guy you've been spending time with and being intimate with (I assume). There's nothing to do but L E A V E. . Gather as many of your belongings as you can and go out the door. Period. If you have to, you send a couple of your friends to get the rest of your things later. Frankly, I don't see the point in confronting him with the messages. Cheaters are so hardened and often become righteous when they are confronted. They usually try to gaslight the offended partner and/or blame the partner, etc. They want out of the relationship but they don't want to cut the current partner lose until the next one is lined up. That's the most convenient way for them. You don't need that. Leave, then block, delete, forget. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 If he has stuff at your place, put it on the porch and let him know he can pick up his stuff and that it is OVER. Block him every way possible. He will think the girl told you, which is even better because maybe it will keep those two from getting together and you having to watch that. Don't even tell him you read it. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 And if SHE tries to talk to you, tell her it's between you and him, in other words, none of her business. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Olivia_daviss Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 Just drop a few hints that you know and then ditch him but do you actually love him? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 I vote dump him and don't talk to him and keep him in the dark and let him wonder. He knows what he did. He doesn't know how you found out, but it could easily have been the other woman or someone she knows told you. I'd let him worry about that. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Cersei Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 No don't tell him you know anything, just say that you need someone better in bed. :laugh: 3 Link to post Share on other sites
c1nderella Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 That son of a bytch. I can’t stand cheaters OMG I’m so mad for you right now lol You know what you need to do? Send him to hell.. that’s what you need to do. So disrespectful... if he wants to be with other girls why doesn’t he just straight up tell you and y’all can break up and he can go wet his dyck wherever he wants after. Lol sorry I just feel like once seeing those messages I would have woke his ass up if he was sleeping and tell him go the f to hell!! Lol ughhh 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs._December Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 BOYfriend is the right word for him. He sounds like some hormonal, love sick, pimple-faced, dumb-ass teenage boy. You ask how to confront him and I say, why bother? You KNOW exactly how he feels. There is nothing he can say...NOTHING..that can change the fact that he's pining over some woman and acting as though his widdle heart is breaking because she doesn't want his sorry ass. Don't be gullible enough to believe whatever steaming pile of **** he tries to feed you about how he was just kidding with her and it was just a joke and he only loves youuuuuuuu and she's unattractive to him and blah blah blah. You saw what you saw. Let your packed suitcase do your talking for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Daaanz Posted February 24, 2019 Author Share Posted February 24, 2019 (edited) The last week has been hell. We have to continue living together until the lease is up on our flat and I don't really have anywhere else I can go. I tried to kick him out but he would not leave. All he has done is begged and begged me to forgive him, tell me he knows hes done wrong and will do anything to make it up to me. Blah blah blah. I am so hurt and continuing to live with him is really difficult cannot fathom what I must have done wrong to deserve this. He kept telling me it was because he thought I was bored of him and he wanted to see if anyone else would still be interested in him. Part of me wants to stay because its comfortable I guess, but I know our relationship would be ruined. And this is doing nothing for my own mental health. I know they were just messages but they're literally all I can think about, I think I would rather him have just slept with someone as a one off. My head is going to explode. I just can't stop thinking WHY we had a life together, a home, pets, we've been through so much. But then I have to remind myself he was prepared to throw it all away for her. Edited February 24, 2019 by Daaanz 3 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 24, 2019 Share Posted February 24, 2019 What will surprise you is that how many people would be willing to help you out if you simply ask. Start looking, start asking for help, even if it means sleeping on someone's couch.Get away from him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
crispytoast Posted February 24, 2019 Share Posted February 24, 2019 No don't tell him you know anything, just say that you need someone better in bed. :laugh: I 2nd this lmao 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 24, 2019 Share Posted February 24, 2019 They are not just messages, OP. They were your cue that he is emotionally checked out of your relationship, and doesn't respect the boundaries enough to break up with you before testing the waters with another person. I would have been insulted by his attempt to convince me that I was somehow to blame, for appearing "bored" of him. No. Just no. This is not what a decent partner does to address relationship doldrums. Whether or not he acted on his desires expressed in the message is only part of the issue. The bigger problem is that he isn't invested in you anymore. His begging and apologizing don't change that. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 I agree he checked out of your relationship emotionally. And he is placing blame when it was him that got bored not you...he's just projecting. He's a d bag...pack your bags and get out. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 I agree he checked out of your relationship emotionally. And he is placing blame when it was him that got bored not you...he's just projecting. He's a d bag...pack your bags and get out. Yes, I meant to point that out, too. He's the one who was bored, OP. Don't let him twist that around on you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted February 27, 2019 Share Posted February 27, 2019 Just an opinion, but I actually don't think the messages were sincere. I get the impression he was trying to play her for sex. I honestly think it's worse than if he actually really liked her. No suggestion on a change in policy from me. I'm sorry you are hurting, but stay strong - time to move the **** on! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lolita888 Posted March 4, 2019 Share Posted March 4, 2019 Sorry about that but I do think he is interested in that girl more than you.... he had a change of heart. If I were you I will break up with him. It doesn't matter what he says or whatever reasons he has. He lied to you and showed interest on someone else. That's enough reason. Even if he just wanted to play with her or flirt with her... that still doesn't change anything. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 5, 2019 Share Posted March 5, 2019 OP are there any updates? How are you doing? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 5, 2019 Share Posted March 5, 2019 I would have been out of there no matter where I had to move. Like Smackie said there are probably a lot of people who would be willing to help you short term until you can get your own place. Be honest OP, I think you like his begging and promising you a change and you are staying with him because you still want him. Link to post Share on other sites
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