1Jessie86 Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 After a week long engagement my husband and I decided to get hitched. I found out from my mom that my very adult, 40 year old sister is mad at my mom for not telling her about my marriage, that I told no one about. I told my parents the day of and they were happy for us. My sister, unfriends me on facebook and yells at my mom. My sister and I only communicate on facebook and only get together on major holidays; we're not that close. Should I even bother addressing this or should I just leave it? My sister and I live in different states. My husband and I are moving overseas in the summer. My sister has nothing against my husband, she has always been the type for dramatics. Opinions? Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 It depends on how important your relationship with your sister is to you. You're not close, so there is no reason to wade into the weeds on this unless you want to try and improve things. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 You hurt her, why did you do that? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author 1Jessie86 Posted February 17, 2019 Author Share Posted February 17, 2019 I have 5 siblings, all of which I am not close with. Excuse me if it didn't cross my mind to contact her specifically to notify her of our plans? Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 I haven't talked to my sister in 25+ years and don't plan on it. Its had zero effect on my life. Going forward, I would only contact her if some medical condition arose that was hereditary and I thought she should be made aware of it. We have no medical history regarding our mother's side of the family, so we are kind of "flying blind" as we enter old age. My advice... Bye-Bye sis... Go have fun with your husband in your new locale. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 I would just send her a sweet note saying, "Awww, please don't be mad. We're just in our own little world and didn't do anything special and just wanted to make it legal. Love, ____." 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author 1Jessie86 Posted February 17, 2019 Author Share Posted February 17, 2019 I kind of like this idea, thanks. I would just send her a sweet note saying, "Awww, please don't be mad. We're just in our own little world and didn't do anything special and just wanted to make it legal. Love, ____." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 I guess you could address it. Maybe tell her you didn’t tell/invite anyone and that it wasn’t personal. My brother and I are a little closer than you sound like you are with your siblings, but I don’t really expect him to factor my feelings into his decision making. Unfriending you on social media was a petty move on her part. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 I have 5 siblings, all of which I am not close with. Excuse me if it didn't cross my mind to contact her specifically to notify her of our plans? You have the right to do whatever you want - as long as you understand those choices have consequences. Every family is different. In my family, excluding other members from knowing about and participating in an occasion like a wedding would be a top-shelf slight. Is it so hard to understand your siblings feelings might be hurt by not knowing about your wedding? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Olivia_daviss Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 I think it is worth trying to keep her happy so send her a note or smth and say sorry for not telling her if for nothing else do it if you ever need her help from her Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 Since you don't care about her in real life, why should you care about her on FB? I don't pretend to understand your relationship dynamic. It seems awfully sad to me. I can see why your sister is hurt but she's not important to you so leave her be. If I'm wrong & she is somewhat important to you, apologize. Perhaps plan a small party for next weekend with all of your family so they can share in your joy. But frankly to leave her out of your special day seems callous. Until now she may not have known how trivial she was to you because that is what your secrecy looks like to her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author 1Jessie86 Posted February 19, 2019 Author Share Posted February 19, 2019 I would just send her a sweet note saying, "Awww, please don't be mad. We're just in our own little world and didn't do anything special and just wanted to make it legal. Love, ____." It worked! We're good now, thanks. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 Yay! She's just probably been feeling left out since you got a man. You'll have to invite her for a stayover soon and have some girl time with her! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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