LivingWaterPlease Posted March 2, 2019 Share Posted March 2, 2019 (edited) Aloha - we're actually working really well in the co-habitation/co-parenting department so I believe your story. Thank you for sharing The ex is happily spending time with other people, exploring, doing what makes him happy in life. He is always very honest with whomever he meets in that he wants nothing outside of a casual relationship and that he lives with his sons mother. Some people have accepted that and still hang out with him, others have exited. He's okay with either. We don't plan for it to be a long term living situation but for now, it works. Update on things with MM: I've come to realize that I am not IN love with my AP. I love him as my friend and as someone that helped me learn so many things about myself. Obviously, it would be ideal that he were not a MM. I will always know how wrong that is and I don't pretend it's not. He has supported, encouraged and uplifted me through the hardest times of my life. Of course he holds a special place in my heart. For now, I enjoy my time with him. I accept what and who he is in my life. My life is vastly changing. New career which is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I'll be living alone with my son in the near future. HUGE changes in life. I know that he will be there for that as my friend but can I say he will be there as my AP? Not too sure and I'm not banking on things either way. We're still "together" in the sense of an EA & PA. Since no one knows what tomorrow will bring, I know I surely don't, I am just living in the moment. Will I regret that one day? Possibly. For now, I don't. That's the honest truth . I'm struck with the difference in two of your posts, your first post and last post. In your first post you seem to be facing reality in the last your head seems to be stuck in the sand. Edited March 2, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Amethyst68 Posted March 2, 2019 Share Posted March 2, 2019 So your MM has 'supported, encouraged and uplifted ' you but at what cost to his own family, refurbish the other innocent party in all of this, his wife. You make no mention of his BW, I wonder if she even crosses your thoughts.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blondie539 Posted March 4, 2019 Author Share Posted March 4, 2019 So your MM has 'supported, encouraged and uplifted ' you but at what cost to his own family, refurbish the other innocent party in all of this, his wife. You make no mention of his BW, I wonder if she even crosses your thoughts.... I'm so sorry if it appears she is not on my mind. She is, as are their children. Every day I think of them and how this might impact them. That is the huge guilt that I struggle with which I mentioned in earlier posts. I surely do not think loving him is an honorable thing for me to do. I am doing my best to be cognizant of the situation and the costs involved. I also can't lie and say I don't consider him to be my best friend and someone I care for deeply. He's been in my life for close to 9 years now. I am 38 and never once in my life have I done something even remotely like this. Caring for a MM is not something I am proud of or somewhere I ever imagined I'd be. My head and my heart are at battle each and every day. Doesn't make this okay but I also didn't want to seem like I take pride in this. Thank you for your contribution to my post, Amethyst 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blondie539 Posted March 4, 2019 Author Share Posted March 4, 2019 I'm struck with the difference in two of your posts, your first post and last post. In your first post you seem to be facing reality in the last your head seems to be stuck in the sand. Believe me, I'm struck with the difference as well. I shock myself on the daily with this. To be honest, I change from one day to the next. One day, I am strong, logical, set on what I need to do. The next day, I care for him more than ever and feel I can't live life without him. Yes, I know how ridiculous that sounds. Believe me. I'm aware of my ridiculousness and working on it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Orokotikki Posted March 5, 2019 Share Posted March 5, 2019 Contact his wife, apologize, and ask for her help to end it. She will help end it permanently and fast, so you can focus on healing. Right now the back and forth is an 'intermittent reinforcement' (ask you counselor about that) and is making it even harder than it would be to end it. Do the right thing, I (and many others) believe in you. Link to post Share on other sites
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