georgia girl Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 So, my spouse has a fairly extensive education and has put a tremendous amount of time and effort into his career, but he is really unhappy in it. He fears early retirement (we are both early 50’s) mostly because of a lack of income and feeling like he is not making a societal or monetary contribution by his efforts. We are incredibly lucky that we have no debt and we are currently on track with retirement planning even without his income. Additionally, a year ago I transitioned jobs and took a part-time, work-from-home job that was actually more lucrative than my previous role. Seeing that I could make that leap has inspired him a bit but he is very cautious by nature. I want to encourage him to take this option but I don’t want him to resent me for giving him bad advice if it turns out he either doesn’t like being a consultant or he doesn’t feel as successful. If you retired early or changed jobs in your 50’s, would you mind sharing your fears, goals and success or failure stories? I really think this could be a wonderful thing for him and our future but I would love additional insight. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 (edited) Hi... I (Early Retired) last January. I was 52 when I retired. It was the BEST decision I ever made. I am very much enjoying my retirement. I've devoted the extra time to refurbishing my fixer-upper home and traveling. I don't really have any fears as I've planned out my finances and budgeted for all possible contingencies. My goals are to finish my fixer-upper home. I haven't decided if I'll keep this home or sell it and move onto the next project. I guess it depends on how my body feels once I complete it. I will also continue exploring (travel / adventure) the Southwest United States. I very much enjoy the natural beauty of the desert and there is a lot to see. Quite a few items on my bucket list need to be checked off and I now have the time to do just that. There haven't been any failures, but there was one unexpected expense last month. I dipped into my savings (rainy day fund) and will put the money back over the next 3-4 months. Just a small bump in the road, if you will. I really hope your husband takes your advice and early retires. You only get one life, money doesn't make you a success, enjoying your life the way you want, does!! Just my two cents. Edited to add: Please feel free to PM me if you have specific questions or need specific advice on a subject. I'll be glad to assist. Edited February 18, 2019 by Happy Lemming Additional text added 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 It maybe his line of work. Depending on what you do once you pull the cord there is no going back. I get his caution 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 If you retired early or changed jobs in your 50’s, would you mind sharing your fears, goals and success or failure stories? I really think this could be a wonderful thing for him and our future but I would love additional insight. My wife retired at age 50 from a stressful job she no longer enjoyed and it's been pretty much all positive for both of us. She's much happier, which means we're much happier. Like Happy Lemming, we've traveled, worked on our house and enjoyed time with kids and grandkids. Can he take a LOA to test the waters? That's what my wife did, though it became clear pretty quickly she wasn't going back... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author georgia girl Posted February 18, 2019 Author Share Posted February 18, 2019 Great responses, everyone! I do think he is going to be so much happier. Marc, his concern is that it’s a one-way street in his current position but as Mr. Lucky pointed out, a leave of absence is possible. It just so happens that he has that option but it’s short (4-6 months). Still, he is thinking about exercising it. He goes back and forth and I don’t want to push. Once he tells his employer he wants a LOA, he is also concerned that will pigeonhole him for future promotions/opportunities. In the next breath, however, he admits he really doesn’t want any of the ones on the horizon. My husband is normally very thoughtful but decisive. Seeing his difficulty on this one really strikes to me how very hard this is for him. I feel somewhat selfish sitting here thinking about how good life can be with his early retirement when it is his career we’re talking about. But, we met some friends out this weekend and one of their acquaintances (who was part of the group) explained that the husband semi-retired at 54. It helped my husband to see that no one perceived that guy as a “quitter” but instead as a guy who had a great perspective on life. Link to post Share on other sites
CantGetEnuff Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 @georgia_girl, I'm not there yet, but I've read up extensively on retiring early (at least in 50s as opposed to 60s), and it makes a lot of sense for most people I think. It gives you some 'good years' (from at least 55-65) where you aren't confined by work and you can do some physical hobbies, bike, travel, etc. I mean, what's not to like about that? I'm sure your husband is an interesting guy. Think of how you can fill your day without work (or caring for kids). Daily exercise, cooking, reading, learning new languages or taking on new hobbies, socializing, volunteering, traveling, I mean, there is a TON we can fill our days with instead of just working all the time. I hope to slow down at 50. We'll see! Link to post Share on other sites
Rockdad Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 I've know several people that have retired early and picked something up part time after they had some time off. Im told they really enjoy doing something totally unrelated to their past profession. For myself technically I could retire being debt free with investments paying off but it now feels like the pressure is off in some odd way. I am enjoying work right now and squirreling more dollars away. If I did retire I would have to get a part time because I would always feel unproductive. Link to post Share on other sites
Author georgia girl Posted February 19, 2019 Author Share Posted February 19, 2019 I am sure he would end up doing “something,” maybe teaching at a college level one class a semester (a local community college has already asked), finishing up some remodeling projects at home or volunteering with some of our local nonprofits, so I think he would get the intellectual stimulation and self satisfaction he is looking for. I honestly just don’t want to see him working full-time. It feels like we are wasting precious time when we could be out enjoying life. Particularly as I work just over half-time, it would be great to do more of the simple things that we really enjoy. He says he is going to decide this weekend on asking for a leave of absence and he’s now leaning towards it! I shared all of your stories and I think that hearing how our acquaintance retired early has inspired him. His business likes six weeks’ notice for LOAs but it can be sooner, if it’s an emergency. His isn’t an emergency and he would actually offer two months’ notice, being done April 30th. He is also going to ask for the whole six months so he can really make up his mind. That means he wouldn’t go back until Nov. 1st. To get paid out your unused vacation and sick time, you have to give them four weeks’ notice, so he would have to know by the end of October that he wasn’t going back. If he only did four months, it would be too soon. I will let you know if he asks for it! YAY! Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 I retired at 55, work part time teaching, wife cut her time back to 25 hours a week. 3 word of advice, healthcare, healthcare, and healthcare. That is the barrier you need to scale. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 I am sure he would end up doing “something,” In my experience... He will have to ... We need a purpose in life, a reason to get up, shower and be present in this world and without it we cease to exist or cease to be content and happy. I have had 2 employees retire out of my company, one died within 6 months of retirement, the other is just crazy in the head.. dementia I guess.. The first, his wife said after retirement he did all the things around the house he never had time for when working and after all that was done he had nothing to do so he napped in a chair half the day and died of a heart attack, she said it was the retirement that killed him... He never found a new purpose... Not trying to be a Debbie downer but a successful retirement will include a new purpose in life.. a reason to get up and be present and a reason to live out the rest of your life happy and content... Good luck.. I hope your hubby enjoys retirement.. that is why we work.. right ? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 BTW, after reading my post I realized it was a bit gloomy.. I didn't mean it to be. I just wanted to bring up something that has been my experience as you both transition to a wonderful new phase in your life. I know when I retire I will just be retiring from my job not from life. Link to post Share on other sites
CantGetEnuff Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 I agree with @Art_Critic that it's important to retire TO something, but I think most people have enough interests to where that shouldn't be very hard. Some people become obsessed and consumed with work and their work status, and fail to develop any meaningful outside hobbies. So yeah those people should probably work until the day they die. BUT...for allll the rest of us, it's probably a VERY good thing to retire, or at least downshift to part-time/consulting work, and give ourselves at least ONE "good decade" to really see the world and tackle new challenges, and grow as people. I'll bet OP's husband is one of these people. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 I'm 56 and my youngest just turned 13 ... No early retirement on my horizon. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 I'm 56 and my youngest just turned 13 ... No early retirement on my horizon. Kind of in the same boat, I'm late 60's and my youngest is in college (one of four I've paid for :eek:) and still at home. There is an upside, having a child later in life helps keep you young. I'm actually starting to like SOME hip hop and rap music... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Dude Abides Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 Georgia Girl, I retired a few years ago (early 50's) and for the most part have had no regrets. I have had plenty of time for my wife and kids, cooking and grilling, reading, volunteer activities, shopwork, getting errands done, helping others who need help (without any concern for estimates billing or all the other overhead/headaches I had while running my business). My wife continues to work because she still enjoys it and that helps us financially because of the health care benefits. We sold the larger house we didn't want to maintain any longer and have been quite happily back the way we started out together 25 years ago--in a townhouse. We have had to make very few financial sacrifices because of the reduced income but in nearly every case we really have not regretted the so-called "sacrifice". Instead, we honestly can characterize these sacrifices as instead being just a choice. That choice is having peace of mind (I am out of the rat race) versus being in the rat race but being able to spend more money on stuff. No regrets here whatsoever . Best wishes as you and your husband decide about this next phase in life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author georgia girl Posted February 19, 2019 Author Share Posted February 19, 2019 Thanks everyone! No worries on the health insurance as I have us covered and my husband is an endurance athlete, so I am fairly confident he won’t become a couch potato. He is also very intellectually curious, so I can see him finding new things to explore. Honestly, I see this as somewhat of a masculine, “provider” type issue for him. He wants to do something meaningful and meaningfully contribute to the family. I could care less. I want him - and us - to enjoy life. But, if he isn’t working, I think it could mess with his sense of self-worth. I get it. I honestly do. So that’s why I need to stand back and give him the space to choose what he wants, knowing that I will support whatever he decides to do. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 I have more than enough money to retire, especially the way I spend... That being said, Ill never stop working(unless I physically cant)...The thought of doddering around all day, walking around a shopping mall for no reason, getting in the way of people that do have to work, or laying around the house,etc.. ….eh...not for me... I love being productive and the greatest part about my scenario is that because I am self employed and don't need the money and am too old to deal with any aggravation. I cherry pick what I do on a daily basis..If I want to do nothing but eff around, that's fine...If someone gives me any shyt I tell them to get lost....Its been pretty good actually,... Perhaps he could consider that type of arrangement?? TF Y Link to post Share on other sites
Author georgia girl Posted August 1, 2019 Author Share Posted August 1, 2019 So, it’s time for an update on this. My husband did take the LOA and is planning on full retirement. He will build a second business so that he gets professional satisfaction as well as income. But, our common goal is that neither of us work much over half-time so we can enjoy our lives. It was such a tough decision for him and I really think it stems from how we each individually assess our contributions to society. But now that he has a plan, he’s gotten pretty excited about it. Meanwhile, the lifestyle benefits to us are pretty amazing. He had a parent have surgery and was able to spend a few weeks helping them out. We have planned two trips in the near future and we are tackling some home renovations that we want to do. We are also just enjoying life more. We go for walks, cook dinner together, enjoy a quick weekend away, etc, because there’s no longer that omnipresent pressure or work. Blowing a Saturday on fun vs. yard and housework isn’t such a big deal anymore. I realize we are very lucky to have been able to do this so young, but candidly, we both started working when we were 16, worked our way through college and beyond and lived pretty frugally for a long time. Plus, we didn’t have children and financially that makes it easier. Still, life has gotten very, very good. Thank you all for the great advice. Retiring early isn’t for everyone but it works for us. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 Plus, we didn’t have children and financially that makes it easier. Having had 4 kids, agree they’re not the best financial investment. My plan to have them support me in old age has gone seriously awry. Congrats on making it across the finish line... Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 (edited) Hi... I (Early Retired) last January. I was 52 when I retired. It was the BEST decision I ever made. I am very much enjoying my retirement. I've devoted the extra time to refurbishing my fixer-upper home and traveling. I don't really have any fears as I've planned out my finances and budgeted for all possible contingencies. My goals are to finish my fixer-upper home. I haven't decided if I'll keep this home or sell it and move onto the next project. I guess it depends on how my body feels once I complete it. I will also continue exploring (travel / adventure) the Southwest United States. I very much enjoy the natural beauty of the desert and there is a lot to see. Quite a few items on my bucket list need to be checked off and I now have the time to do just that. There haven't been any failures, but there was one unexpected expense last month. I dipped into my savings (rainy day fund) and will put the money back over the next 3-4 months. Just a small bump in the road, if you will. I really hope your husband takes your advice and early retires. You only get one life, money doesn't make you a success, enjoying your life the way you want, does!! Just my two cents. Edited to add: Please feel free to PM me if you have specific questions or need specific advice on a subject. I'll be glad to assist. I retired at 55. It was a good decision, but there is no way I could have planned for all contingencies because at 55 I was planning for what could be a 40-50 year period. None of us have a crystal ball. Most people who retire at 52 run out of money long before they die. Edited August 2, 2019 by Simple Logic Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 ...Most people who retire at 52 run out of money long before they die. I won't... I "seller-financed" a couple of homes on 40 year mortgage notes. I really don't think I will see 92. If I am alive at 92, I'll reverse mortgage my present home. If the mortgagor(s) on these homes don't pay, I'll foreclose and re-finance to another individual. If they pay the loan off early, I'll buy another house and finance that to someone. There is no shortage of people (looking for housing) with little to no money to put down or have dinged up credit (where traditional banks/mortgage companies won't lend to them). I have a guy in my phone (right now) that wants my present home that I am working on. If I decide to move, I'll sell it to him on a 40 year note (at above market interest rate). He and his wife have dinged up their credit and no lending institution will write them a mortgage. I, personally, know him and feel he would make the payments, but if not... (foreclose and re-sell) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 Allow time ... retiring is just as much, as if more of a transition, than say starting a new job or getting married. A friend of mine, who has money, was changing careers in his 50s, and he wasn't sure exactly what he wanted to do in his new career, though he thought might want to go into consulting, based on his knowledge from the job he was retiring from. He did something really smart (and really a luxury). Instead of taking a year off to figure out what he wanted to do and how to get started, he took off two years. One year to chill ... and the second year to think and begin actions on getting his new career as a consultant started. I think this was such a brilliant idea--and of course a luxury made possible by wealth. My friend's bottom line was that you can't chill and recover ... and look for a new job and start a new job, new business at the same time. BTW: he created a highly successful consulting business when he returned to work. Anyway, retiring is a transition. Structure is so important, getting out the house ... and it sounds like hubby starting a new business (but working only half time) is a great idea. One thing that often trips people up is the idea of "volunteering" after they retire. Great idea. Wonderful sentiment to want to connect with and help others. The problem is there are so many terrible and boring volunteer positions. Finding the right one is itself a project. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 My parents both took early retirement and have been miserable since. It's now been 2 years since the last of them retired, they have declined physically and mentally. More and more they tell me the same stories that happened 20 or so years ago because nothing new happens to them. I have payed for them to travel but they didn't seem to enjoy it. They are basically sitting at home and waiting to die. Link to post Share on other sites
Rayce Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 With the lowest unemployment rate in over 50 years... my age group is still having a hard time finding work. I am 9 months into unemployment now... and I just turned 58. Most of the people in my network group are also in their 50's and also having a hard time getting interviews. We are being told... we don't fit into the culture. I feel like I am being forced into retirement. My unemployment benefits ended last week so I official have no income. I'm at a crossroad of what I want to do... take a way lower paying job just for the sake of working or start using my savings account and just retire. I think I have enough saved in my regular savings account to get me to 62 without touching my 401's but I will basically be poor again. Right now I am thinking of taking a road trip and being a nomad for awhile. I am still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. lol... This thread made me feel better and actually help me see that maybe early retirement isn't such a bad thing. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Rayce Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 Having had 4 kids, agree they’re not the best financial investment. My plan to have them support me in old age has gone seriously awry. Congrats on making it across the finish line... Mr. Lucky My great-grandma told me one time that the reason she had 12 kids was so they could each take her for a month out of the year. lol... Link to post Share on other sites
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