Why does he care?

[leighmc]

My ex and I broke up 2 months ago. At first he wanted me back and I said no, now I want him back and he says no. (I broke up with him because the little annoying things he did) He tells me now that there is no chance of us getting back together and he is happy with his new girlfriend. Last night, he knew I went out with another guy and then today he sent me a text message asking if I slept with this guy. We did sleep together but I told my ex I didn't. My question is, why does he care if he says it's over for good and he already moved on, and should I be honest with him about things like that. I'm hoping eventually we can be friends and possibly get back together. So, I don't want him to know anything that might ruin any chances but yet I feel like I should be honest with him. Please help!

[Barby]

Okay....so after reading both of your threads about this guy and this "relationship" you have/seeking to have..........just as I stated in your other post...it fits the "jealousy theory".........

 

Last night, he knew I went out with another guy and then today he sent me a text message asking if I slept with this guy. We did sleep together but I told my ex I didn't. My question is, why does he care if he says it's over for good and he already moved on, and should I be honest with him about things like that.

 

 

I don't know so much if it is because he "cares" or if he was asking this to find out the depth of your sincerity when you claim you have strong feelings for him and wish to get back together.

 

If in fact you really want him back due to your feelings instead of jealousy then why would you ruin your chances (well possibley ruin your chance) in showing him how much you care about him and miss him? Why would you sleep with someone you just barely began dating....and why lie about it?

 

If you felt the need to deny your actions then to me that says maybe you're ashamed and realize maybe it was wrong (well a wrong move in the game of trying to get him back). Why did you feel the need to go out with someone else and sleep with them (even though I know these things do "happen") instead of waiting it out with your ex?

 

 

If you're trying to move on....dating this other guy should help....if you're interested in a friendship with your ex then try building it based on respect and honesty........see where that goes, then go from there. :o

 

 

Anyway good luck! ~Barby

[fundamental]

My ex and I broke up 2 months ago. At first he wanted me back and I said no, now I want him back and he says no. (I broke up with him because the little annoying things he did) He tells me now that there is no chance of us getting back together and he is happy with his new girlfriend. Last night, he knew I went out with another guy and then today he sent me a text message asking if I slept with this guy. We did sleep together but I told my ex I didn't. My question is, why does he care if he says it's over for good and he already moved on, and should I be honest with him about things like that. I'm hoping eventually we can be friends and possibly get back together. So, I don't want him to know anything that might ruin any chances but yet I feel like I should be honest with him. Please help!

 

Friends? I don't think you guys can be friends. Think about it. If you cannot be honest with him and tell him that you are dating and sleeping with another guy, then a friendship will not work. I am sure he knows you were lying about not sleeping with the guy. If you two are broken up, then he has no right to know about what you are doing with your life. If he is with another woman, then you have a right to be with another man, and it really shouldn't ruin your chances for a future with him. However, if you are trying to prove to him that you are a good friend, and continue to say that you are not dating or sleeping with people in hopes that you can get your relationship back, then your chances could be ruined.

[leighmc]

Sleeping with the new guy was an "accident". I had no intentions of doing it but then the moment was there and I thought it might help me feel better knowing i'm doing what he's doing. It didn't help though. I am not going to see the other guy again. I'm regretting not telling my ex the truth. Maybe if he would've felt jealousy he would know he still cares about me. I feel so pathetic and it makes me realize I need to move on just typing this and getting advice from strangers is helping me see that it must be jealousy.

[fundamental]

Sleeping with the new guy was an "accident". I had no intentions of doing it but then the moment was there and I thought it might help me feel better knowing i'm doing what he's doing. It didn't help though. I am not going to see the other guy again. I'm regretting not telling my ex the truth. Maybe if he would've felt jealousy he would know he still cares about me. I feel so pathetic and it makes me realize I need to move on just typing this and getting advice from strangers is helping me see that it must be jealousy.

 

You mean like a car "accident"?

 

Don't do what he does just to do it. Things will work out for you....you just have to be patient. Trying to make someone jealous does not work all the time. If he decides to come back to you and you are still into him, then you will know whether or not to give it another chance. But who knows? You might meet someone just right for you...someone that you really like and won't have to hook up just to make yourself feel better.

[leighmc]

So I've decided to start NC with my ex. I am sick of feeling the way I feel and am ready to get over it. I still feel like there could be a chance we get back together but I'm not going to push it. I've figured that if it's meant to be, god wouldn't have it any other way and we'd be together.