Worst feeling I’ve ever felt

[Lonelyandsad1]

A few months ago I met the most perfect girl and we instantly clicked became friends had stuff in common had great sex etc..when I first met her I thought I was being pranked bc she was so perfect for me. I started to have a lot of feelings and I was open to her about this. Once I really started sharing my feelings she started pulling away. and last week she broke it off with me. I’ve never felt so sad and lonely. I’m 40 yrs old and I waited my whole life to meet someone like her. In all reality I know I’ll never get a chance with a girl like her ever again. I feel like this is the end of my love life. I can’t get my mind off of her all of my hobbies were things that we had in common so even my hobbies remind me of her. Any advice on how to move on?

[ExpatInItaly]

Why do you think this is your last chance at love? You need to re-frame your thinking to help you move on. There are plenty of options out there, but you first need to identify why you think you're not good enough to pursue them.

 

You seemed to have pinned all your hopes on this one person, which is never a good idea so early on. My guess is that you were over the top and scared her off? When you say you shared your feelings with her, what exactly did you say or do?

[d0nnivain]

Because of the break up you feel particularly low & despondent. When the acute pain subsides, think more positively. You landed one woman like her, you can get another.

 

Next time go a bit slower on the declaration of feelings. If you are not sensing reciprocity, lighten up

[preraph]

Oh, I'm sorry. Usually it's the women who start saying they're in love and scaring the men off. I've never been that good at it, but restraint and a little mystery is everything. There are those Groucho Marx characters out there (and I might be one) who "wouldn't join any club that would have me." It's a strange brew, that phenomenon, and a VERY common one.

 

About all you can do is make new memories with your hobbies and such that trigger you. Overwrite it so it's not always the one association with it. Don't let it stay that way. I am a music lover and that's where all my associations are, and I have almost lost that a couple of times because the associations were too hurtful. I really did lose it before, at least for some of my favorite stuff from a certain time.

 

What helped me was incidental. I always kept a journal and I went to looking for something in it, never having read it before, and I remembered who I was before and how I got to be the person I was, and I was able to reach back and get a lot of that character back.

 

So reflect on not just the loss but on your whole life and looking at what has made you happy or content. Stay busy. Watch things you know will make you laugh, funny movies, etc. Play songs that you like that aren't associated with her. Go out with friends and without. Travel if at all possible, even if it's only to camp at a river. Traveling helps the perspective a lot. It's a big unexplored world out there. Good luck.

[abotha5]

Once I really started sharing my feelings she started pulling away. and last week she broke it off with me.

 

 

You acted like a Beta male. You acted like a women instead of a Alpha male. Go on Youtube and look for Corey Wayne. He will teach you how to act appropriately.

[Highndry]

You're just feeling the natural letdown when somebody rejects you. Be happy you got to spend a few months with a woman you really enjoyed.

 

Unfortunately, her feelings were not the same. I doubt it was the fact that you shared your feelings, it was the fact that she was not in the same place. If she was, she would have loved to hear it.

 

A woman who's into you will let you know. Be careful not to overshare, declarations of strong feelings and "I love yous" too soon will make a lot of people, men and women, run for the hills.