Why did he do this to me??

[confusedblubber]

So I was hanging out with this guy and we weren't official or anything but we were hanging out and we cuddled and he flirted with me and it was obvious he liked me and I liked him too. So after almost four months of this, I finally asked him what we were and he basically said that he liked me but it was obvious I didn't like him because I never made a move on him.

 

Like for example one night he wanted to hook up but it was late and I honestly thought he had a paper to write cuz he told me he was stressed about it. So when I asked him what we were he said he didn't want a relationship because he just got out of one (a year ago) and that his life is a mess and he wouldn't want to hurt me. I am devastated because I really began to care about him and I like him a lot and the memories we made were really special to me.

 

We stopped talking and two weeks after we stopped talking he GETS A GIRLFRIEND!!! LIKE WTF??? He lied to my face and now I am so confused. Like why wasn't I good enough?? I thought we got along great, we laughed we vibed really good. Like I didn't force him to cuddle with me and to flirt with me!! Why couldn't I be his girlfriend???

 

So now, I am comparing myself to this girl and my self esteem is shot. I must be super ugly and fat or not cool or weird. I have no idea. And I could never ask him because he literally doesn't talk to me. We even have a class together and he acts like I'm a complete stranger!!!

 

I am so depressed now. I gained 15 pounds over winter break (that's when this happened). I cry like every night, I can't stop thinking about him, I can't stop thinking what I did wrong, I want closure but he never gave it to me!! I've even turned to drugs, I can't concentrate on school. I've never been this depressed, the pain is unbearable and finding out he has a girlfriend is soooo hurtful its like the biggest slap in the face ever.

 

I don't know what to do and I want to know why he did this to me. Oh and to make matters worse, he was the first guy I've ever had a thing with. He's the first guy to ever act like he likes me, the first guy to ever flirt with me, to cuddle with me, to hug me!! It hurts so bad!!!

Edited February 19, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[d0nnivain]

A first heart break is devastating. Your inexperience worked against you here because this guy misinterpreted it.

 

Young guys are more skittish then they let on. When you didn't make a move on him, he took that as rejection. When you asked him what you were, he thought you were saying you didn't want a relationship with him so he told you a face saving lie, that he didn't either. Deep down he wanted commitment but he thought, like many boys, he couldn't admit that because it made him weak.

 

Between his disappearance & your weight gain your self esteem has taken a hit. You can't change him but you can change your weight. Download a calorie counting app. Eat better. Exercise more. Drink less. Alcohol has a lot of calories. At parties have a drink, then a water & dance a lot.

 

In a while a new boy will catch your eye

[Simple Logic]

Maybe it was as simple as his new GF gave him a blow job the first night they met.

 

Don’t second guess things or yourself.

[preraph]

OMG, stop beating yourself up. This guy was too fearful to even initiate a move on you!! He may have erectile dysfuntion or something. He gaslighted you for not making a sexual move on him. That's HIS job. He's nothing but a scared little coward and I'm sure he's putting this next women through the same exact thing: Wasting her time. He's too afraid he can't perform to try it. So when you asked him what's up, he ran, rather than have to have sex and face his fears. He could even be gay and just dating to keep convincing himself he's not. I've had that happen to me and it lasted quite a while.

 

Good riddance! Next.