By far my hardest breakup [7 year]

[RichardEU]

I had a 7 year relationship with a girl I know for 13 years. We both had relations before we started dating, but they failed and we start seeing each other. (so this was for both of us not our first love) We lived 4 years together, traveld the world, liked the same music, never get bored etc.

 

But 2 years before the end of our relation, she was thinking about kids. And I did not know if I would like to have some kids, maybe in the future.. But she had thought it all over, but she figgered out that she wants them with me, and with nobody else. With tears in there eyes she begged to have children because we were soulmates.. she tried everything and it was devastating to see here like that because the only thing she wanted was to make a family, with me. She even said; we can make children and then I go live somewhere else and when U are ready for it we join back together.. she was so desperate and she tried everything to fix it together, cried alot.(I said at a certain point that she maybe better can go looking for someone to have kids with. With pain in my heart, because deep inside I wanted here to stay, but I loved here so much that I also want to see her happy)

 

I just didnt dare to take the shot, otherwise she was still here. And thats why she leaved after trying all those things. Its by FAR my hardest breakup because overall we were so good together and our bond was getting stronger and stronger untill the kids thing involved.. its been a year since the breakup and 4 months of Nc but I still wake up every morning with anxiety and thoughts over wat I could have had and what is gone, Forever, and I go to bed with the same thoughts and get still dreams and nightmares.

 

I think the big problem is that I cant see anything bad about this ex, with my other ex gf's I can see in hindsight that it was bad because we didnt fit together afterall. But with this last relationship everything was good and even getting beter, untill the kids thing. I know taking kids is a huge life change, but I think its better than waking up every day with severve anxiety and panic, feeling numb and going true the day and at the end hope to get some sleep. I think I never finding a love like this, im also in my 30's now so thats also a big difference, and I even cant think of dating or other women at this point. Even my sex drive is at rock bottom. Its fore sure the painfullst thing I have ever gone trough, because there was (and is) still love from both sides and I been trough some other hard stuff, losing job, house, and parent illness..

 

I know its just something to live with, and maybe with time it will get easier. But I think this is a good example of a 'what if ex' is. And as a guy its hard to cope with a breakup, everyone thinks i'm already over it(and man up) but in my case the feelings getting WORSE day by day.. its just awful and terring me apart. Even the things that I used to enjoy can't bother me, like cooking, going out with friends, watch a movie etc..

And ofcourse children are also not always easy but atleast I would have her back in my life and building on a future.. all those things seem so far away now..

A breakup is always hard, but if there is still love from both sides but u have to seperate ur ways its nearly unbearable..

Dont know why i'm typing this. maybe it helps..

[Scorpio13c]

I understand friend, I went through something similar and I'm older than you. Always trust your 'Gut feelings'. I think in your circumstance, you are being true to yourself and made the right choice as hard as it hurts.. Know that you are strong and that you will be okay, because you are true with yourself

[RichardEU]

I understand friend, I went through something similar and I'm older than you. Always trust your 'Gut feelings'. I think in your circumstance, you are being true to yourself and made the right choice as hard as it hurts.. Know that you are strong and that you will be okay, because you are true with yourself

 

Thank you. I appreciate it.

(Sorry for my bad english)

 

But at this moment feelings are even getting worse and I dont know what to do. Even if I hang out with people or doing stuff. Im losing hope in life, I never had this feeling with other breakups. The anxiety is getting to much. Maybe I should go to a therapist or something. I just dont know right know and have the feeling that nobody understands.

[David33]

I know the feeling. I'm ending a long-term marriage where there's still some love but it's not enough to hold the relationship together. I wake in the middle of the night, get anxious most of the day and don't enjoy things I enjoyed just 10 days ago. I saw a doctor 5 days ago and ended up on meds to manage the anxiety. They're slowly starting to help. I walk multiple times a day, go for a bike ride when it's not raining. I connect with family. I try to focus on the future but it's hard.

 

If you're having trouble sleeping and concentrating, don't enjoy the things you used to enjoy or have panic attacks...I do recommend seeing a medical doctor. Keep reaching out and I wish you the best.