My Ex and I are going to get Dinner

[Fekenaws]

Howdy ya'll, I just wanted to give an update to the LS community about my ex.

 

Brief recap: My ex and I broke up a bit over 4 months ago, it was a peaceful breakup even though I was heartbroken. No begging or pleading. I went NC and started repairing my life and working on myself (losing weight, new hobbies, etc). After about 3 and a half months on a random Wednesday, my ex reached out to me. She said she missed me and that she hoped me and my family were doing well, I responded after an hour and said we were doing good and asked how she was doing. She responded with a very none descriptive answer over 24 hours later saying she was doing okay. I told her I was happy she was doing well and she never responded back. Okay, cool. I went back to NC and resumed my life.

 

Flash forward another few weeks my ex reaches out again on my birthday and tells me she hopes I have a good one and etc. I respond back and tell her I appreciate the birthday wishes and that it's all going really well and that I'm going on vacation soon/all that good stuff. This time she was full of questions: Who was I going with? When? Have I done that before? I eventually cut the conversation off myself and told her I was busy, then I invited her out to get dinner in the future and she agreed.

 

So who knows what's gonna happen, but I think I'll be fine either way. I care about my Ex but I'm not in love with her anymore. I will update this if anyone is curious in the future.

[BC1980]

Did you make concrete plans to get dinner?

[Marc878]

Expect nothing. You've done well and I assume you've figured out she was a want not a need.

[Darren87]

That’s great mate, I’m happy for you. Have you thought about what you might say if she suggests getting back together? Would you want it to be on your terms? Are there things she would need to change about herself for you to agree? Might be worth having a think and rehearsing a bit in your head. Also, a nice tight fitting t shirt or jumper wouldn’t go a miss if you’ve improved your physique!

 

Good to hear though that you’re comfortable about it going either way. Make sure you keep it that way as you don’t want this to spark off your broken-heartedness again.

 

My situation is very similar to yours, 3 months since being dumped, it was a ‘clean’ break up & I haven’t spoken to her since that day. I’ve improved myself and taken the gym far more seriously, which has resulted in me being in pretty damn good shape! I haven’t heard from her though & don’t expect to.

 

Don’t listen to the negative posters on here who would advise against seeing her because, in their opinion, it can only result in a bad outcome. Everyone is different and it’s impossible (and utterly ridiculous) to attempt to apply one rule to everyone. Good luck pal & I hope whatever the outcome is it works out for the best.

[d0nnivain]

So who knows what's gonna happen, but I think I'll be fine either way. I care about my Ex but I'm not in love with her anymore. I will update this if anyone is curious in the future.

 

I hope you remain at peace after seeing her. I fear it will re-open old wounds. But it might provide closure. Keep your expectations in check, i.e. expect nothing.

[The Dude Abides]

That’s great mate, I’m happy for you. Have you thought about what you might say if she suggests getting back together? Would you want it to be on your terms? .

 

Good advice here...something I always tried to do before any serious "event" such as a business meeting or anything that might go sideways.... It's a good idea to think in advance about things so you don't "panic" and blurt out an answer. That's assuming you are like I am and sometimes talk without thinking LOL.

 

And it feels good getting yourself squared away, doesn't it? Happy to hear your good results.

[Grisha]

Glad to hear from you man. I was wondering how things have been.

My ex reached out telling me she missed me as well and I didn’t say it back or anything, just kind of remained happy and positive and kept everything short. She said a lot.

I did just start seeing a new girl I was interested in so I was already unsure if I even wanted to ask out my ex. But she contacted me again after a couple days and I was in the mood so I asked her to meet same night just for the heck of it and she met me 2 hours later and I ended up staying the night and everything went well. Usually I was the one initiating cuddle... this time I only initiated sex while she initiated cuddle after. This is all happening natural because I’m understanding her psychology. Plus I have someone else I’m thinking about now.

I knew that the AFTER part was very important. I told myself I wouldn’t contact her unless she contacts me. She contacted me later that night and we exchanged a few short messages and I’m not planning on doing much else besides possibly asking to come over in a week or two.

 

I’d suggest for you to act like she’s not the only girl you have lol. Imagine you found someone better who never left you. (This tactic will help her attraction grow out of control) but it will take months because you have to prove yourself since she knows how you were with her in the past. Too good. Too nice. Too available. Too safe. She dated you for all those months for a reason. She is attracted to you at her core so it’s possible to keep her.

That’s why going a week to 3 weeks without seeing her and let her do the reaching out is the best way to go because it shows your attention is elsewhere. Attraction grows this way.