Can't go NC yet because we live together - What is the best approach?

[HereIamagain]

So Ex has requested a final week of space so she can decide whether she wants to stay together or not, but it's pretty obvious so far that the odds won't be in my favor. She seems do be doing awesome since we've been apart and I feel like crap.

 

I've been staying on friend's couches but it's going to take me a long time to find a new place to live (live in a city with a brutal housing market and I don't make a lot of money) so at the very least I will still need to keep getting mail at the apartment and need to discuss bills ect with her.

 

So far I've only been addressing the household subjects at hand when she texts, but I also feel like maybe if I pretend I feel fine and try to act non-chalant it will also have a positive impact while she's still supposedly figuring stuff out.

 

I'm being naive and should keep it short and no-nonsense right?

[CantGetEnuff]

Uh...who is on the lease/mortgage?

 

Why did you have to be the one to leave?

 

I'd move right back in unless there is a legal reason you are not allowed to, or unless there is more to this story (like abuse, etc).

[d0nnivain]

Understand how breaking up works when you live together. Your love life has nothing to do with your joint legal obligations. No matter how you feel about each other you must continue to cooperate with each other to resolve the lease & any utility bills. Until that stuff is all squared away with the consent of the landlord & the utilities companies so the person moving out is absolved of ALL legal responsibility going forward, you must remain in contact. Only after you disentangle yourself from the legalities can you stop talking & start to heal. You absolutely do not want to move out & have the other person screw up your credit by not paying & leaving you holding the bag.

 

Since you know this is over, step up your search for new housing & start making arrangements to disentangle your lives. As long as you get mail there, you will remain in touch which will thwart your healing. If you have to get a 2nd job, do so.

 

Acting nonchalant gives her the impression that you don't care. If you want thinks to work, take proactive steps to fix what is wrong. If that is out of your power, give up.

[HereIamagain]

Uh...who is on the lease/mortgage?

 

Why did you have to be the one to leave?

 

I'd move right back in unless there is a legal reason you are not allowed to, or unless there is more to this story (like abuse, etc).

 

She's the only one on the lease. It was her apartment and due to our living situations at the time it made more sense for me to move in with her than vice versa.

[d0nnivain]

She's the only one on the lease. It was her apartment and due to our living situations at the time it made more sense for me to move in with her than vice versa.

 

If you are not on the lease, just disappear. Open a PO box at the post office or a mail center & severe all ties.