James1982 Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 Hi all After 4 years and 4 breakups during that time, i think i have accepted now that that definitely is it. I am NC, even when she messaged me on my bday which was unexpected, i now believe that she isnt going to message to say what a mistake she made or she misses me. I repeat to myself that she isnt going to reach out because she probably has someone else (its been 3 months? i dont actually know anymore) even though there would be no going back now due to the history of how she treated me, a part of me did want her to come crawling back to boost my morale and not feel like the looser... ive accepted a job in a different country, a new start which i think is what is needed... if things dont work out i can come back. Im going to miss my family greatly but i think this needs to be done thanks for reading Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 Good for you! Best wishes on your new start. Knock 'em dead at the new job. Link to post Share on other sites
Jamess1 Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 Hi all After 4 years and 4 breakups during that time, i think i have accepted now that that definitely is it. I am NC, even when she messaged me on my bday which was unexpected, i now believe that she isnt going to message to say what a mistake she made or she misses me. I repeat to myself that she isnt going to reach out because she probably has someone else (its been 3 months? i dont actually know anymore) even though there would be no going back now due to the history of how she treated me, a part of me did want her to come crawling back to boost my morale and not feel like the looser... ive accepted a job in a different country, a new start which i think is what is needed... if things dont work out i can come back. Im going to miss my family greatly but i think this needs to be done thanks for reading Move on, your feelings are not reality, your ex lie any other girl and so will be your next, she was not your soul-mate, no one is, no one will be, she is a girl you met and dated, and you will meet and date another soon.. Why do u need her to boost your morale and not to feel like a looser - stop seeking women for your validation, if you are a grounded man her presence or absence should have no effect on you whatsoever : stop identifying yourself with the outcome of your relationships or association with women. There nothing a woman can say to me, or do to me; cheat,insult,lie, leave,reject etc that can make feel a certain way. If this isn't the case you are not yet grounded as a man; the essence of masculinity the root of your strength and confidence as a man : not giving a f* about the outcome. Even if she comes back, it won't be because of genuine desire for you, it will probably becoz of her failed plan A eg the guy she liked but didn't like her back, or who didn't want anything serious after sleeping with him for months, etc In other words never take a woman back, who views as a 'beta' or an emotional tampon after her failure to optimize her hypergamy with other men. Go and have fun, meet and date exotic foreign women... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 Well, it's good you've accepted it. Until I was on this board, I never realized how confusing it is for guys when women can be casual friends after a breakup and yet not ever want to be romantic with them again. Everyone feels bad when something doesn't work out, but don't let it ruin your self-esteem. This move will be good for you. A new place to explore. It will take your mind off it. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 Well, it's good you've accepted it. Until I was on this board, I never realized how confusing it is for guys when women can be casual friends after a breakup and yet not ever want to be romantic with them again. Everyone feels bad when something doesn't work out, but don't let it ruin your self-esteem. This move will be good for you. A new place to explore. It will take your mind off it. Good luck. What's confusing for me, as a guy, is why any woman would even so much as want to entertain a friendship with an ex when, in all honesty, it's nothing but a giant anchor and red flag they carry along when looking for a new partner. Because, face it, ZERO guys want a woman who's friends with their ex. Link to post Share on other sites
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