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I'm very nervous about meeting my boyfriend's sister

Olivia_daviss

By Olivia_daviss,
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Olivia_daviss

Olivia_daviss

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I have Been dating a guy for 3 months and I recently met his parents who I think liked me I'm an autistic shy person I struggle to talk to other people and I am worried about making a bad impression I'm even more worried because I had a conversation with her on Snapchat and I really screwed up

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Olivia_daviss

Olivia_daviss

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It was weird I asked her some normal stuff when I asked about school she started dodging questions so I stopped then she said what's your problem with me Idk what this means or how I caused it

Other thing that may have caused it is how I'm trying to seem more popular and have lied about having tons of friends to seem more his speed could this have caused it?

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amaysngrace

amaysngrace

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Maybe she struggled with school and is just embarrassed about it. Try not to read too much into it.

 

The lying is bad but what’s worse is that you’re pretending to be something you’re not in order to fit in. Being you as you are is enough.

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Olivia_daviss

Olivia_daviss

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I don't think being what I am is good enough I'm in a small town studying and he is basically worshipped so I don't think I am good enough really

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amaysngrace

amaysngrace

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He chose you to be his girlfriend so you’re obviously good enough to him, right?

 

It’s a bad idea to put him up on a pedestal. He’s lucky to be with you as much as you’re lucky to have him. You need to gain a little more confidence, girlie.

 

He sees good things in you...why can’t you do the same?

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Olivia_daviss

Olivia_daviss

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I haven't tried to put him on a pedestal I'm just constantly reminded he is better than me even my own siblings said congratulations and acted like it was a miracle

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d0nnivain

d0nnivain

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Give all the abuse that you have been taking from the people at school who recently went to jail for the way they treated you, you have a lot on your plate. Of course you are not in the best frame of mind to put your best foot forward.

 

Just be yourself. Shy is OK.

 

Her brother loves you. She is pre-disposed to like. Be gracious. It will be fine. Stop stressing.

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Olivia_daviss

Olivia_daviss

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Stop stressing something I haven't been able to do recently

Is it even a good idea to try and build a relationship with her or would that seem fake

I feel like I haven't been chill for lk 6 months

Idk why but I just start wheezing and panic a bit when I need to meet his family is this normal?

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d0nnivain

d0nnivain

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You are going to slowly build a relationship with her. First step meet. You won't be BFFs immediately. You will be civil & polite. You are connected on social media. Let your BF set the pace of how much time you spend with his sister. For now all you have to do is get through these few hours when you meet.

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Olivia_daviss

Olivia_daviss

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I have Been asked to have lunch with them all tomorrow and I have literally been thinking all day stuff like what do I wear should I straighten my hair should I do this should I do that and I am thinking through every way it could go wrong when you had to meet your pertners family were you nervous

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d0nnivain

d0nnivain

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It's understandable that you are concerned about your appearance. Pick the style that suits you best that you have time to execute. If it will take a long time to straighten your hair leave it natural. When you look your best, you feel your best but your outfit also has to get you through your regular day.

 

It's lunch with a contemporary. It's not a job interview. Go. Order something easy to eat that is not messy. Listen more then you talk. Smile. You will be fine.

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GTR King

GTR King

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No need to worry at all...

 

I was very nervous before I met my g.f mum for the first time, kept thinking about what to say etc.. I am Autistic and shy as well :) we both now get along like house on fire

 

Just be yourself order something light, listen to what they have to sell and when asked questions ask truthly.

 

Everything will be fine :)

where you going for lunch??

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darkmoon

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It is not her you are dating, she just has a walk-on part, so smile and leave it.

 

 

 

Learning, so to say, you now know that if a person dodges one question then the questions must be stopped, or you cause the person to poke back at you, which, sadly, took the form of "what's your problem?"

 

 

 

She could have been nicer, and made a joke, or could have changed the subject.

 

 

 

There is a likelihood that your boyfriend is not blind to her faults, but also loves her, so just smile and say "hi". Do not try to force anything happen, sort of thing, let them set the pace.

 

 

Wear something that won't show food stain mishaps (I am a champion at messing up jumpers) a dark colour.

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Olivia_daviss

Olivia_daviss

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the lunch went OK I wore a dark red jumper over a light pink t-shirt with a black skirt his parents are OK with me his mom likes me his eldest sister and her husband like me but his other sister said hi and nothing else the whole time she also made a huge deal of sitting between me and my boyfriend

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Olivia_daviss

Olivia_daviss

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Earlier this morning something happened I went brush my teeth I collapsed in the bathroom and fainted after this I went to the doctor and he asked me if I was very emotionally stressed could this have caused that I mean all the really traumatic stuff is over

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Olivia_daviss

Olivia_daviss

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@d0nnivain I'm fine I don't have ptsd or anything I was just upset because of what happened il get over it people always do

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d0nnivain

d0nnivain

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@d0nnivain I'm fine I don't have ptsd or anything I was just upset because of what happened il get over it people always do

 

If you say so. You are in charge of your health & your life. I'm just some woman on a message board. But I can't imagine anybody who would go through what you survived & not have some emotional scars from it. You can deny it all you want & it will grow worse throughout your life. Or you can address it now & have a happy healthy productive live & fulfilling relationships. The choice is yours.

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Olivia_daviss

Olivia_daviss

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But if nothing about my life has ever gone well why would it start now also so sorry for snapping at you there I just suddenly felt incredibly angry

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