blondiebythesea Posted February 22, 2019 Share Posted February 22, 2019 (edited) I (female, early 20s) recently spent a month working in Moscow as a consultant, and while I was there I shared an AirBnB apartment with an Azerbaijani guy (24) for a week. Despite my best attempts not to, I caught feelings. There was a spark from the moment we laid eyes on each other. He was funny, romantic, gorgeous, intelligent, and made no secret about the fact that he was crazy into me. The companionship was also nice - just drinking and watching movies together every night, he made me dinner, breakfast, etc. He also loved talking about science (we're both engineers). And he helped me out a lot by communicating in Russian in situations where I couldn't. After a few days, I caved and kissed him (he'd been trying since the second night). So after that, we made out every night until he left for Europe. I refused to go all the way in terms of sex, though (although a part of me almost regrets that now because I was so incredibly into him). I'm dating a guy back home (not exclusive) who I really care about, so I didn't want to complicate things. Well, turns about sex isn't needed to complicate things... So now I'm back home and I still constantly think about the guy I met, every day. He was just so different from all the men I've known. It's been a few weeks. I feel guilty because I'm struggling to feel attraction to my partner (who is a wonderful person) since I haven't gotten over this foreign fling yet. I feel like such an idiot for having these feelings. The Azerbaijani guy messaged me once a few days ago saying he misses me and enjoyed the time we spent together, and we chatted a bit about family, books etc. and he sent me a series he wants to watch "when we see each other again", but I know the truth is that we probably won't see each other again. We live on opposite ends of the world. And contacting me once in almost three weeks is probably a sign that he isn't so into me anyway. I think he probably just wanted someone to have sex with...? (although when he was trying to go further with me before I told him I didn't want to have sex, I told him to go sleep with a Russian girl instead, and he said he wasn't interested). Urgh. Is there a way to get over this/ Or am I just kinda going to fantasize about him forever? Edited February 22, 2019 by blondiebythesea Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 22, 2019 Share Posted February 22, 2019 Remind yourself it was unsustainable. Then recharacterize it. Think about how lucky you are that you got to have a foreign fling. . .all the romance & that sheer fantasy of it all but intellectually realize that the geography makes it impossible. In short savor the good stuff but let reason carry the day that this wasn't meant to be anything more then it was. Link to post Share on other sites
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