Author SmashedCrabFace Posted February 25, 2019 Author Share Posted February 25, 2019 My ex dumped me (but I was in agreement with this decision) and one month later, decided that « the break » was over. I was like WTF?! Nope, I moved on, I’m not taking you back. He didn’t take it very well, had a fit saying I was heartless, forgetting 4 years of relationship so easily. Even now. After 9 months, he’s still writing to me from time to time... and I never answer. You’ll be wondering at the moment when he’ll eventually throw the towel in because you’re not ever responding. I guess it gives all dumpees a huge ego boost when this happens. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 It depends on the person about whether they would try. Here, based on what I read in your other thread about breadcrumbs this woman doesn't want you back; she just wants you to keep fawning over her because she misses the ego boost of having you as her doormat. Proceed with extreme caution. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SmashedCrabFace Posted February 25, 2019 Author Share Posted February 25, 2019 I have never personally asked for another chance with any man I've broken up with, simply because I wasn't interested. However, a dear friend of mine has. She ended it with then then-boyfriend after a couple years because she felt he was largely indifferent toward her and their relationship and she wasn't happy. When she actually became single again, she realized after a couple months she didn't want to be alone. So, she contacted her ex to see if he might be willing to give things another chance. They dated for maybe another year after that, only for her to leave again a serious prospect entered her life. She acknowledged that she hadn't gone back to her ex for the right reasons and let him go for good. The woman I was with, suffered from anxiety and depression and made impulsive decisions. I never did her any wrong whatsoever. That’s why I’m wondering if she’ll ever have the guts to try it on, should she ever feel like she would want to get back with me in the event of her future relationships having failed. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 That’s why I’m wondering if she’ll ever have the guts to try it on, should she ever feel like she would want to get back with me in the event of her future relationships having failed. Even if she comes back to you because her other relationships failed why would you want to be her second choice, her fall back because she couldn't do better? You never want to be in a relationship with a person who is only with you because they couldn't do any better. You will always feel on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop. You think that some part of her is better then nothing but you are only fooling yourself. That is actually torment. Link to post Share on other sites
SophieG Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 You’ll be wondering at the moment when he’ll eventually throw the towel in because you’re not ever responding. I guess it gives all dumpees a huge ego boost when this happens. It doesn’t give me an ego boost, I’m just annoyed. And I’m not wondering about anything, I just don’t think about him, period (except when I see his name on my phone when he tries to talk to me). He tried dating other persons, probably realized what he lost and came back... sorry bro but what’s done is done. I don’t need to be someone’s second choice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SmashedCrabFace Posted February 25, 2019 Author Share Posted February 25, 2019 It depends on the person about whether they would try. Here, based on what I read in your other thread about breadcrumbs this woman doesn't want you back; she just wants you to keep fawning over her because she misses the ego boost of having you as her doormat. Proceed with extreme caution. She certainly wouldn’t want me back if she was still seeing someone else. I don’t know if she is or not, so I’ll just work on the issumption that she is. She doesn’t know that I’m even giving her any thought at all for that matter. I went NC on her, she doesn’t have a clue what’s going on in my mind. So there is no ego boost being given. If you left a job on bad terms, would you ever try to get back in there if things didn’t work out in other jobs elsewhere, knowing that you’d burned the bridges? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SmashedCrabFace Posted February 25, 2019 Author Share Posted February 25, 2019 If you were still connected on any social media platform you never implemented NC. Similarly receiving texts from her is not NC. Based on your other thread, these bread crumbs are her looking for an ego boost. She thinks that you are such a door mat that she can like a FB post & have you chasing after her begging for another chance. Whatever you think this is, it's not a real effort at a meaningful reconciliation. She's toying with you. She might well be toying with me from time to time, but I’ve never chased her. I accept that we’ve not had what you would call full no contact, so perhaps we’ll refer to it as limited contact. After 4 months of breadcrumbing, she’ll know that if I ever was to go after her asking for her to take me back, I’d have done it by now. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 I don't leave jobs or relationships on bad terms. I also generally don't go backwards in life. Link to post Share on other sites
SophieG Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 I’m with D0nnivain on this. When I make a decision, I commit to it. Whether I left the relationship or job on bad or good terms, I move forward, not backwards. I wouldn’t go back with an ex, nor would I go back to an old job. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 You’ll be wondering at the moment when he’ll eventually throw the towel in because you’re not ever responding. I guess it gives all dumpees a huge ego boost when this happens. Eh, no, not always. Not if the dumper really wanted it to be over. Years ago now, I broke up with a guy who was good but ultimately not for me. We'd been together 5 years and it wasn't an easy decision to make. He continued to contact me, ask for another chance, try to hang out - at first I was firm but gentle in saying no. I became more insistent when he didn't take a step back (this was before smartphones and social media) When he finally did relent and stop reaching out, what I felt was relief. I didn't wonder where he went or why he stopped. I made the assumption he'd moved on, which was great because I had too. Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 I’m with D0nnivain on this. When I make a decision, I commit to it. Whether I left the relationship or job on bad or good terms, I move forward, not backwards. I wouldn’t go back with an ex, nor would I go back to an old job. I've gone back to old jobs - it's never the same or as good. The same can be said for relationships. When you go back, you find out all the old, annoying things are still there, and it's never as good as the first time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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